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Anyone Going Thru The Storm As This?

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Posted by: 1Faith

To All My Praying Friends In Christ, I Thank You So Much For Taking The Time To Read All Of My Post And For Obeying The Spirit To Pray For Me....i Know Prayer Changes Things And Im So Waiting On Mychange To Come.....i Don't Know Quite What Is Going On With Me Anymore....seems The More I Try To Get Closer To God The More Im Attacked....i Feel Sometimes Like Im Just Here Trying And Trying And Looking For God To Be Here With Me....im Trying So Hard Not To Focus On My Problems And Focus On God....i Don't Know What Is God And What Is Not God Anymore, The Word Says "my Sheep Know My Voice" And I Always Have Until Now....

So Much I Believed God Has Shown Me And Spoke To Me About Even In The Things I Wrote In My Journal.... Now I Question Any Of It...i Guess Because Im Seeing Nothing... Again The Word Says "to Walk By Faith Not By Sight"....but I Don't Know If The Things I Believe Is From God So How Can I Keep My Faith In It If Im Not Sure Its God?...i Refused To Be Deceived By The Enemy So Thats Why I Have The Doubts....everything I Believed God Spoke To Me About In My Journal Is All Good Things To Come, And Encouraging Things, And Scriptures, And Things I Need To Do To Fight The Enemy When Im Attacked....i Can't Give Up But I Don't Know What To Hold On To Anymore....

I Don't Know Where My Life Is Headed Or Why So Many Hurtful Things Keep Happening To Me When All I Want Is To Serve God....i Realize God's People Will Be Persecuted And Will Go Thru Pain, But Is There Ever Victory?... Yes I Know It Is For Some... I Feel Left Out Like There Is No Victory For Me....i Just Want To Be Happy And Not Hurt All The Time... Im So Tired Of The Sting I Carry In My Heart And I Ask God How Can You See Your Child In Pain And Not Help?.... Jesus Took On All Our Pain And God Allowed Him So Who Am I?.....so I Just Bear It Just As He Did....

But Times Like Now I Just Wish Sometimes God Would Come To My Rescue....im Feeling Weak Again In My Prayers And Staying Inthe Word Because The Question Comes In Mind What Good Is It Doing Me?..... I Think This Is Just The Way My Life Is Going To Continue Until The Lord Ends My Life....i May Leave This World Not Having That Peace And Happiness And Joy In My Heart I Use To Have.... I Don't Feel There Is A Purpose For Me In This Life.....all The Hopes And Dreams I Believed God Was Going To Give Me, Some Are So Impossible One Would Say," No Way Can It Happen"....but I Know I Serve A God That Does The Impossible.... Yet I Have Doubts Now, Like Im Being Striped Of All The Things I Believed In....

I've Waited So Long, And Waited With The Faith In My Heart Believeing For These Things To Happen....i Have Told So Many People Of My Visions God Has Given Me....why Am I Having The Doubts Now?.... Its Bringing Me Nothing But Sadness To My Heart And Depression Thinking Now I Have Nothing Coming From God And That All This Time I Have Lived With Nothing But A Fantasey...but I Can Live With This And Continue To Serve God... Im Not Serving God To Receive Blessings, But Serving Him Because I Love Him With My Whole Heart And Soul....and If Im Never Happy And Never Have Anything, Then All I Can Do Is Continue To Stay In God And Hold On To Him With What Little I Have....

The Mountains I Have To Continue To Climb And The Storms I Go Thru Is One After The Other, Its Been So Long I Don't Know What It Is To Have A Normal Life Anymore.....my Strength Is In His Word....but I Don't Know If I Have The Endurence To Last Thru All The Battles I Have To Go Thru.... I Get No In Betweens, No Breaks, Just A Straight Battle One After The Other.... God Must Think Im Strong To Take Me Thru All This... But I Feel Like A Weak Puppy About To Die Sometimes....and It Seems Like This Is The Way Of My Life Anymore...like This Is All Im Going To Have Is Storms Thru Out My Life.....

