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I'm Tired, Any Suggestions?

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Posted by: A.Sturgill

I have been on this prayer board for a little over two months. I have prayed for people and have tried very hard to have a positive outlook and be an encourager. Today I am tired. I am tired of the battle with my husband. Tired of competing for his attention with his work as number one. I have been cheerful, optomistic, I have let things go on by with no comment towards him. Today, I am just tired of the fight.

I'm sorry for the pity party, but I don't see an end. God first and family second will never be with my hubby and I am tired. I want out of the battle, I see I can't win. I am tired of the crumbs. I just want to withdraw. He does as he pleases and never looks back and I'm just tired. Anybody have any advice today? I have prayed, and prayed, I gave it to Jesus and nothing ever changes. I know, it's God's time, not mine but I'm just weak and don't want to hurt any more. I wish I didn't want Oscar so much, I wish I didn't love him so much, it wouldn't hurt then. I watch him, come around only to ML. I'm sick of it, sick of him using me and walking off. I watch my little boy (5), take the crumbs of 5 minutes or whatever he has to give. Maybe I should be thankful he gives him that but it hurts. My son is from my first marriage, and I don't say anything to Oscar because I don't feel it's his responsibility, but it hurts because my son loves him. Oscar tells me if I don't have a child with him, he's divorcing me, and I ask him why he wants one, he's never around. I don't know what to do, can anyone help? I don't open up to friends here, maybe someone here can help me, show me some insight on how to handle all of this. I'm sorry for being so down today. It's just been a bad day, my son has surgery Wednesday and I'm stressed to the max. Thank you all for listening, Love, Ann


Dear Father, I come to you today, praising you, thanking you for all you have done in my situation. Thank you for being a sounding board for me. I just ask today that you show me how to act in love Father, I want to be kind and loving, not sad and angry. Father I just rebuke satan in this relationship, I rebuke the demons from entering my household, I ask that you place a hedge of protection around my family. Lord, please help me to know what to say to my husband, help me to be a better Mommy, give me patience Lord. I just ask that you use me to do what you have in store Father. I ask that you place a sign for my husband to see I am hurting and to want to help Father. I am sorry Father for falling short, I thank you for loving me in spite of all I screw up in. Just bless my son and protect him in the week ahead. Thank you Lord, for sending Jesus to save such a sinner as me. In Jesus Wonderful Name, Amen.


Posted by: thornygrace

Ann,

I am feeling your discouragement in reading your words. My first thought that came to me is if you are tired of the battle then Praise God because now maybe you will stop fighting the battle and let God fight it for you.

I don't mean to sound callous. I have been so tired of waiting for my husband. At one point the pressure of friends to just give up on him and "move on with my life" seemed to make the most sense. But when I thought about that i felt even more miserable.

So, for a time, I just focused on me and my relationship with Jesus. I focused on reading the bible more and praying more and doing an inner search to see where I had unrecognized sin.

I began to see this entire thing with my husband as a spiritual matter. Not just my husband's spiritual issues, but my own. I have unresolved issues about my father abandoning me as a child. I have not allowed myself to get close to any man my whole life and when I met someone that I thought would never abandon me... what did he do? He has done it twice! (The first time before I even married him. But I thought that that was over a misunderstanding so I overlooked it.)

God has told me that He wants to be my sufficiency. God also spoke to me about forgiveness and bitterness. If I can't forgive my husband than bitterness creaps in and this will put a block on my husband coming fully back to me. My husband does not deserve to be forgiven. But then, I don't deserve to be forgiven either, but Jesus still took all those blows for me and died the agonizing death for my sins. I didn't deserve it but he has forgiven me anyway.

I almost bought this book the other day but decided I couldn't afford it this month. It is called "Sacred Marriage" and I think Smalley wrote it but I could be wrong, Chapman might have. Anyway, the book is about how our marriage issues are a reflection of our own issues and our spiritual issues. That God uses our marrriage problems to help mold us and resolve our issues. I saw it at amazon.com and I am going to buy it next month.

I would say that you might try to follow Jesus' advice: "Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest."

Stop trying to change your husband. Stop trying to get his attention for yourself and your son. Instead, ask God where you can get more support by other women and then also increase your time with the Lord.

