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I want to quit

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Posted by: talena

Jerry, I love this site and love all the members. But, I am no good to anyone anymore. I can't even pray anymore. I used to make lists of all the requests, but when the site grew I printed them off and would post when I could. Now, I just dont' even "want" to anymore. Well, deep inside I want to, but I guess now I just dont want to care. BUT I DO care! I don't know what I am trying to say...maybe you do.

Anyway, I need answers. I have listened to your sermons, and I loved them. And they encouraged me in many ways. But, I REALLY need some help. I am the type of person that responds best to bluntness and criticism. I appreciate candor, and hate it when people beat around the bush. In other words, I am more motivated when someone is stepping on my toes. I never liked being patted on the back for trying...I wanted someone to stand face to face with me and tell me in detail EVERYTHING that I did wrong. I needed that in order not to repeat the same mistakes over again.

So, can you PLEASE help me?

I have done all that I know to do. I have prayed, fasted, read and studied His Word...shared it, attended church, tithed. I have made sacrifices. But, I did not do this for me, not for healing, but because I love Him with ALL my heart.

I want to be healed. Could you please tell me what else I need to do? I will not pray for patience .

I know you may say "God's timing", but I may be running out of time. The desire of my heart is to walk in my call, to be a wife, and most of all a mother. I want to have that future that He promised me in Jeremiah 29:11. I want to be healthy for my "future husband and children". I do not want to be a burden to my family anymore.

I want EVERYTHING to be healed. I want to be a whole woman, inside and out. Tell me how I can do this. What do I need to fix on the inside to make the outside whole? Maybe God will tell you so you can tell me.

I need this. I am feeling so much anger, which I am fighting. I am feeling ugly physically, and I don't want to get that way spiritually. I want to NEVER have to take anymore pills or shots for as long as I live. I want my energy back. I want my life back. I want to feel like I am needed, and not like I am a burden.


Posted by: ANOINTED WARRIOR

(((HUGS))) Let Jesus hug you now


Posted by: Annie7

Sister in Christ,
You are under the attack of Satan because you have been praying for others which is doing a work in Christ!
Satan is trying to take you down because of your labor of love in praying for other people.
He knows prayer causes things of God to take place and he will try to destroy you so you can't go on.
In Jesus' name, I and all the other prayers, command Satan to leave you!
Jesus will take care of you and heal you-please don't ever doubt Him because as the Bible says "what good is it to gain the whole world and lose your soul?"
Take care and God Bless!


Posted by: talena

You know what, Joshua posted this:

http://www.annointed.net/Community/...70193#post70193

exactly what I needed to hear, only an hour after I created this thread.

Something that I know for a fact is, in the silence of the heart God speaks. My life has been so chaotic lately that I have had little time to "be still and know that He is God."

Please forgive me for my public displays of chaos.


Posted by: JeriRose12

WOW!!! That word fits exactly what I was going to tell you!!!:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
in the light of His glory and grace!

and:

Where could I go?
Where could I go?
Where could I go but to the Lord?
Needing a freind
to help me in the end
Where could I go
but to the Lord


It sounds pat, but it's not. It's the only answer. When we focus on Jesus, fall in love with Him, get touched by His glory....He will do the miracles, as we are enraptured with Him.

I had to learn this through some difficult circumstances. A friend of mine killed someone and is now in jail, on top of all the other stuff going on. The night I heard the news was my Birthday, but God has truly upheld me through this by helping me to focus on Him. I became more determined than EVER to press into God and seek His glory after that incident, because I knew Satan wanted to use it to deter me from that goal.

I know it's hard, Sis. But I itch all the time, too (don't know why.) I am achey and sore all the time, not to mention constantly tired. I am 42 and single, no man in sight (except in a vision of him). Having children at my age....? I have stood twnety years to be married to God's choice for me. I have stood at least fifteen for my healing. One of the men I passed by is the one now in jail. God protected me there! And I told God I would be in pain 24/7 if it meant I could reach and impact people by sitting here typing prayers for them. The prayer of relinquishment, I guess. I just had/have to put all these situations in God's hands.