Fighting Satan Everyday Is A Battle Of The Mind And I Have To Stay On Top Other Wise He Will Win.... But Its So Hard And He Fights Me So Much On Things I Believe Is God And What God Has Shown Me, Giving Me Doubts To Where Im Not Sure Anymore....so Please Continue To Pray For Me, And My Son And My Daughter Who Is Blind.....

You May Recall The Story I Posted A Few Weeks Ago On Her In The " Physical Healing" Prayer Section, If Not Please Take The Time To Read It....im Exhausted And Spritually Drained And Don't Know What Is Happening To My Life Anymore....i Can't Give Up.....thank You Again... In Christ... Faith


Posted by: ANOINTED WARRIOR

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1Faith
To All My Praying Friends In Christ, I Thank You So Much For Taking The Time To Read All Of My Post And For Obeying The Spirit To Pray For Me....i Know Prayer Changes Things And Im So Waiting On Mychange To Come.....i Don't Know Quite What Is Going On With Me Anymore....seems The More I Try To Get Closer To God The More Im Attacked....i Feel Sometimes Like Im Just Here Trying And Trying And Looking For God To Be Here With Me....im Trying So Hard Not To Focus On My Problems And Focus On God....i Don't Know What Is God And What Is Not God Anymore, The Word Says "my Sheep Know My Voice" And I Always Have Until Now....

So Much I Believed God Has Shown Me And Spoke To Me About Even In The Things I Wrote In My Journal.... Now I Question Any Of It...i Guess Because Im Seeing Nothing... Again The Word Says "to Walk By Faith Not By Sight"....but I Don't Know If The Things I Believe Is From God So How Can I Keep My Faith In It If Im Not Sure Its God?...i Refused To Be Deceived By The Enemy So Thats Why I Have The Doubts....everything I Believed God Spoke To Me About In My Journal Is All Good Things To Come, And Encouraging Things, And Scriptures, And Things I Need To Do To Fight The Enemy When Im Attacked....i Can't Give Up But I Don't Know What To Hold On To Anymore....

I Don't Know Where My Life Is Headed Or Why So Many Hurtful Things Keep Happening To Me When All I Want Is To Serve God....i Realize God's People Will Be Persecuted And Will Go Thru Pain, But Is There Ever Victory?... Yes I Know It Is For Some... I Feel Left Out Like There Is No Victory For Me....i Just Want To Be Happy And Not Hurt All The Time... Im So Tired Of The Sting I Carry In My Heart And I Ask God How Can You See Your Child In Pain And Not Help?.... Jesus Took On All Our Pain And God Allowed Him So Who Am I?.....so I Just Bear It Just As He Did....

But Times Like Now I Just Wish Sometimes God Would Come To My Rescue....im Feeling Weak Again In My Prayers And Staying Inthe Word Because The Question Comes In Mind What Good Is It Doing Me?..... I Think This Is Just The Way My Life Is Going To Continue Until The Lord Ends My Life....i May Leave This World Not Having That Peace And Happiness And Joy In My Heart I Use To Have.... I Don't Feel There Is A Purpose For Me In This Life.....all The Hopes And Dreams I Believed God Was Going To Give Me, Some Are So Impossible One Would Say," No Way Can It Happen"....but I Know I Serve A God That Does The Impossible.... Yet I Have Doubts Now, Like Im Being Striped Of All The Things I Believed In....

I've Waited So Long, And Waited With The Faith In My Heart Believeing For These Things To Happen....i Have Told So Many People Of My Visions God Has Given Me....why Am I Having The Doubts Now?.... Its Bringing Me Nothing But Sadness To My Heart And Depression Thinking Now I Have Nothing Coming From God And That All This Time I Have Lived With Nothing But A Fantasey...but I Can Live With This And Continue To Serve God... Im Not Serving God To Receive Blessings, But Serving Him Because I Love Him With My Whole Heart And Soul....and If Im Never Happy And Never Have Anything, Then All I Can Do Is Continue To Stay In God And Hold On To Him With What Little I Have....

