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time to think time to laugh
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Posted by: JG
Words to live by:
~ He who laughs last thinks slowest!
~ Is the problem ignorance or apathy?
--------I don't know and I don't care.
~ Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
~ Always remember that you're unique,
--------just like everyone else.
~ Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
~ Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
~ All generalizations are false.
~ Change is inevitable,
---------------- except from a vending machine.
Posted by: JG
CHRISTIAN ONE LINERS
"Don't let your worries get the best of you, remember, Moses started out as
a basket case"
Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited - until you try to sit in
their pews.
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come
close.
When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
People are funny, they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road,
and the back of the church.
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation leans on the bell.
Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: "And in conclusion.."
If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it
has.
God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should
you?
To make a long story short, don't tell it.
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
Peace starts with a smile.
I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make
which one you stay home from?
A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just
sitting on the premises.
We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
Outside of traffic, there is nothing that holds this country back as much as
committees.
Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.
Coincidence is when G od chooses to remain anonymous.
Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over
"religious nuts."
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
He who angers you, controls you!
If God is your copilot - swap seats!
Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!
The task ahead of us is never as great as the power behind us.
The will of God will never take you to where the grace of God will not
protect you.
We don't change the message, the message changes us.
You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to...
discourage him.
The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4
given.
"Father, bless the person reading this in whatever it is that You know he or
she may be needing this day."
Posted by: ANOINTED WARRIOR
Thank you Jesus for your Joy whoo hoo 
Posted by: akabezalel
Even My Cat Laughed at Your One Liners!!!