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God Please Save Him
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Posted by: wiseokc
Hello to everyone and God Bless all. This is a long story and I pray that God moves you to read this and join in agreement with me in prayer for Vincent Wise. He is now my former husband and the father of my three children, girl/boy twins named Kiana and Tristan almost age 7 years and a son named Takota almost age 6 years. Here is the story...
Vincent was the love of my life, still is. Times were rough early in our relationship as he had a drug and alcohol problem and was physically and emotionally abusive to me. But, I loved him with all my heart and so I stayed by his side. on August 4, 1996 we gave birth to 8 week premature twins, a girl named Kiana who weighed 3 pounds 6 ounces and a boy named Tristan who weighed 4 pounds 1 ounce. We were told by the doctors that the babies would probably not be able to breath on their own and they had a helicopter waiting on top of the hospital to fly them to a more specialized hospital after delivery. But, I prayed for the month that I was in the hospital before their birth that God would prove his goodness to me by delivering the babies healthy. God showed his love and faithfulness as both babies were able to breath on their own as soon as they entered the world, to the astonishment of the doctors, because the only thing wrong with the babies was that they were born too young to have the suck reflex so they had to be tube fed and stay in the hospital for 19 days until they could eat on their own and then they went home. They went home tiny but perfectly healthy, Praise God. Now they are turning 7 years old this August 4th and you wouldn't know by meeting them that they ever entered the world so tiny and early, they are normal healthy kids.
Things went well for a long time and we had another son, Takota, on July 14, 1997 and our family was complete and happy. Shortly after Takota's birth Vincent got into the drinking and drugs again and the abuse again started. He beat me on my birthday in front of his family and friends and they quickly got me out of the house and to his mother's home. The babies were asleep and they were going back for them when Vincent called his mother's home and said, "I set fire to the house and I'm letting it burn down, if you want the babies to live someone had better come and get them now, I'm not saving them." Immediately about six men went to our home, pushed Vincent out of the way, grabbed the babies from their cribs and got them out of the house and put the fire out, only minimal damage happened to our livingroom. The beatings continued as did his drug and alcohol abuse and I strayed away from God and had an affair. We split up for 3 weeks and during that time Vincent was saved and baptised and started attending church praying for God to reunite our family. When we got back together I was saved and baptised and we started attending church on a regular basis and serving the Lord. Vincent cleaned up and no longer used drugs or alcohol and the beatings stopped. He was the model of a Christian husband. At our church's Valentine's Dinner he stood up and gave a speech in front of the congregation on how much he loved his wife, me. Our relationship with God was our first priority and our family was whole and healed.
A few months later I strayed away from church attendance and Vincent followed my footsteps saying that I was his strength in staying close to God. He started drinking again and using drugs and this time I joined him. The abuse again started. I was taking Xanax on a daily basis and smoking marijuana to handle life. We both lost our jobs and were on unemployment. Vincent found a new job but the shop was infested with Meth (Crank) and he fell into the Meth addiction. In July 2001, he beat me horribly in front of the children with a baseball bat. I stayed but only long enough to find a way out of our marriage as I was scared of him. In October 2001, I waited until Vincent left for work and I packed up the kids and moved 2 hours away to another's man's home. Vincent tried for about 3 weeks to get us back but I told him that I needed to see proof that he wasn't using drugs first as I had cleaned up my life and was no longer using drugs. Then he stopped calling because he moved in with a woman named Lisa. Lisa is an alcoholic and a drug user herself. on January 1, 2002, Vincent was arrested for possession of marijuana and cocaine and intent to distribute on both charges. He was sentenced to 5 years probation and set free. I spoke to him in April 2002, and he told me that he didn't want anything to do with our children. All that I could do was pray and pray for him.
