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Spanking your children ??

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Posted by: Frederik

What do you think is spanking okay ? I read an article written by a guy called Rick Joyner and he thinks that spanking is a good thing to do when you wanna disciple your children. I think no child should be beaten. Joyner uses quotes from the bible which say that God chastens the ones which he loves to support his view.
In Germany beating or spanking your children is forbidden and I totally agree with this law I just can't believe that a christian can beat his children. Jesus would never have beaten a chíld. What is your opinion, do you also spank your children ? I hope not.


Posted by: txteacher

Spanking a child to gently discipline is by no means the same as beating a child.  I agree that spankings don't work o­n all children but they do serve a purpose with some children.  I was spanked as a child and turned out fine.  I don't have any memories of being beaten!!  I think that each parent has to find what works best for their own child.


Posted by: txteacher

just an afterthought.....our pediatrician is from Germany...I know that he disapproves of spanking a child....however, he suggested we strap our child to his bed....I feel that that is much worse than a quick swat to the bottom....


Posted by: Frederik

Strapping the child to the bed ? Is this a joke or what ? This is torture !
I cannot believe that a christian would do that.


Posted by: txteacher

I am very serious....our doctor is from Germany and said this is a common practice in Germany.  Of course, we have NEVER done anything like that.  The entire reason it even came up was that our child was o­n oxygen when he came home from the hospital and would get all wrapped up in the oxygen tubes. 


Posted by: Frederik

A common practice in Germany ???! This guy must be nuts ! In Germany you'd be taken to court for doing something like this ! Your doc must be insane, tell him this from me ! If my neighbour strapped his child to the bed, I'd come over to him and beat him up like he's never been beaten up before.
Somebody who strapps his child to the bed must be a sadistic and perverse being.


Posted by: MrsBill

Frederik,
Here in the US, there are laws against child abuse also.  I agree with the other poster, there is a huge difference between spanking and beating a child.  I have seen both sides of the spanking and not spanking issue.  The state that I live in has a child family services department and the o­nes that work in it are just as conflicted o­n the issue as most.  The law states that it is physical abuse if we were to hit a child more than o­nce or for that matter anywhere other than o­n their bottom and the o­ne strike must be nothing more than open hand.  So much for the teachings of the old testament:
Proverbs 22:15 - Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13 - Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Proverbs 23:14 - Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
Proverbs 29:15 - The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
I don't think that a swat o­n the tush is hardly child abuse.  Let me ask you this, if your child tried to light a match or play with a lighter, would you swat that hand for touching something that could be dangerous?  If so, by the laws of this state, you could be charged with child abuse.  My personal opinion is that there is correction and then there is abuse.  Correction is done out of love and is done when your under control.  Abuse is done out of anger and is often when you are out of control.


Posted by: txteacher

MrsBill....I totally agree with your views o­n spanking.  There is a time and a place for everything.  We should ALWAYS turn to the Bible for clarification.


Posted by: sewart

Spanking is fine. In fact, when I went to school, teachers were allowed to spank, I'll tell you, there was ALOT more respect then. Nowadays, children don't respect (fear) anybody! --- because they can go home to mommy and daddy and then SUE the teacher!!


Posted by: silverthorn

I agree with Frederik. I cannot imagine Jesus every spanking a child. We are much bigger than children and should be more experienced and smarter. Can't we figure out a way to disipline them without physically smacking them? I do not understand this theory in Christianity. Yes, I have read the quotes from the bible but can anyone give me an example of Jesus speaking about this? I love the bible and I use it as a tool for learning but I don't take every work literally. It is only a tool to me, my inspiration comes from a personal relationship with God. I seek guidance from God.

I feel that spanking is just a tool to express our own adult frustration and is a quick fix to what should be more time spent on teaching a child how to behave. In a world of violence how do we teach our children that physical force is wrong if we use it against them? Yes, I was spanked also. I also know that my parents made alot of mistakes raising me, just as I did with mine but I still feel that there is a better way of being a disiplinarian that hitting. I don't hit my dog either. He responds to praise. Surely, children are as smart. Okay....I got a little passionate with this one....hope I didn't offend anyone.