The Mountains I Have To Continue To Climb And The Storms I Go Thru Is One After The Other, Its Been So Long I Don't Know What It Is To Have A Normal Life Anymore.....my Strength Is In His Word....but I Don't Know If I Have The Endurence To Last Thru All The Battles I Have To Go Thru.... I Get No In Betweens, No Breaks, Just A Straight Battle One After The Other.... God Must Think Im Strong To Take Me Thru All This... But I Feel Like A Weak Puppy About To Die Sometimes....and It Seems Like This Is The Way Of My Life Anymore...like This Is All Im Going To Have Is Storms Thru Out My Life.....

Fighting Satan Everyday Is A Battle Of The Mind And I Have To Stay On Top Other Wise He Will Win.... But Its So Hard And He Fights Me So Much On Things I Believe Is God And What God Has Shown Me, Giving Me Doubts To Where Im Not Sure Anymore....so Please Continue To Pray For Me, And My Son And My Daughter Who Is Blind.....

You May Recall The Story I Posted A Few Weeks Ago On Her In The " Physical Healing" Prayer Section, If Not Please Take The Time To Read It....im Exhausted And Spritually Drained And Don't Know What Is Happening To My Life Anymore....i Can't Give Up.....thank You Again... In Christ... Faith



Colossians 3
15And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].


First of all we can see in the scripture above we are to let the peace which comes from the Holy Spirit rule and act as umpire over all thoughts, questions or whatever this is a discerning tool, not the peace that comes from are emotions but the peace that comes from waiting in prayer then are emotions fade away by waiting on the Lord in prayer.

Jesus is doing the same thing with me do not think what you are going through is strange..

"Think it not strange concerning the fiery trial, but rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory shall be revealed, you may be glad also with exceeding joy" (I Peter 4:12,13).

Think about it if you quit fighting the devil are you really going to lose NO, because if God is for us who can be against us, you really want to know why all the battles we are going through, Jesus is breathing on us in his glory and in result is creating as though a tornado all around us of the sins and stuff of are life, he is sorting out all that is not of him and the only things that are going to remain after the dust of sin settles is going to only be of him, this is why all the confusion because we are looking around and seeing a tornado of are own demises of sin in which Jesus is removing so we must wait on the Lord and simply rest in him as hard as it can be sometimes, Remember God is allowing what is going on in your life for a reason it is for you to finally realize that we need to move only when Jesus tells us to and not to move ahead of his leading ever, when we move ahead of him and his leading we become the targets because we are trying to do it ourselves instead of like we should have been doing waiting to let Jesus lead us into battle or the affairs of are daily lives, we must quit operating this christian life in are strength we can only do it all in Jesus strength.


God Bless


Posted by: sandraB

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1Faith
To All My Praying Friends In Christ, I Thank You So Much For Taking The Time To Read All Of My Post And For Obeying The Spirit To Pray For Me....i Know Prayer Changes Things And Im So Waiting On Mychange To Come.....i Don't Know Quite What Is Going On With Me Anymore....seems The More I Try To Get Closer To God The More Im Attacked....i Feel Sometimes Like Im Just Here Trying And Trying And Looking For God To Be Here With Me....im Trying So Hard Not To Focus On My Problems And Focus On God....i Don't Know What Is God And What Is Not God Anymore, The Word Says "my Sheep Know My Voice" And I Always Have Until Now....