God started to reward me for my faith and in the summer of 2002 I was made the first female pressman in USA history on a shaftless printing press making more than enough money to support the children and I. I met a preacher who worked with me and he and I started to pray daily together for Vincent. In July 2002 Vincent was arrested for DUI and six violations of probation. He spent the next month in the county jail and during that time I contacted our former church and they sent the pastor to speak to him, I put Vincent on many prayer chains, I sent Vincent bible verses daily and long letters telling him how much I still loved him and that I wanted to put our marriage back together even though the divorce was already final. I didn't receive one letter from Vincent yet in the mail, but God led me to drive 2 hours to see him in the jail and I took our daughter with me. He had told me that he no longer wanted to be with Lisa, that he wanted to clean his life up, that he still loved me and the kids, and then we decided to reconcile our marriage. I bailed him out of jail and got him an attorney and he moved to my home two hours away. Things went good for the first week or so and I even admitted to Vincent that I had two affairs on him when I was strung out of the drugs and that I felt that God wanted me to come clean to him about them so that we could start anew. After Vincent and I were together for three weeks he told me that he still loved Lisa and that he was leaving me and moving back home to be with her...
I was devastated and jumped into another relationship with a man 15 years older than me and we married 2 weeks later. But, my longing for Vincent increased with each passing day. Now, almost a year later my new husband and I have quit our jobs and moved back to my home and we live only 2 miles from Vincent. I got back into contact with Vincent's brother and started letting him to see the children and I have been praying a lot. Yesterday, Vincent's mother called me, the first time that she has since we split up and asked how the children and I were doing and I went and visited her yesteray evening. I was told that when I was at her home last week visiting Vincent's brother with the kids that 10 minutes after we left Vincent showed up, we missed him by 10 minutes. His family told me how strung out on drugs he is again and how all he does in drink and doesn't work ( I closed the child support case against him last week so that he would have an incentive to work and clean his life up for himself). His mother said how they are about to revoke his probation again and he will go to jail. I told her how I regret everyday giving up on our marriage and that I am still deeply in love with him. His brother had told me how he was very happy with Lisa and her children and that he didn't want anything to do with me or our children. Yet, his mother told me that he wants to see the kids but that he is ashamed to do so. I told her how I know my limits and that is that I can't be around that girl Lisa that he is with because she is a bad alcoholic and has a very foul mouth and that I didn't want to get into it with her but that I would love to meet just Vincent at her home so that he could see the children.
Now comes today and all that I can do is pray and put this situation in God's hands. I pray for God to restore our family and our marriage. My new husband is supportive as he understands how deep my love still is for Vincent. But, most importantly I pray that God will heal Vincent of his addictions and restore his relationship with our children. Please pray for us and believe with me for Vincent's healing and renewed faithfulness to God.
Posted by: JeriRose12
I want to see Vincent saved. But how will leaving your current husband be any sort of witness to him? If an unbelieving husband leaves you, you are no longer bound to him. Now you are married to a believer (or is he?)--and according to God's Word you must stay with him:
Keep Your Marriage Vows
10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.
12But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
The only Biblical grounds for divorce is adultry. If your new husband has not done that, you can not leave him.
Furthermore it has been said, "Whoever divorces his wife, let him giver her a certificate of divorce." [Jesus referring to Old Testement law] But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason, except sexual immoratlity causes her to commit adultry, and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultry. Matthew 5:31-32
This is not what you wanted to hear, since you are trying to get back with Vincent. But think about it--Vincent has been bad news all along, and now you are with a believer. So why would you rip apart the new marriage, when you have no guarantees that Vincent will even change? Didn't he promise to before? I am not saying he can't, and I pray he will. But I still see no way in God's eyes that it is right for you to break up the current marriage for him. If you are feeling this attatached to him, I would be going to a recovery group to find out why. The Bible says once you are a Christian, old things are passed away. What you did in the past (i.e. you left Vicent, which you now think is wrong) is under the blood, washed away and forgiven. You can not go back and try to fix that now that you have a new marriage. You took your new marriage vows as a Christian and need to uphold them. What else can I say? It is not a soft message, but it's God's word.
I truly can not encourage you enough to find a good recovery group. There you can learn why you keep gravitating back to Vincent, and how you can break that co-dependency. By his actions (as reported by his mother), Vincent is not showing any sort of love or respect for you. So what is driving you to wan to be with him? At recovery group (I go to one), you can find out how to change the feeling you need a man like this.
I am praying Vincent is saved.
JeriRose