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And her name was Sadness

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Posted by: DespondentSoul

I am sad. It isn't what you would think of as a garden variety sadness. Its like a wound that will not heal. Depression and loneliness are my true friends, because I can always depend on them to return to me, to push the nails into my eyes a little more.

Few of you have ever experience the loneliness that I feel, at this lofty level of intensity. Pray for me please. I am bitter and find people and this world to be repugnant. Everyone is unclean.

Ok. This is a summary of my plight as of now.

I am 28 years old...soon to be 29 this month. I haven't worked in five years because of severe phobias related to my obsessive-compulsive disorder. One of the phobias is the fear of mayonnaise and garbage. I am in therapy now undergoing treatment for these irrational fears.

Since I haven't really had much work experience, I have grave doubts that I will be able to find a job that pays well. I have taken many classes at a local collage...but nothing has become of it. I still have no degree at all, after dropping in and out of college since I was 20. I have been going (off and on) to school for nine years, and I don't even have an associate degree yet. I am worried that I willl not find a nice job for myself. I want a respectable clerical job or paralegal job. I want to be able to be in a position of authority...and I want people to respect me. Please also pray for me to find a good job that pays well.

I have pain in my left upper arm, back, and Shoulder. I cannot raise my left arm. I think I may have strained my muscles. It hurts.

I am alone. Utterly alone. The world is bleak. Lifeless. Where is the beauty in life?

I just met a girl, but now, it seems that she is playing mind games. She is 18 years old. I am sick of games. Games are for little kids. I am a man. I may be unemployed, but I deserve respect from people.

I feel like girls laugh at me when I am not looking. I feel like a loser and a fool.

The worst thing of all is the loneliness.

I have little to show for my life. I want the Lord to bless me with a large sum of money. Specifically, 10,000 dollars. I don't deserve the money, but it would be awesome if I had it.

I want God to prepare a feast before my enemies. But what sort of expectations should I have? I imagine one day....that I see my former girlfriend who left me....and I am wearing an expensive suit and driving a new car that shines like a lighthouse....and I am with a beautiful woman. To me, that is a feast. Maybe I misunderstand its meaning?

Do you ever feel sick and tired of life? Sometimes I do. I wonder if its worth it. To be dead would be easier. I would quickly kill myself if God and my Mom gave me permission to do so. I do not want to live like this anymore. I want to be wealthy, respected, and loved. But with my arms oustretched, my hands touch nothing.

Please pray for me. Thank you so much.


Posted by: Mirajer29

Dear Heavenly Father I come to you right now for your son. The devil has sure filled his head with a bunch of lies, which is what he does Lord. and I rebuke him now in the name of Jesus. Devil you have no authority what so ever over this man's life. You are a liar and the father of it and the Lord Jesus is stronger and mightier then any evil thing could ever be. Jesus in your precious name I pray that you restore this man's self esteem Dear JEsus in the name of Jesus and his relationship with you. Lord GOD help him to see that if he seeks you first that you will give him all the desires of his heart according to your riches and glories. Dear Jesus every negative thought I cast down now in the name of Jesus believing for deliverance from depression, and doubt now in the name of Jesus. I ask for love, peace, financial blessings, and faith Lord GOD. Faith in you now and forever in the name of Jesus. ALso Lord JEsus, deliver him from bitterness and pain of those who have hurt him the past, help him to have forgiveness for them and walk with his head high because he does belong to you Jesus. I cast out the thought of ending his life now in the name of Jesus because you DO Have a PROSPEROUS Future for him, if he seeks you and I am praying now in the name of Jesus for this to happen for him GOD. Whatever the devil makes for bad JEsus, you make for GOD and I thank you for this. Please GOD begin with him feeling your love and forgiveness for him and accepting you into his heart Jesus, open the door for a great job Jesus and deliver him from every demonic,ungodly feeling now and forever in the name of Jesus. Teach him Lord, and fill him like only you can and I thank you for doing this GOD and wanting to do it now in Jesus mighty precious beautiful loving name I pray and I thank you for this Jesus.

We love you Jesus. I love you Jesus.

Amen and Amen!!


Posted by: Kari

Dear Lord Jesus, PLEASE open this man's eyes to the true beauty of what You are all about. Humble him before You Lord. Take the blinders of pride and greed off his eyes. Heal him of his emotional bondage. Lord, I ask that You work in this man's heart and get him in line with your will for his life. I pray your mighty works upon his very soul my most precious Lord. In Jesus name we pray, Amen





Posted by: tay

My friend,
Your priorites are set on worldly things, not Godly things. Here's the truth about those wordly things. Beautiful women age, cars break down, cash runs out and expensive suits get stained. None are perfect beyond the first time we use them or see them. Jesus remains perfect, now and forever. I pray that He softens your heart toward Him and shows you the reality of life which is seeking His will. Taylor