So don't give up; don't dispair (I tried to do both along the way, and just a week ago, I was trying to quit. Didn't know how. ) Since you don't mind a "tough" word: Get your eyes on Jesus! Get your eyes off the problem! I have been where you are: depressed, disparing that nothing would ever come of my hopes and dreams. But, lately, I have literally had to drag my eyes off the problem and put them back on Jesus.

Get away and alone with Jesus, as was said above. Seek HIM!!! He is the true reward and prize to be gained. Run the race to win HIM!!! When you get lost in HIS embrace and gaze, none of these things can move you. Don't go for IT; go for HIM!!! None of these things you want and pray for can compare to gaining the prize of Jesus!!!

I love You and am praying for your encouragement,

~JeriRose~
Seeking HIS Glory in 2004


To sign up to pray for a Christian artist/group/band you will pray for daily:
http://www.annointed.net/Community/...ead.php?t=17276

Pray for the persecuted church: http://www.annointed.net/Community/...ead.php?t=17692


Posted by: Dewheart

I got Dr. Creflo Dollars February letter to his partners and it so encouraged me, as I know how you feel Talena. I would like to share his encouraging words as I believe they may inspire us all.

'From the Desk of Dr. Creflo A. Dollar

It is my sincere prayer that you are walking in the fullness of God's love and abounding in his favor!

Did you know that the anointing is available to every believer and that it is an absolute necessity for those who plan to live victoriously in these last days? Jesus is not returning for a church that is enslaved to debt, sickness or lack. He is returning for a church that operates unhindered and empowered through His anointing-because nothing else will do.

I want to share with you some thoughts from God's Word that I believe will help you to begin walking in the fullness of His power. In these last days, it is going to take supernatural strength to survive. None of us have enough strength in our own natural ability to live victoriously as God intends. The good news, however, is that we have an inexhaustible supply of strength and power residing inside of us through the anointing.

Read Philippians 4:13. Rather than using the word Christ in this Scripture, replace it with its original meaning from the Greek: "the Anointed One and His Anointing." The scripture then reads, "I can do all things through (the Anointed One and His Anointing) which strengtheneth me." Understand that the anointing empowers you to do all things. This verse is even more exciting when you read it in The Amplified Bible: "I have strength for all things in (the Anointed One and His Anointing) Who empowers me (I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in (the Anointed One and His Anointing's) sufficiency." This makes it clear that you should not look to some outside source for strength; instead, look within-the anointing is in you.

Second Peter 1:3 tells us that we have been given everything that pertains to life and godliness. Whatever you need to get to the finish line is inside you. However, it's not enough to have the power in you. For it to do you any good, you must KNOW that it's there to access it. I can deposit a million dollars into your bank account, but you will still go on living the same way if you don't know the money is there. You must be aware of its existence to have access to it. When you became born again, God made a deposit in you. He put the very thing in you that equips you to be healed, remain safe, keep your marriage together, keep your children in God's will and prosper you in every way. That deposit is the ANOINTING!

It's one thing to know that a deposit has been made to your account, and it's another to know how to make a withdrawal. The key to accessing the anointing is found in Ephesians 3:16-17: "That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; That (the Anointed One and His Anointing) may dwell in your hearts by faith...." Faith is your withdrawl slip! The strength and might that dwells within you dwells there by faith.

If you lack faith in the presence and power of the anointing, you are living without expectation. Expectancy is a major key to seeing the anointing flow and work to remove burdens and destroy yokes. When trouble comes, you need to have rock-solid confidence that the anointing is there and that it is more than enough to get you through. Think of it as your being "anointing-inside minded." Having that mindset gives you the power to look at a mountain of debt and know that it can be paid off and destroyed forever!

Now that you realize that the anointing dwells in your heart by faith, let me show you the end result of operating in the anointing. According to Ephesians 3:17-19, when the anointing within you works by faith, you are better able to understand the love of Christ. When that happens, you become filled with God's fullness. To be filled with God Himself and to have complete comprehension of His love for you-what a powerful thing!