Posted by: Frederik

I agree with silverthorn.

I wouldn't want my child to fear any teacher. No child should fear any person because of having been spanked, that's sick.
I see chidlren which already put the hands up to defend themselves when their father makes a quick movement, they are used to being beaten and every time their father makes a quick move they think that they'll be beaten again. This is really sad.


Posted by: sewart

Well, I guess we can agree to disagree...
Let's pray and follow JESUS, and not seek and follow OUR own wisdom.


Posted by: daybreakdove

I'm going to add my 2 cents worth in here.

I was beaten as a child and I don't beleive in child abuse. However, I do spank my kids when they need it. I don't beat them with the belt or all the other weapons that my mother used on me.

Right now, my girls are in their teens. It is a very difficult time on all of us right now. My kids are trying to disrespect me every chance they get. I won't allow it and they know it. I tell them I am the Queen and they are the little princesses. There are times when I do feel like "abusing" them. But I don't. The funny thing is though, whenever they go over to some else's house, they other person tell s me how well behaved and quiet my children are. Mine? Then I realize that I am doing a good job and that my kids are listening to what I say. They know that if they act up--they will be disciplined. But not beaten.

Daybreakdove


Posted by: jedijeb

I agree with dove, there are times for spanking and times for other punishment. Had myparents used " time out" on me, I would never have learned any discipline. I could sit in a corner and entertain myself with my imagination for hours, that was no punishment at all. Now a swift swat on the behind or smack of the hand got my attention. It was more the embarrassment and knowing I had disappointed my parents than pain that made this work, but it took the physical contact to get my attention. I definately do not condone abuse, either physical or verbal. Calling a child dumb or stupid, that is just as harmful as beating them, and the emotional scars last longer than physical ones. What is in the Bible both old and new testaments is God's word and there to guide us as to what to do in our life situations. When is mentions a rod it means a rod, but it also tells us to love our children and not provoke them to wrath which means not to punish them for no reason or without explaining why they get punished. God does the same to us, just go out and sin on purpose and see what happens. Sometimes the punishment will be physical. God does it from love because He wants us to learn something that makes us better Christians, or to keep us from hurting ourselves or others. I would rather smack a childs hand than to have them end up with burns from touching a hot stove, and a one year old does not understand the word hot.

I know I will get yelled at for my beliefs, but as it says in Ecclesiastes there is a time and a place for everything, we just have to ask God for the wisdom to know what to do in every situation. Trust in God and you will know the correct action to take.


Posted by: Dreamweaver

Hi Dove,
I forgot to add that beating teenagers is okay!!! lol!!!! Just kidding but they are difficult. My daughter thought I was horrible because she had to be home at 11:00 when everyone else (supposedly) had to be home at 12:00. One thing she told me recently though was that when she spent the night with friends and I always called their parents ahead of time thinking that they would keep an eye on them. She said most of them just got drunk or went out themselves and never watched them. I was shocked. I always thought that other parents were responsible too and would make sure they were safe and watched after. Guess I wasn't careful enough. If I had only known. Wasn't it sweet of her to wait and tell me 15 years later!!!!!!

Jan


Posted by: daybreakdove

Oh, I remember those days!!! The things that I did. My mother still doesn't even know about. I tried to tell her last year, but she said, 'What are you telling me now for--I don't want to know! Cause I'll want to kill you!" Okay, mom I won't tell you about the time I took your car places I wasn't supposed to. Okay, mom I won't tell you about when I cut school. Okay, mom I won't tell you about all the times I ran the street and went to parties where there was alcohol.

My kids think I'm stupid!!!!

My girls were so CUTE when they were little--what happened? I am so looking forward to (about 10 years from now) when I am a Grandmother and my girls are mothers. I am so going to laugh at them. Payback time!!! Nobody ever warned me. How about you???

