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The cry of mankind

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Posted by: DespondentSoul

I am a child of the most desolate wilderness.

First of all, I must warn you that my words may not make sense. I am in a rabidly sorrowed emotional state. Tears cascade from my jaded eyes.

I cry often- and it hurts. I am lonely...like a Monolith....like the Coyote in exile..who has been in expulsion from the safety of the pack.

I am a 28 year old man, and I have few friends. I am single. I live a life of quiet desperation.

Before I continue, I am cognizant of my own plight. You may see tell tale signs of depression...that is because I was just healed my God of depression, OCD, and anxiety. Vestiges of the illnesses remain.

It hurts my heart so deeply that I am alone in the universe. I need a nice woman to be with me. Sometimes I cry in public- but not one person asks me why I am crying. The world is a lonely place. You're on your own.

So many reasons for my sadness. I saw a little dog in the road this morning. It was dead. Someone had run him over. That made me cry out to God.

Then I saw the movie "The last Samurai" tonight. The tears streamed down my face...it is such a sad, emotion laden movie.

I also cry now because of the demise of innocence. I once believe that there was a trace of innocence left in this world- but somehow. that vision has died.

With all the bad things happening around me, I begin to feel the world changing- and it is not changing for the better. It is getting worse. Crime. Pornography. Young kids fornicating. Drugs. The loss of reverence, and the death of innocence.

I bear the weight of the world upon my shoulders. I bleed day by day in secret.

I am in love with a young Asian Actress- her name is Chiaki Kuriyama. She is incredibly beautiful. But the truth is so hard to face. She is in Japan, and she will never even know I had existed after I become a memory...when I, to dust, return. It makes me so sad that I fell in love with a girl who would never know my name. My dream, in this life, is her. But my dreams, like my body, will change to dust when I leave the world behind.

I wanted so much more for myself. I wanted to become an actor- someone who was respected. Someone with wealth. But all my dreams I once held dear are dead and buried- slain by reality.

I have failed my life. I have wasted it utterly. And as for the chance of me having love with the girl I adore, there truly is no hope left.


As you may have gathered, I am hypersensitive. In fact, I believe I am one of the most hypersensitive people alive. I am weak, and I get hurt oh so easily. I have tried to love mankind, and they all turn their backs on me, or betray me.

I am sad, for the world is different now than it was when I was a little boy. I remember the sunshine.

It is my destiny to cry for the rest of my life. What a sad, sad life. I never knew life was this barren. Although I once believed in justice, hope, and my dreams, it has resulted in a despair of truth. The truth, in this case, has not set me free- it has imprisoned me. I will never have the true love I long for. I will never be wealthy. I will spend my Autumn years crying...mourning for the dreams I had when I was young.


Posted by: ANOINTED WARRIOR

HI DESPONDENT SOUL, I AM 29 and dont care if i ever have a wife or girl in my life though thats all awesome, my point is this, Jesus is the answer before a girl or wife...I am never lonely, he makes himself so real and alive to me hes my best friend and love, his presence is indecribable, no words to explain his presence, his anointing and fire in his presence is awesome....he loves to talk and chat through out the day, he is a person and not a religious figure, if you want to know Jesus in an awesome way pray this: Jesus I give you my life and lay it all down for you, come into my heart and be my saviour and lord forever and friend, forgive me of my sin, let me recieve your Holy Spirit now into my heart to walk with me and guide me in my life, be my best friend Jesus amen...if you prayed that despondent soul, know you can begin now talking as you talk to anyone else, except jesus wont get mad at you and ignore you....God bless am here for you..