The anointing enables you to do everything God has ordained for you to do. It leads you to your final destination-heaven. But God's plan for you is much more that that. Your ultimate destiny is to arrive there already living in victory, fully conformed to the image of the Anointed One-free from yokes and burdens, exercising your dominion over Satan and completely filled with God's fullness and love.

Decide right now to yield to the power of the anointing, and prepare yourself to experience supernatural progress in every area of your life!

Taffi and I have you in our prayers. We agree that God will increase you more and more as you step out to obey Him. Remember Jesus is Lord, and "...in all of your getting, get understanding."

Love, Creflo A Dollar'
(I have reprinted this without Dr. Dollars' permission. Please forgive me.)

May God bless and *S*T*R*E*N*G*T*H*E*N* us all! Amen!


Posted by: talena

[QUOTE=Dewheart]

If you lack faith in the presence and power of the anointing, you are living without expectation. Expectancy is a major key to seeing the anointing flow and work to remove burdens and destroy yokes. When trouble comes, you need to have rock-solid confidence that the anointing is there and that it is more than enough to get you through. Think of it as your being "anointing-inside minded." Having that mindset gives you the power to look at a mountain of debt and know that it can be paid off and destroyed forever!

Decide right now to yield to the pwer of the anointing, and prepare yourself to experience supernatural progress in every area of your life!

QUOTE]

I love Creflo Dollar and I thank you so much for your support. I think that my problem is not that I don't know how to yield to the power of the anointing, but rather the fact that when my life gets chaotic I panic. I run around like a "chicken with my head cut off" praying, fasting, studying, etc. None of that benefits me if I do not take the time to be still and know that He is God. If I don't bother to slow down enough to listen to Him, then I am doing myself no good.

I do not lack faith. I do have expectancy. I think that I am just more frustrated with the symptoms and the medicines than anything else. If I could take myself off the meds and have little or no symptoms I would be good to go...God could take years to heal me with no complaints from me. I just want the symptoms to go and the sickness/weakness from the meds to disappear.

Even now I am tired from pain and lack of sleep, and they will probably have to increase my dosage of medication to help me there. I will need something stronger as I think my body has gotten immune to the meds I have been taking. I dont want stronger medicine, I dont want MORE medicine.


Posted by: Dewheart

'And now these three remain: FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE. But the greatest of these is LOVE.' 1 Corinthians 13:13


Posted by: JeriRose12

I like what you said here, Talena. About fasting, praying, reading Bible, etc. and none of it works. That's because we have to LET GO AND LET GOD. We are often doing this in the flesh, becasue God didn't call us to do it. A lot of our trying to get someone saved (as my brother-in-law) is praying, hard, thinking by are long, loud, desparate prayers we will move God. And, yes "crying out" is Biblical....but we think the strength of our prayers will get it done. Well, what God finally got through to me was that are prayers CAN NOT do it. Only God can. He told me in 2004 we are to seek HIM, not the anwswer to the prayer. HE IS THE ANSWER!!! As we focus on HIM and come into His glory, He will perform the miracles. We will not be focused on the problem, just in wonderful fellowhsip and communion with Him. And when we get done loving on Him and having Him loving us back, we will look and the miracle will be done. We are going to see miracles flow, as we get into His presence and stay there 24/7.

Really gotta go (church).

~JeriRose~
Seeking HIS Glory in 2004


Posted by: david arroyo

Talena, I think that one of our problems is that we are afraid to REALLY tell God how we feel. We always feel like we have to be religious. God hates religion and He hates pretension. Tell Him exactly how you feel. Scream, kick, hit(something soft) whatever it takes to release the pent up emotions.

He already knows whats in the heart so we might as well release it to Him. Afterwards, He will remove the anger and rage, He will show us where we are believing lies. He is big enough and loving enough to handle us.

Look at the Psalms and the book of Job. These men were brutally honest with how they felt but they expressed their emotions in the presence of God and they did not turn in spite of the hell inside them. Eventually, God turned the tide and blessed them beyond imagination and they came out the other side with a REAL REVELATION OF GODS MERCY AND LOVE.

