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Please Pray that God will grant me wisdom, peace and love
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Posted by: brendae
Life seems to hold no promises for me. I am 51 years old and never married, but I have wanted to be. Today, I received an e-mail from my "boyfriend" of one year, breaking up with me. How devastating it was to receive this at work in the moring just before I begin my day. Once again, I feel used, abused and rejected. I know this is a site for restoration of marriage, but what about relationships, self esteem and self-worth. I have prayed long and hard for God to take away my deisre if marriage is not a part of my future. I have prayed long and hard that someone would come into my life who would love me just as much as I love him and I have thanked God that that relationship would be a blessing from him. Instead, the last two relationships have been disasters - I give and give and get nothing in return. In the first one, I GAVE $40,000 and lost. In this one, I tried to give my heart, but he seems contented without me in his life. I am not high maintenance, I have a good job and I'm self sufficient. I'm active in my church and I LOVE the Lord - why is my life so empty - why has God forsaken me? Why can't I go to sleep and not wake up? Why God, Why?
Posted by: JG
This is Jerry:
Dear Brendae:
I am praying for wisdom for you right now
Posted by: czynka
Oh Brendae, dear sister, i know how you long to be loved and cared for. I dont know why things have worked out the way they have, but i do know that the Lord knows what He is doing.
You're probably fed up with hearing the words...'His ways are not our ways' , because that seems a cold comfort right now. Believe me i DO understand your pain and all your questions. Dear sister, i wish i had the answers..... things happen to us in this life and we have no idea why. The pain and the loneliness seems to engulf us sometimes and threaten to swallow us up. But there is hope, there is always hope, Brendae, there IS one who loves You and will NEVER leave You. You cant touch Him, i know, You cannot FEEL His loving arms around you sweetie, but You can see Him as You look all around you. Each time the sun rises, each flower that bursts into bloom, the perfume of roses, the singing of the birds as the dawn breaks, they are all Gods gifts to you and to me...evidence that He is here with us.
Just as the leaves of a tree wither and die as the winter approaches, they fall and the tree is bare and naked. It bears the cruel cold winter, it stands tall all through the storms, yet it seems like Spring will never return.
Then the first glimpse of sun appears, and the tree reaches to the light, upwards, and it's buds start to grow. New life, new hope. Its hope is renewed, as the buds grow into leaves, being fed and watered by God's sun and rain. This tree wouldnt grow and bear leaves if it wasn't deeply rooted in the ground.
And so it is with us, our roots have to be firmly anchered in Him. So that when winter comes, when the storms come, we will be so strongly planted in Him, that nothing can shake us. Aand we will flourish and bear fruit, bringing glory to His name.
Dear Brendae, look upowards even though your heart threatens to break, Look upweards and receive His warmth and His living water so Youwil be renewed in Your spirit. He will lead You along the road He has planned for you...trust Him, ask Him to help you to be chappy with what He has given you right now, and all the rest will follow.
Bless you dear sister, be strong, look to the Lord and expect it only from Him.
xxx