To the unmarried
Genesis 2:15 - 25 Then the LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it. 16 And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; 17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” 18 And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” 19 Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. 21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said:
“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
This scripture is about marriage, but interestingly it has much to say about singleness:
First of all, it does not say that Adam decided it was bad for him to be alone. GOD decided this. So it is God who decides when we should get married and brings our mate to us. It is not for us to suddenly decide “I don’t like being alone” and start hunting around for a mate. Adam wasn’t hunting for a mate. God was preparing a mate for him.
Second, Adam was doing what God commanded him to do -- keeping the garden. He was also doing whatever opportunities came his way, as in naming the animals. Once he was fulfilling the purpose God has put him on the earth for, THEN God brought him a wife. Many people think that getting married will bring them purpose or that marriage is their purpose. Not so! God has an individual purpose for everyone. No-one should be sitting around waiting for marriage. They should be doing those things God has called them to do while they wait. It is in the process of fulfilling the individual will God has for a person that God will bring that person their mate.
So to all singles: the goal and purpose of your life is not finding a mate! We are told in 1 Corinthians 7:32 - 34 that a single person is to please the Lord and care for the things the Lord would have them care for. Because once you are married, you will care about the things of the world -- how to please your mate. Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 actually says it’s better to be single, but if someone desires to be married they have not sinned. In this passage he says as long as a man can behave properly toward ‘his virgin’ [exact words used] it is better to stay single. He says that being married is a distraction from serving the Lord. So don’t let married people get to you when they ask, ‘Why aren’t you married?” Remember: being married is not superior to being single. If you’re married and reading this, please do not indicate to singles they can’t be happy unless they’re married. The Bible indicates the exact opposite.
I suggest every single read 1 Corinthians chapter 7 all the way through…MANY TIMES.
It is only God who can truly make anyone happy. To think otherwise is to put a person in God’s position. God must always be first in our lives and at the top pinnacle of importance! We must not seek in a person -- as in a mate -- what only God can give us, which is total satisfaction and fulfillment. David did not say his soul longed for his wife, he said his soul longed for and panted after God. It is God we are to be hungry and thirsty for, not a person.
I cringe when I hear people say, “I love him/her with all my heart.” We are commanded in both the Old and New Testaments to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul mind and strength…and in the New Testament to love our neighbor as ourselves. It is only in loving God whole heartedly, with everything in us, that we then have the necessary love to give our neighbor…as in our mate. Here are the scriptures:
Deuteronomy 6:5: 4 “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! 5 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
Matthew 22:34 - 39: 34 But when the Pharisees heard that He had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. 35 Then one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, and saying, 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” 37 Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”
Mark 12:29 - 31: 29 Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one. 30 And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. 31 And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
Luke 10:25 - 28: 25 And behold, a certain lawyer stood up and tested Him, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 26 He said to him, “What is written in the law? What is your reading of it?” 27 So he answered and said, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and ‘your neighbor as yourself.’” 28 And He said to him, “You have answered rightly; do this and you will live.”
What to do with ‘It is not good for man to be alone?’ Take the entire Bible in context. And realize that under the new covenant Jesus made it possible, by the power of His Holy Spirit, for people to do amazing things, such as remain single successfully.
I suggest every single read 1 Corinthians chapter 7 all the way through…many times. It includes principles for virgins, for singles, for married people and for those once married, now single. Don’t just read it. Pray you can honor God in your relationships with the opposite sex as per the principles in this chapter.
Here is a really important principle to note in this passage: 1 Corinthians 7:26 & 27: I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is: 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife.Well, as was said above, don’t spend your single days looking for a mate. This is not the purpose and goal of singleness. Singleness is not just a stage that we are waiting to end when we reach the final destiny of marriage.
Because it says “Are you loosed from a wife?” I am thinking this refers to those whose mate has died or divorced them… So if you are a single once married, you are not to be looking for a mate. Our lives are not about having a significant other. This is a lie of the world and of Hollywood and even well meaning Christians who have bought the lie. And it is possible to remain single to the end of our days even if once married. For Paul is said to have been married...and in this passage said it was better to be as he was now (single).
Now, let’s look at how the Genesis 2 passage ends, for the last important message to singles:
Genesis 2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Companion scriptures:
Hebrews 13:4: Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Proverbs 5:15 - 20: 15 Drink water from your own cistern, And running water from your own well. 16 Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? 17Let them be only your own, And not for strangers with you. 18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. 19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love. 20 For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?
In other words, sex outside marriage is a sin; the man and his wife were naked and unashamed. If you are not married, keep your clothes on when with a member of the opposite sex!
To sum up, marriage is God’s idea, including whether or not you get married and when you get married and to whom, if you do. You don’t pick. God does. And do not get married unless it is God’s plan for you.
I just reread the Genesis 2 passage, and I may have missed the most important principle of all. When it says that God commanded Adam, it reminds us that God had a relationship with Adam. They were on speaking terms. So, before we can be in a successful relationship with a person/mate, we must be in a successful relationship with God...well, this would be the same truth brought out in loving the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and loving our neighbor as ourselves. It all starts with living in obedience to God. That is all we are called on to do...and it is up to God to either bring us a mate or help us live successfully as a single.
