Pages: 1

Not sure what to do next??

(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)

Posted by: faith2win

I am new to this site and had heard about the prayer vigil for marriages and asked a dear sister to put my husband and I on the list, which she did and I'm so thankful!! I am at a very tough spot and would love some extra prayers. I have recently been served with divorce papers and have 12 day left to respond and am struggling very much with what God would have me to do. My husband, Kevin had kicked me and my 3 children out in Feb. and I have been trying to save this marriage from that time on but he is insistant that this is what needs to happen. I believe that Kevin had accepted Christ into his heart at one point but do know that he is not walking with the Lord right now. We had dated for 3-1/2 yrs before getting married in Aug. 03 and counseled with my pastor and both made a committment knowing with a blended family there would be struggles. Well here we are seperated because things got to hard. Kevin said that it was a bad choice to get married but I know when we prayed about it and made that committment he was 100% for it. As I said, I have to decide whether or not to sign and agree with these papers I've received or continue to fight for this marriage as I have been. I told him I love him and have asked him to give me a second chance but he says God is telling him to get a divorce. I know that my God would not tell anyone that and so pray that Kevin will see the truth. I don't want to make him mad by not signing but I know in my heart that God doesn't want me to so pray for continued strength for me. Kevin is involved with another women and this morning he called to tell me I need to send him $$. I am struggling $ wise also and when I told him I wasn't going to sign the papers he exploded and started to scream and call me names and say that I was just punishing him. That is not my intention because I love him with all my heart but I'm hurt that he can just quit loving me and give up after only 6 months of marriage. I tell him that with God's help we can make this work but he is very prideful and has made his decision. Please pray that God will guide and direct me in such a strong way cuz I go back and forth with what I think I should and that's hard on me. Thanks for praying and I am hoping for a miracle here!!


Posted by: cgirl

Dear Lord God, please intervene in this marriage. Let your will be done in all things. Give her guidance and wisdom as to what her next step is dear Jesus. I ask for peace and strength for her through out this ordeal in Jesus name, amen and amen.


Posted by: Praying For Restoration

Hi Faith2Win,

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am in a similar situation.

Please, go to www.restoreministries.net Order their book God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and the Facing Divorce Video and Book.

The advice is radical but it works. The Lord is working miracles through my situation with their guidance. (They have a restored marriage, were both Christians when the marriage came apart and there was adultery involved.) They will teach you solidly Biblical principles for saving your marriage.

While you await the materials, some quick and important points are:

You must submit to your husband in everything.

You must make sure there is no strife when you talk. Have a gentle and quiet spirit, and sweetness of speech adds persuasion.

You must be sure there is no Pharisee spirit in you, and you must be quick to agree with your adversary.

You must seek to behave like Jesus in everything.

What seems like "fighting for your marriage" often is exactly the opposite and causes your spouse to run for the hills, fighting you all the way. He feels you pursuing him, he feels the judgment of you saying you won't sign the papers, etc. None of what you are doing will serve to turn his heart back to you, but will cause him to fight harder to get away from you.

Your heart is right and God will honor that, but you must very, very quickly change some key behaviors.

It is wonderful you are so willing to hang in there and not just go the world's way with divorce.


Lord Jesus,

Please comfort Faith's heart in the midst of her trial. Help her to look upon your face and not look at the circumstances. Show her what you want for her to do, how you want her to act and behave in all situations. Go before her Lord and make a way. Help her to get the information she needs quickly, and bring to light the parts you wish for her to see as quickly as possible. Lord, time is of the essence, come quickly to her aid!!!

Oh Lord, work in her husband's heart and help him to see that you do not instruct people to divorce their spouses as you say in your word that you hate divorce, and you are a God who cannot lie. Lord, I ask that the other woman would quickly turn bitter as wormwood and have a tongue that is sharper than a two edged sword. Bring strife to that relationship and help this husband to say, "It was better where I was before."