So Much I Believed God Has Shown Me And Spoke To Me About Even In The Things I Wrote In My Journal.... Now I Question Any Of It...i Guess Because Im Seeing Nothing... Again The Word Says "to Walk By Faith Not By Sight"....but I Don't Know If The Things I Believe Is From God So How Can I Keep My Faith In It If Im Not Sure Its God?...i Refused To Be Deceived By The Enemy So Thats Why I Have The Doubts....everything I Believed God Spoke To Me About In My Journal Is All Good Things To Come, And Encouraging Things, And Scriptures, And Things I Need To Do To Fight The Enemy When Im Attacked....i Can't Give Up But I Don't Know What To Hold On To Anymore....

I Don't Know Where My Life Is Headed Or Why So Many Hurtful Things Keep Happening To Me When All I Want Is To Serve God....i Realize God's People Will Be Persecuted And Will Go Thru Pain, But Is There Ever Victory?... Yes I Know It Is For Some... I Feel Left Out Like There Is No Victory For Me....i Just Want To Be Happy And Not Hurt All The Time... Im So Tired Of The Sting I Carry In My Heart And I Ask God How Can You See Your Child In Pain And Not Help?.... Jesus Took On All Our Pain And God Allowed Him So Who Am I?.....so I Just Bear It Just As He Did....

But Times Like Now I Just Wish Sometimes God Would Come To My Rescue....im Feeling Weak Again In My Prayers And Staying Inthe Word Because The Question Comes In Mind What Good Is It Doing Me?..... I Think This Is Just The Way My Life Is Going To Continue Until The Lord Ends My Life....i May Leave This World Not Having That Peace And Happiness And Joy In My Heart I Use To Have.... I Don't Feel There Is A Purpose For Me In This Life.....all The Hopes And Dreams I Believed God Was Going To Give Me, Some Are So Impossible One Would Say," No Way Can It Happen"....but I Know I Serve A God That Does The Impossible.... Yet I Have Doubts Now, Like Im Being Striped Of All The Things I Believed In....

I've Waited So Long, And Waited With The Faith In My Heart Believeing For These Things To Happen....i Have Told So Many People Of My Visions God Has Given Me....why Am I Having The Doubts Now?.... Its Bringing Me Nothing But Sadness To My Heart And Depression Thinking Now I Have Nothing Coming From God And That All This Time I Have Lived With Nothing But A Fantasey...but I Can Live With This And Continue To Serve God... Im Not Serving God To Receive Blessings, But Serving Him Because I Love Him With My Whole Heart And Soul....and If Im Never Happy And Never Have Anything, Then All I Can Do Is Continue To Stay In God And Hold On To Him With What Little I Have....

The Mountains I Have To Continue To Climb And The Storms I Go Thru Is One After The Other, Its Been So Long I Don't Know What It Is To Have A Normal Life Anymore.....my Strength Is In His Word....but I Don't Know If I Have The Endurence To Last Thru All The Battles I Have To Go Thru.... I Get No In Betweens, No Breaks, Just A Straight Battle One After The Other.... God Must Think Im Strong To Take Me Thru All This... But I Feel Like A Weak Puppy About To Die Sometimes....and It Seems Like This Is The Way Of My Life Anymore...like This Is All Im Going To Have Is Storms Thru Out My Life.....

Fighting Satan Everyday Is A Battle Of The Mind And I Have To Stay On Top Other Wise He Will Win.... But Its So Hard And He Fights Me So Much On Things I Believe Is God And What God Has Shown Me, Giving Me Doubts To Where Im Not Sure Anymore....so Please Continue To Pray For Me, And My Son And My Daughter Who Is Blind.....

You May Recall The Story I Posted A Few Weeks Ago On Her In The " Physical Healing" Prayer Section, If Not Please Take The Time To Read It....im Exhausted And Spritually Drained And Don't Know What Is Happening To My Life Anymore....i Can't Give Up.....thank You Again... In Christ... Faith

i just posted something like this on annointed warrior. i feel the same way. it feels the harder i try the worse it gets. and i know god says he wont put on us more than we can bare but i think im at my limit.i just came out of a severe depression but im sinking again.i will still pray for you. i hope god gives you some peace soon. sandra.