I loved your post because God is creating an authentic woman of God out of you, never feel like you must be religious in the presence of the Lord.


Posted by: talena

It is funny that you should say that, David. I hate religion myself. It is ironic that when it comes to receiving my healing that my relationship with God turns FROM a relationship into something so "systematic". How do I need to pray now? How many times? What should I study? When before I always allowed the Spirit to lead me. I suppose that I thought since this issue was serious that I needed to be serious. I guess I thought I needed religion. I hated religion before never practiced it, and this is what I got...you know?

What you and Jerirose have said makes a lot of sense.

thank you


Posted by: ANOINTED WARRIOR

Quote:
Originally Posted by david arroyo
Talena, I think that one of our problems is that we are afraid to REALLY tell God how we feel. We always feel like we have to be religious. God hates religion and He hates pretension. Tell Him exactly how you feel. Scream, kick, hit(something soft) whatever it takes to release the pent up emotions.

He already knows whats in the heart so we might as well release it to Him. Afterwards, He will remove the anger and rage, He will show us where we are believing lies. He is big enough and loving enough to handle us.

Look at the Psalms and the book of Job. These men were brutally honest with how they felt but they expressed their emotions in the presence of God and they did not turn in spite of the hell inside them. Eventually, God turned the tide and blessed them beyond imagination and they came out the other side with a REAL REVELATION OF GODS MERCY AND LOVE.

I loved your post because God is creating an authentic woman of God out of you, never feel like you must be religious in the presence of the Lord.

good post exactly amen and amen, Is wierd I was just talking to God last night about this, how we think he is made of glass and if we let out what we think or feel to him that he will break and cant take it, but he can handle whatever we bring to him thats why he is are daddy and God, amen david good stuff God bless


Posted by: CoDErnie

Talena, don't give up! Just the fact that you are bold enough to let let your feelings be known is a blessing to me. I am suppose to be out of my house tomorrow, and have been crying out to God. Yesterday Feb. 7th I told the Lord I felt dry inside, but I am not giving up. Remember this, Jesus asked his disciples if they would leave Him, and Peter said, Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. I am willing to stand with you in agreement that we are coming out of this test and trial of our faith, and we will serve the Lord no matter what, because we have no where else to go. He is our life! Be encouraged with this, He knows the way that I take, when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold (Job 23:10). Our victory is just on the other side of this breakthrough, but we must press in. Even Jesus said the knigdom of God suffereth violence, but the violent take it by force. We must press toward the high calling of God, and that is the reason for the attack, but we will not be defeated if we hold fast to our confession of faith. Please join with me and don't give up. I say this with tears that I am a 3 time prodigal, and have suffered much, but I finally laid down my whole life when I went back to jail on Nov. 22, 2003. It was 19 of the hardest days I ever did, but God revealed His goodness, which broke me and lead me to repentance. Now I am being tested so strongly, I wanted to give up like you, but I can't. The only thing left would be to return to the world, and I did that three times already, and almost considered suicide last time. God rescueded me from destruction, just like He said in Psalm 107:20. Humble yourself before the Lord and cry out for His presence and anointing on your life, and don't quit until He gives you the desire of your heart. You are a blessing, and it is so good to hear you shoot from the heart. Please hear me, I am telling you like it is. You are a blessing to God, or the enemy wouldn't be fighting you so hard. I pray God will strengthen you and encourage you, but remember, David had to encourage himself in the Lord in 1 Samuel 30:6, because the people wanted to stone him. Sometimes we must fight through every obstacle the enemy puts up, and go against our flesh and feelings of discouragement. I am doing that now, even as I write this. I encourage you to spend time praising the Lord, and ask Him to reveal His goodness to you. It will overwhelm you! God bless you and comfort you, and give you wisdom. PLEASE do not give up, the body of Christ need you! There is a part of this body only you can fill, nobody else. If you press in, you will see the glory of God!