“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
This scripture is about marriage, but interestingly it has much to say about singleness:
First of all, it does not say that Adam decided it was bad for him to be alone. GOD decided this. So it is God who decides when we should get married and brings our mate to us. It is not for us to suddenly decide “I don’t like being alone” and start hunting around for a mate. Adam wasn’t hunting for a mate. God was preparing a mate for him.
Second, Adam was doing what God commanded him to do -- keeping the garden. He was also doing whatever opportunities came his way, as in naming the animals. Once he was fulfilling the purpose God has put him on the earth for, THEN God brought him a wife. Many people think that getting married will bring them purpose or that marriage is their purpose. Not so! God has an individual purpose for everyone. No-one should be sitting around waiting for marriage. They should be doing those things God has called them to do while they wait. It is in the process of fulfilling the individual will God has for a person that God will bring that person their mate.
So to all singles: the goal and purpose of your life is not finding a mate! We are told in 1 Corinthians 7:32 - 34 that a single person is to please the Lord and care for the things the Lord would have them care for. Because once you are married, you will care about the things of the world -- how to please your mate. Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 actually says it’s better to be single, but if someone desires to be married they have not sinned. In this passage he says as long as a man can behave properly toward ‘his virgin’ [exact words used] it is better to stay single. He says that being married is a distraction from serving the Lord. So don’t let married people get to you when they ask, ‘Why aren’t you married?” Remember: being married is not superior to being single. If you’re married and reading this, please do not indicate to singles they can’t be happy unless they’re married. The Bible indicates the exact opposite.
I suggest every single read 1 Corinthians chapter 7 all the way through…MANY TIMES.
It is only God who can truly make anyone happy. To think otherwise is to put a person in God’s position. God must always be first in our lives and at the top pinnacle of importance! We must not seek in a person -- as in a mate -- what only God can give us, which is total satisfaction and fulfillment. David did not say his soul longed for his wife, he said his soul longed for and panted after God. It is God we are to be hungry and thirsty for, not a person.
I cringe when I hear people say, “I love him/her with all my heart.” We are commanded in both the Old and New Testaments to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul mind and strength…and in the New Testament to love our neighbor as ourselves. It is only in loving God whole heartedly, with everything in us, that we then have the necessary love to give our neighbor…as in our mate. Here are the scriptures:
Deuteronomy 6:5: 4 “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! 5 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
Matthew 22:34 - 39: 34 But when the Pharisees heard that He had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. 35 Then one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, and saying, 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” 37 Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”
Mark 12:29 - 31: 29 Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one. 30 And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. 31 And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
Luke 10:25 - 28: 25 And behold, a certain lawyer stood up and tested Him, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 26 He said to him, “What is written in the law? What is your reading of it?” 27 So he answered and said, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and ‘your neighbor as yourself.’” 28 And He said to him, “You have answered rightly; do this and you will live.”
What to do with ‘It is not good for man to be alone?’ Take the entire Bible in context. And realize that under the new covenant Jesus made it possible, by the power of His Holy Spirit, for people to do amazing things, such as remain single successfully.
I suggest every single read 1 Corinthians chapter 7 all the way through…many times. It includes principles for virgins, for singles, for married people and for those once married, now single. Don’t just read it. Pray you can honor God in your relationships with the opposite sex as per the principles in this chapter.
Here is a really important principle to note in this passage: 1 Corinthians 7:26 & 27: I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is: 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife.Well, as was said above, don’t spend your single days looking for a mate. This is not the purpose and goal of singleness. Singleness is not just a stage that we are waiting to end when we reach the final destiny of marriage.
Because it says “Are you loosed from a wife?” I am thinking this refers to those whose mate has died or divorced them… So if you are a single once married, you are not to be looking for a mate. Our lives are not about having a significant other. This is a lie of the world and of Hollywood and even well meaning Christians who have bought the lie. And it is possible to remain single to the end of our days even if once married. For Paul is said to have been married...and in this passage said it was better to be as he was now (single).
Now, let’s look at how the Genesis 2 passage ends, for the last important message to singles:
Genesis 2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Companion scriptures:
Hebrews 13:4: Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Proverbs 5:15 - 20: 15 Drink water from your own cistern, And running water from your own well. 16 Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? 17Let them be only your own, And not for strangers with you. 18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. 19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love. 20 For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?
In other words, sex outside marriage is a sin; the man and his wife were naked and unashamed. If you are not married, keep your clothes on when with a member of the opposite sex!
To sum up, marriage is God’s idea, including whether or not you get married and when you get married and to whom, if you do. You don’t pick. God does. And do not get married unless it is God’s plan for you.
I just reread the Genesis 2 passage, and I may have missed the most important principle of all. When it says that God commanded Adam, it reminds us that God had a relationship with Adam. They were on speaking terms. So, before we can be in a successful relationship with a person/mate, we must be in a successful relationship with God...well, this would be the same truth brought out in loving the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and loving our neighbor as ourselves. It all starts with living in obedience to God. That is all we are called on to do...and it is up to God to either bring us a mate or help us live successfully as a single.
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