Dove


Posted by: Dreamweaver

Dove,

My father was probably the best Christian that there ever was and he never spanked me but oh that man could shame you with a look. I remember when I was about eighteen my friends and I went out in my car and there was some drinking involved. I rarely drank and I'm not sure if I had drank any that night but when I woke up the next morning my father was sitting at the table with his bible open and a pint of whiskey he had found in my car sitting next to it. He didn't say a word but I could have crawled under the rug and I was so horribly ashamed. He was so good that disappointing him was the worst punishment I could have ever had. Sometimes I really wanted him to just spank me or ground me or anything except talking to me about what I had done. I sure miss that man, he certainly made a mark on this earth. I would give anything for my children to feel the same about me. They don't listen to much of anything that I say. And when they were teens, forget about it.

Jan


Posted by: daybreakdove

Girl,

Believe me--do I ever understand!!! One thing I will not back down on though is this: I tell my girls all the time I don't care if I am 90 years old and in a wheel chair and they are 70 years old--if they ever disrespect me and treat me like ****, I will take them over my knee and whoop their butts. I will not tolerate their nasty attitude. I work in the grocery store and sometimes I feel like "I'm the only with one with horrible teenagers." Then I see some other poor mother walk by with a teenager in tow and I will hear part of their conversation. Then I realize that I am not the only one the ditch fighting on the battlefield. I sure wish someone had told me what parenting was really like. I probably would never have had kids and could be sitting on a nice, sunny paradise beach somewhere with Copacobana Boy serving me fruity drinks all day long!!!

Hey girl,
I have a great idea!!! Want to run away with me to "Woman Island?" No husband, kids, and grandkids. Sounds peaceful and quiet to me. Let me know and we can plan it out!!! lol

Dove


Posted by: MrsBill

I too am truly amazed when I talk to other parents or go to the shops in town that my kids have visited. I know my kids have been unruley with me however, I always get compliments on how polite and well behaved they are. There are times I wonder if they have me confused for another parent. I was beaten (sometimes severely) as a child which seemed to build charactor (until I hit the magic teens when I became a real rebel). Yes, I have hit my children too. If the spanking is done when you have had a brief chance to pray and cool your temper before spanking, I really feel that then and only then can you say that it is dicipline and not tan adult taking out their frustrations as one of the previous posters had stated. I truly believe that if there were less parents afraid of the state and more of them took the time to use dicipline, there would be far less unrulely young people in this world not to mention a much lower crime rate.


Posted by: daybreakdove

I don't beat my kids. Although, I do admit there are times when I have felt like it!!! I do discipline and spank them. I do not care how old they are--they need to learn good manners and respect. I am looking forward to the teenage years being over though. Hormones have taken over their brain cells at this time!!!!


Anyways, glad for your reply. It is always nice to hear another persons point of view.