Lord, above all else, I pray that your will be done in this situation. I ask that hearts would be healed, lives would be changed. I ask for your kingdom to come and reign in the midst of these people's lives. All for your glory, all for your purposes.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen


Posted by: faith2win

Thank you for the words of wisdom. I am a little confused with the statement that I am to agree with the adversary??? I am, at this very moment writing an answer and response to the divorce papers and am struggling with what to write, so please pray for God's guidance and wisdom as I do not want to put down the wrong things. I will continue to stand firm on God's words and will continue to lift up Kevin and pray that he will accept Christ and His truth! Thanks for continued prayer!! I know God will carry me through this and I pray that I am learning whatever it is that He is teaching me through this! Love in Christ, Tana


Posted by: open2sugstn

I ask Lord that you bind the devil from this problem and take him away from a family he is trying to tear apart. Lord the vows of marriage are sacred and it is not that your will for a family to divorce but in certain surcomstances. Jesus touch Kevin, have your will Lord in their lives. I agree with this sister Lord, You are in the mist of thee. Lord you know I lost my husband of 23 years and 3 days in August of 1996. Lord Jesus I pray you will have your will be done in this and remove what ever the devil is throwing in their path. I praise you Jesus, with all I am and all that I have! Thank you Jesus for so many things you do for us that we don't even see or know!!! Isaiah 12:2-6 Amen


Posted by: warrior4hm

Dear Jesus,

I lift up this sister to you and ask that you will make a way when there seems to be no way. I thank you Jesus that you will never leave her or forsake her. I ask for peace that passes all understanding to come over her today. Thank you Jesus for your mercy. I lift up this family to you and ask that your will will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Jesus I pray that the holy spirit will guide her and direct her path.

In Jesus name...AMEN


Posted by: Praying For Restoration

Hi Faith!

Agree with your adversary -- when you have conversations with your husband, and he slanders you, insults you, makes a request, whatever -- agree with him quickly with a humble and loving heart. It won't always be this way, but right now, he needs to see that you will submit to him in all things and that you are gentle and quiet in spirit. Those qualities will continue in you, but what I mean by it won't always be this way is that the Lord will change him, so he will be gentle with you as well.

What Restore teaches is that you ask the Lord to show you your own sin. Then ask the Lord to provide an opportunity for you to confess your sins to your husband, to tell him that while you do not want the divorce and still love him, that you will honor and respect his wishes and you won't stand in his way. This is supported biblically in 1st Corinthians 7 where is says to let the unbelieving spouse go and to live in peace. They also point to the father in the prodigal son story and how he did not run and try and stop his son, but he gave him his inheritance and a blessing and freely let him go. When you do this it is so important to be sure and not show a hint of blame to your husband. The Lord will deal with him and his sins, no worries there, but it is NOT our job to be the junior holy spirit and try and bring conviction to our husbands. That is the Lord's job and we can support them and stand in the gap for them as their one-flesh wives.

Restore also teaches that you put your trust in the Lord, not in mankind. They point to the verses about allowing yourself to be defrauded in court. They advise that you dismiss your attorney, tell your husband that you trust him to make fair decisions on your family's behalf, and that you will agree with whatever he decides.

TRUST ME, I am NOW dealing with the aftermath of my divorce responses. Attorneys make fights happen. They encourage you not to talk to each other and misunderstandings abound. I am NOW seeing my miracle begin and am hearing that the things holding my husband back are my COURT PAPERS. Check in your state if you must respond. Ask your husband if he will allow you to not have to sign the papers as you've already made so many mistakes in your marriage and you do not want to make any more. In most states, he would win by default. Then pray that the Lord will deliver you from the divorce.

There is so much more to this. I know it is radical advice and sounds very scary and strange, but I have to tell you it is biblical, and when I have sought out the Lord's help, he has confirmed it to me. Ask him and see what he says to you. Seek him, as you've already been doing. Your heart is for your marriage, to save it, to follow and please the Lord. So much of the advice we receive in this world, even in the Christian world, is directly opposed to what the Lord teaches.

Please go to www.restoreministries.net You can get the ebook, God Can and Will Restore your Marriage for $7 and it will arrive very quickly.

