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prayer is desperately needed over adoption dispute

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Posted by: pnkvintagerocker

I'll start by saying my name is Rachel Lynn Strickland. I am seventeen years old and am going into my senior year of high school at Lake Gibson High School in Lakeland, FL. In late February, I found out I was five months pregnant. The father of the baby and I have had no contact since I have been pregnant. He is 22 years old and had been in and out of jail for the past two years. He says he is through with I ended the "relationship" after only a month because it was destroying my relationship with my parents and with God (I say "relationship" because it was a casual thing that happened only four times). I thought that since I chose to end my ties with him, I would be okay, but I obviously wasn't. I chose to place the baby for adoption with Bethany Christian Services. Here's what happened recently and the reason I am sending this email:

I wasn't due until July 6, but my water broke Sunday morning (06/15). I was in labor for 22 hours, on Pitocin for 18 hours, and was only dilated 4 cms in that time. They decided to do a C-Section because my water had broken before I ever got any contractions, so I had "failure to progress." The baby was born at 8:50 AM on Monday, 06/16. He was 6 lbs. 14 oz. and 19 3/4" long. He was so beautiful and precious and it was hard for me to believe that he had been inside of me for eight months. The birthfather and I have not been involved with each other or had contact with each other since I got pregnant. I found out I was pregnant in my fifth month (end of February). I contacted Bethany right away to place. They began trying to contact the birthfather, but he was in jail from 02/07 - 04/07 (due to multiple times of driving with a suspended license) so he didn't find out until early May. The birthfather came on Wednesday morning, 06/18, to see the baby with Bethany's birth parent counselor and Bethany's adoptive parent counselor. He came with the intent to sign. The previous night (Tuesday) he said he was 90% sure he would sign the next day. He left Wednesday without signing, saying he needed more time to think and he would meet my birth parent counselor at the hospital at 10 AM the next day - Thursday, 06/19 - with his decision, but he was still 90% sure he would sign. He never showed up at the hospital Thursday morning. My birth parent counselor waited an hour and a half at their designated meeting place, but he never showed. Bethany here in Florida has been documenting all of this so that they can use this info at the court hearing to terminate his parental rights. I was going to be discharged from the hospital Thursday, and so was the baby (and we were), and the birthfather knew that if he didn't sign the papers, the baby would be put in Cradle Care instead of going home with the wonderful, God-sent family I chose for my baby boy. Cradle Care is a better word for foster care, and this foster home is hand picked, supervised, and screened by Bethany, a Christian organization. He has met the adoptive family and says that they are great people. After waiting for two hours, my birth parent counselor went with the adoptive parent counselor to the birth father's work -- he wasn't there -- and to his home address, where they found him there alone. He moves between homes frequently. He does not have a place of his own. He said he wanted to know his legal rights, was still 90% sure he would sign still, but wanted to think about it some more. He's pretty much given everyone his answer, that he's not going to sign. While he was telling them that, he said his father was at a lawyers office getting the birth father's rights. Without going too into detail about that situation, I'll simply say his father is the only one who is oppositional about placing the baby, when it is not his decision. I went ahead and signed my rights to the baby away, so he is now in Cradle Care. Now this is all just a waiting game. The birth father will be server with papers saying that his legal rights are being challenged. He has 20 days to respond to the papers, if he does not respond, then there will be a court hearing, if he does not show-up for that, then his rights will be signed away by a judge. In that time, though, my baby will sit in the foster care house. The soonest that this will be settled in the very end of July, that is if he doesn't sign.

Please, please, pray. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!!!!!! Pray for the adoptive parents and my child, and the birth father to understand this is the best thing for the baby. I have three people on my mind daily, the adoptive parents - David and Juli - and my son - Logan Reid Strickland. My hearts deeply go out to David and Juli because this is their third try to adopt with Bethany, and they've never gotten this far along in the process. They are putting their hearts out there to get this baby and I just feel for them so much. I've met with them on several occasions, and so have my parents -- who are 100% supportive of adoption -- and I've formed a bond with the two of them. We have an open adoption where I get to see Logan when I want to and I get updates and pictures every 3 months. The hard thing for my parents and David & Juli and myself with this is that we do not know who the people are at the Cradle Care. I've grieved over little Logan and in my minds he is now David and Juli's. If Nick fights for his rights, then I won't have a bond with my child, and it is not fair to him at all. He won't be a wanted thing here. He'll be loved no doubt, but he'd just have to be "fit in" to everyone's life, and it's not fair to him. I have admitted my sins and asked for forgiveness from God. I am a Christian who made a mistake and got the bigger punishment than what most others get when they make the same decision. I believed I made the right choice by placing him up for adoption, and I don't doubt that decision yet. There is a huge support system for me here. My entire church and more are praying for Nick - the birth father -- to get it through his head that this is the right decision. My parents are members and I attend Grace Church in Lakeland, FL. It is a non-denominational church. Any extra prayer would be greatly appreciated. I am so adamant about placing Logan with David and Juli and I just can't say it enough that this is the best thing for the baby. Thank you in advance for your prayer. Prayer in numbers praying for the same thing is the best thing for now and is all that can be done at this time. Thank you also for taking the time to read my very lengthy email.