Daybreakdove


Posted by: Ragamuffin

I read through most of the postings on spanking, seems we cover every spectrum. My parents divorced when I was 3 - so my mother raised us entirely on her own. My mother came from Germany when she was 18, and she raised the 4 of us as she was raised, and let me tell you, she never spared the rod, nor did my Opa (Grandfather) when I was in Germany and he thought I had done something wrong. That was a different generation though, and I think that what my mother did to me is certainly child abuse by today's standards. She taught me how to disengage, I don't know how that helps in life... My mother beat all of us, with whatever she could grab, and to this day when she is angry she becomes silent, you know the silence that is deafening? And I still duck when I walk past her. That upsets her. My kids know how I was raised, just as they know what my brother did to me (each to their own level of understanding) - and it was an explaining that was necessary following a very loud outburst I had on the phone after receiving an evil email from the brother that hurt me and my mother said she knew how I felt to which I responded, well, not positively...and rather loud. Anyway, what my kids also know is that if a spanking is coming their way because of disobedience, they will know because I give them fair warning. I give myself a time out so as to not hit them with a high level of anger within me, and I always go back afterwards to talk about what happened and why things turned out the way they did. The question was asked if Jesus would spank of he were here today. Well, Solomon asked for wisdom and wrote to spare the rod is to spoil the child, that came from God the Father, so I think God the Son would follow His own words, but then again, perhaps because He is God, He would do a much better job of getting kids to respect Him...but then, is that really how the world is today? Do we literally get spankings from God? No, not literally, but we certainly do suffer the consequences that are allowed to happen because God wants us broken before Him, so He can restore us according to His will.
Over dinner last week when my family and my mother were out at a restaurant celebrating my oldest's birthday, my mother brought up that my youngest son had upset her because he spoke to her about how he knew she had spanked me when I was growing up and how I had promised my 3 children I would never do that to them. She said that he (my 7 year old) hurt her feelings, and that I had hurt her feelings by allowing them to think she spanked me hard. I was in a tough spot, but I answered her. I told her she DID spank me when I was growing up, and my mother simply responded with the comment that my brothers had it worse and then got up to use the restroom. I will be 37 soon, and standing up to my mother that evening in such a tiny little way, was monumental to me, and her response cut me to the quick. Did I have it better because my brothers had it worse? No, we all had it bad and I hurt for my brothers, because that could explain a lot about our family and the lack of connection we all have. Anyway, my mother did not bring it up again, the conversation was ended, with her having the last word. So there is another promise I have made to myself and that is that I will always give my children room to speak, I know there will be times that I will need to remind them that I AM the parent and they can do as I do when they are as old as I am, and since that will never happen, they must obey me I don"t know how that will work out but that"s the plan for right now I think that understanding and communicating are key, but this is just my opinion. My son had a great 3rd grade teacher with class rules, and the first rule was "Respect the teacher and the teacher will respect you." so I think that is important too, mutual respect. Anyway, I've written enough.


Posted by: chargirl

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frederik
What do you think is spanking okay ? I read an article written by a guy called Rick Joyner and he thinks that spanking is a good thing to do when you wanna disciple your children. I think no child should be beaten. Joyner uses quotes from the bible which say that God chastens the ones which he loves to support his view.
In Germany beating or spanking your children is forbidden and I totally agree with this law I just can't believe that a christian can beat his children. Jesus would never have beaten a chíld. What is your opinion, do you also spank your children ? I hope not.


You often trade the word "beat" in for the word "spanking". You do realize that there is a difference between spanking and beating, don't you? When I was younger and misbehaved my parents would give me a good swat on the butt. I was even spanked with a belt a few times, however, i was never beaten. Beating someone is hitting some one, and being out of control. when someone is beaten it is often for no reason. Spnking someone is hitting someone on thier rear, for misbehaving, it is very controlled and many parents even put a limit on how many times they spank thier children. It is not wrong to spank your kids as long as they know what they are being spanked for.


Posted by: ChristianGal

The bible also says not to spare the rod. Which my interpretation of that would be not to spare your authority because the rod or staff was a symbol of authority in biblical times. Definately doesn't mean beat your kids with a stick or anything like that.

I have a friend whose children know that there are consequences to their actions because of the way she disciplines them, either with a smack on the bottom or removing their privaleges for a while. This method works because there is a guideline set and she doesn't use her anger in any way to hurt the children. These children are very well mannered and don't seem troubled or traumatised.


Posted by: Soteria777

The Bible is clear on how parents should raise their kids, and this includes spankings! NOT BEATINGS, however.

Wondering if Jesus would spank is irrelevant. Jesus wasn't a parent.

If you wonder what the world would be like if parents raised their children without discipline.........well, open your eyes and look outside!


Posted by: Tara

Gosh. I am such a firm believer in spanking. I am only 28, but I even remember in school, we still had corporal punishment (I was raised down South). When I am blessed with children, I plan to use spanking (mostly as a last resort though).

There is a defintie difference between a spanking ( i.e. a few swats with the hand on the behind) and a beating (i.e. whipping a child with an extension cord until they pass out).