I am just another servant of the Lord and have made many mistakes, but it you are interested in reading my journey with this, you could do a search for my username and all threads begun by me. You will see in the beginning, my focus was on my husband and his problems, and the Lord began doing a huge work in me. Just yesterday, my husband said to me that he sees the possibility of us being husband and wife in the future -- hallelujah!!!! And I know the Lord is faithful, and has done so much work in me, that we will be ready and prepared to finally bring this marriage into the place the Lord desires.

May God bless your journey and may you see his miracles come to the fore for you.

I also feel the need to say that since this is a second marriage, if this does come to a divorce, you need to seek the Lord about which of your marriages he wishes to restore. Right now though, you are still married to your husband and you are being faithful to the Lord to seek this marriage's restoration, from what I understand of scripture.


Posted by: Copper

Dear Father, I lift up my sister, God restore this marriage, let not the struggles of life do them in. God, touch Kevin's heart, amen.


Posted by: Praying For Restoration

Hi Tana,

Thinking of you . . .

How are you? How are things going?


Lord God,

I continue to lift up this marriage before you. Lord, Tana so wants to see her marriage healed. Lord, I pray that you will lead her in the way in which she should go in regards to all things occuring with this divorce proceeding. Help her to be like You, help her to walk out 1st Corinthians 13 in practice towards her husband. Fill her up with your Holy Spirit to overflowing. Please provide opportunities for her to show unconditional love and forgiveness for her husband. Fill her with joy and excitement as she is drawing near to you, and as she lives out your love towards her husband.

Lord, we lift up the other woman. Lord, open her eyes to her sin. Help her to be ready, and to seek you out. Help her to turn from the wickedness she is involved in, and to have the strength and courage to break this adulteress relationship she is now in. Lord, let there be strife between them, and please give Tana some evidence that all is not well in that adulteress relationship.

Please open this husband's eyes to his sin, Lord God. Silence all deceptive voices. Help him to seek out your word, which says that you hate divorce and that no one is to tear apart what you've put together. Soften his heart, Lord God, and help him to remember the vows he made before you. Help him to see the destruction he is courting, Lord God. Help him to be responsive to the little things, the ways Tana responds, the ways she shows a gentle and quiet spirit, the love and forgiveness she has for him. Help him to see what a blessing he has in this wife.

Lord, I speak healing and restoration over this marriage, in the name of Jesus. I speak wisdom and understanding in the name of Jesus. I speak love and patience in the name of Jesus.

Thank you Lord, for being the God who restores! Thank you.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen


Posted by: faith2win

Thank you so much for that prayer and all the others sent up. God is really working in my life and that is all that matters. I thank you, thank you, thank you, for sharing about the restoremarriage site. I have been reading and even though it seems hard, I believe God's Word and am standing firm on it. I have still been praying for Kevin's heart to be softened but my focus has been more so on what God wants from me out of this trial. I love how His peace has been overwhelming but that's because He is my reason to live and living life for that reason is Peaceful!!! Thank You Jesus. I am so thankful that we can lift each other up in prayer and I believe that God is answering many prayers!!! Thank You Father for hearing our cries! Thank You Father for all You've done for us, let us remember to love as You love, to cherish as You cherish, and to honor as You honor. In the Name of Jesus AMEN. And I feel God's blessings coming on strong so get ready!! Praise the Lord!!
Tana


Posted by: Praying For Restoration

You are very welcome -- all glory to God!

It is amazing how many people are suddenly streaming here to anointed for marriage restoration! So much so that they gave us our own forum! Wow! I don't think it is any accident, but that the Lord gave this heart of restoration to so many and brought us together so we can support and help each other. What a blessing, and what a wonderful Lord who has provided all we need! Hallelujah!

Praise the Lord for the work he is doing in you, in your marriage, in your husband! Please keep us posted so we can follow along with your miracle and offer you our support in prayer!

Blessings,

Erika
~~~


Posted by: faith2win

Thanks Erika! I also am glad for the support!! I will write a little more later cuz I have to get the kids from school but have a few questions. Thanks, Tana