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Originally Posted by nmccannon
I am in desperate need of prayer. I need the Lord to help me find my direction. I have been married for only 1 1/2 years. I kind of knew before I got married that my husband had a drug problem. It had never been brought out in the open, but now that I look back, I think I knew. I married him anyway because he was the love of my life. At our wedding he could hardly keep his eyes open, and on our honeymoon he stayed in the bed the whole time because he was too scared to take his drugs on the plane, so he had ran out. He kept going to the infirmary on the cruise ship to get shots of Demerol, claiming that he had a kidney stone. I spent the whole honeymoon alone. A few months went by and the drug thing was getting out of hand. He started lying alot, stealing from his father's business, and lying about where he was all the time. I finally went to his parents after we had been married only 2 months. His family is the type that thinks they can handle all the problems themselves. So they tried to detox him at home...that lasted about a week and he was back to the usual. I threatened to leave, and he begged me to stay. Four months later I had had all I could stand again, went to his parents, again, and they put him in a outpatient drug program. I don't know what they thought that would do, he would leave there & go get drugs. After 6 weeks of that, I tried to be strong & tell him how proud I was of him going and trying to get clean. That didn't work. I threatened to leave again, but didn't. The lies just kept buliding and building. In October 2003, I had had it again, went to his parents yet another time. They ignored the problem. They wanted to believe that he was ok. Until they found out that he had stolen a very large sum of money from them. Suddenly they wanted to help. We sent him to Tennessee to a rehab hospital. He stayed there for 45 days. I went to see him every 2 weeks. I had all the household responsibilities on me while he was gone. His parents gave me no financial help. Had it not been for my sister, I don't know what I would have done. When he came home, everything was great. He went to his NA meetings. I really thought my prayers had been answered. In January of this year, it started all over again. Now the biggest problem I have is that he acts like he cares nothing about me. I am home by myself every night of the week. I kid you not. Right now it is 11:37pm where I live, and he's not home. It's been like this for the past 2 months. I tell him I am sick of it, but he doesn't seem to care. He says he loves me very much, but I don't know if that is true. My family is very concerned about me mentally. My nerves stay tore up all the time. I don't worry about where he is anymore. I stopped doing that a long time ago. I pray every night for God to give me the strength & courage I need to go on eveyday. My mom wants me to leave him & come live with her. I need you to pray for me to find my direction. I don't believe that God's plan for me is to sit here by myself everyday and be miserable. I need prayer for my soul. It seems that everyday I get weaker & weaker. I really try to keep my faith up, because I know that God has big plans for me. I need prayer to help me make the decision whether to stay here or leave. Please pray for me and ask God to help lead me in the right direction. Thank you, and praise the Precious Name of the Lord.
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