Posted by: savesomesorrow

Are level of faith is measured by our level of forgiveness. We cannot be forgiven by God until we forgive those who have offended or tresspassed agains us. try forgiving all those who have hurt you, release them to God and ask Him to put love and forgiveness in your heart. Then you will see things change for you, this is what has happened to me and just a few months ago I sounded just like you. May GOd bless your life and show you what is keeping you from Him. You will be in my prayers.


Posted by: PRAISEGOD

Faith,
All I know to do in times like these is to lean on Him, stand firm, and focus. He will lead you.

May God grant you his peace during this time. God must have wonderful things planned for you.

Hear our prayers o' Lord, and grant us Thy peace. Amen

Bless you.

Linda


Posted by: Debi16

Hi Faith,

After reading your post here, I had to go back and check the name of the poster to make sure I didn't write it. I am serious...you could've read my very mind!!! I also have re-read my journal and all of the promises of God there and questioned every one of them, questioned my faith, my friends attitudes, my very sanity. I have gone over every little breakthrough I've had and wondered if I'm not just imagining things, etc., etc.
Satan has been pummelling me to the point I dreaded my prayer time and wanted to run away from God. I am having to fight SO very hard not to give in to it. I have never been attacked this fiercely and I am one big ball of pain! Satan has told me such horrid lies, I almost started believing them. My one saving grace is the Lord's love and protection. I have always joked "I am allergic to pain", so this has not been a good time for me. But I do have my faith and I know God loves us more than satan could ever harm us. We have to fight the good fight and when we are too weak and weary to go on, we have to just let Jesus carry us and believe He can!
I, too, asked God why if He loves us, does He let us suffer so badly. Gosh, this is so eerie...I, also have believed in what God has told me, to the point I have told everyone, no matter how much they ridicule me, or whatever. We have so many things alike! All I can say is, I don't think this is a coincidence. I think what we believe in our faith is true and satan is terrified of us having our miracle. I believe he is trying everything in his power to get us to take our eyes off of Jesus! A friend told me to rubuke satan every moment of my trials and I think I will see if it helps me through the day. Even if I have to do it several times a minute...I WILL!
I will pray for you and your family. Please stay strong! As difficult as that is to do...nothing worth having is acquired by ease! How big is our God compared to our problems!!!? I know He will not give us more than we can handle (even if it FEELS that way some times)...I just wish He didn't trust us so much!!! God be with you! In Christ,
Debi


Posted by: 1Faith

Hello Debi,

First Let Me Give Thanks And Praise To Our Lord And Savior For This Day, And For You And Everyone That Is Praying For Me....i Can See That From My Writing About My Situation You And Others Are Going Thru Similiar Problems Also....maybe My Post Has Helped Others In Knowing They Too Are Not Alone...it Certainly Is Showing Me Im Not Alone In This...although The Things That Are Going On With Me Are So Deep And Strange And Has No Merit To Any Of It....i'm Just Spiritually Drained And Out Of Gas To Go On In Believing Something That May Or May Not Happen....i Can't Hang On To A Hope That May Not Be Of God....

I Will Never Give Up On God And Will Always Serve Him As First In My Life....but Unless God Shows Me In A Way That I Know It's Him That The Desires Of My Heart Is From Him, I Have To Let It All Go From My Mind.....i Have Forever Had These Dreams And Desires In My Heart And Believed For So Long That This Is What God Wnats For My Life.... I Want Nothing For Me That God Doesn't Want No Matter How Good It May Seem For Me....but When I Release All These Things From My Mind And Heart, I Now Feel Empty And Left With Nothing To Look Forward To.... I Ask Myself Do I Start All Over Again In Seeking Happiness For My Life?....

I Have No Other Desires Except For What I Have Held On To All This Time....yes I Do Want My Daughter To Have Sight, And I Do Want That Home I Have Seen In My Mind For A Long Long Time Now, And I Do Want My Daughter To Have Her Singing Career Singing Praises To God And Reaching Souls For Christ, And I Also Want To Be Financially Able To Go And Help The Under-priviledge, To Put Food On Someone's Table And Help To House Them And Maybe Put Shoes On Some Childs Feet, I Also Want To Help Other Mother's With Children That Have A Disability Or Handicap In Some Way....and I So Desire To Have The Man I Believed God Gave Me To Be Back In My Life Again.... So Yes I Do Have Big Dreams And These Are My Desires And I Have Always Believed God Was Going To Give Me These Things....

I Have A Big Heart And Love Helping Others....i Give As Much As I Can Whenever I Can.... God Has Given Me The Love In My Heart For People And Expecially For Children....i Have Had Visions Of These Things And Get So Happy In My Heart Just Thinking About Them And How God Was Going To Use Me....but I Just Don't Know Anymore, And I Don't Think Im Getting Over Axcious Because I Have Waited For Years For Most Of This To Happen...and I Waited With Patience And Faith.... For Some Reason Now, Everything Seems Like A Crazy Dream I Will Never Have....i Always Knew I Had This Coming And It Didn't Matter If Anyone Else Believed Me Because I Just Knew In My Heart God Had Shown Me All These Things To Come....

So When You Know You Have A Hope That God Has Given You It Doesn't Matter If You Can't See It For Now, Because You've Already Been Given The Word From God That It's Going To Happen....and That Is What I Have Held On To All This Time....but Im Now Taking A Step Back And Looking At It Asking Myself Is This Really God's Will For Me?....i Have Searched My Soul And Ask God To Show Me If Im Doing Anything To Hold Up My Blessings....of Course There Is Always Something In Our Life We Can Improve On Because We Are Not Living In Perfection But Striving To Be....

.maybe There Is A Lot More That Needs To Be Better In My Life Before God Will Answer My Prayers.......i Don't Know, I Just Know I Don't Have The Strength To Continue In Waiting On Something That May Never Happen....i Don't Like Even Thinking About It Anymore, Its Depressing To Want Something You Can't Have, But Brings Joy In My Heart When I Think About Having It....all Dreams Don't Come True And If This Happens For Me Then It Will Probably Be A Very Long Time From Now Or At Least Until I'm Approved To Be Worthy To Receive God's Blessings...meaning Until My Chriatian Life Is Of Standards In God's Eye's.... Which Is Having More Faith And Trusting Him And A Few Other Things I Know I Need To Do Like Continuing In The Word More....

I Could Come Up With A Lot More That I Can Improve On, But All I Can Do Is Ask God To Guide Me In These Things And Give Me The Help I Need To Have A Closer Walk With Him....i Really Don't Know Anything Anymore, I've Been In This Valley For Almost 3yrs Now And Going Thru Different Phases And A Whole Process Of Spiritual Battles....why I Don't Know....there Is So Much In That Journal Of Mine That Is So Confusing For Me To Understand.... Sometimes Like Now I Just Feel Like Throwing It All Away And Never Read Any Of It Again....

As I Stated Before, Everything I Wrote Was Always When I Was In Prayer And The Spirit Of God Would Over Come Me And Inspire Me To Write It All....but I Don't See Anyof It Happening And Thats Why I Have These Doubts..... Well I Will Close For Now, It Gets Depressing Sometimes Even Writing About This.... I'd Like To Know About Your Journal Too....i Feel Confident In Saying I Believe God Will Show You What You Are Seeking Because You Seem To Be A Strong Warrior For The Lord....continue To Stay In Prayer For Your Family As Well As Yourself.....there Will Be A Connection So Divine You Will Not Believe....thank You For Your Prayers And Concern For Me I Do Appreciate Every Prayer Lifted To Heaven On My Behalf.....yours In Christ... Faith