I would encourage you to enrich your life as much as you can. Be active in church, in the community and read uplifting things and increase your prayer time. Stop focusing so mcuh energy on your marriage for a time. (Other than praying and coming here for support).

You might also look into church or church related retreats for youself. Or take a vacation to visit a christian female friend. (But don't talk about your marraige problems there). Just taking a refreshing break can also revive you. As can physical exercise.

Oh, that reminds me. I have found that one of the things that exhausts me the most was at the beginning of this ordeal of mine, I was telling all my friends and they were calling or emailing me and wanting updates and I was spending a lot of time thinking about what my husband had done. Also thinking about how my husband had failed me before he left too and telling my friends this.

I have felt better since I stopped talking about this with others except to briefly tell them he wasn't back yet and that he would be soon. (And then when they say "don't count on it", I tell them that I am counting on it and I don't appreciate their negativity. That works to stop their bringing me down in the future too.)

So, work on stopping the habit of talking about it with others but also the habit of thinking about it and mentally going over what your husband is not doing that you want him to. s. likes to remind of of things to be offended or hurt about. It is how the puny loser wants to torment us. Don't let him. Everytime you think: "He is just using me." Say "STOP Thank you God for the work You are doing in my life and in my marriage." And then put your thoughts on something else.

One of the books I have read on this subject has a good idea about stopping this thinking. She suggest having a pile of index cards or a notebook in which you fill with bible verses that uplift you and remind you of who you are in Christ and the promises of God. When feeling discouraged or having negative thougths, just read through the cards.

I also find that when I feel the worst if I can sing along with my praise and worship cassetts or the local chrisitan radio station that this refreshes me as well. So does going to church.

Ok. That is a lot of writing. Sorry. I just wanted to uplift you and tell you that I have been and sometimes am in that same pity party with you. I have found some things that have helped me (when I use them) and wanted to share them.

Join our prayer vigil. Praying for others also helps me feel better.

My signature has the words to a song that I sing or read everyday too:


Posted by: czynka

You dear precious sister, you are always there for all of us in our times of need, now it's your turn

What can i say sis, except that it seems as if you're in the firing line now. That's a rotten place to be isn't it, from the human point of view?

But looking at it through the Lord's eyes, it means that He is doing a great work in you, because through this He is making you stronger and teaching you to have patience...yes i know, even MORE patience.

The Lord considers you strong and faithful enough and ready to be able to withstand this all-out attack of the enemy.....and not only that, He will equip you with EVERYthing you need to get through this.

Just think sis, if you give up now, then your miracle could be gone forever. I know you don't want that. We're here to hold you up and support you all the way through the barren desert. That's what we'll do. Lean on the Lord and lean on us.

"And you shall do what is right and good in the sight of the Lord, that it may go well with you and that you may go in and possess the good land which the Lord swore to give to your fathers.
To cast out all your enemies from before you, as the Lord has promised.
When your son asks you in time to come, What is the meaning of the testimonies and statutes and precepts which the Lord our God has commanded you?
Then you shall say to your son, We were Pharoah's bondmen in Egypt, and the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand.
Ánd the Lord showed signs and wonders, great and evil , against Egypt, against Pharaoh, and all his household, before our eyes.
And He brought us out from there, that He might bring us in to give us the land which He swore to give to our fathers. "
Deut.6:18-23

Oh Lord, take Ann and her son out of this misery and into their Promised Land. Be their comfort and their hope. Bring peace of mind into Ann's heart, also concerning her little boy's surgery on Wednesday.....i place all of that into Your capable hands and ask that You lead all actions and decisions in this operation in Jesus name. Also Lord, please bless this little boy with assurance that all will be well...the surgery, and with his Dadddy.
I'm sure that Ann is a wonderful Mummy, give her wisdom and tact when answering all the questions that her son asks.
Hold Ann Lord, and smooth all the stresss out of her soul, replace it with peace, just peace , help her to rest in You, to bathe in You.
Give her the strength and courage that she needs right now.
Bless our dear sister and her little boy Lord,
in Jesus name. Amen.


Posted by: ANOINTED WARRIOR

Sent you a private message


Posted by: A.Sturgill

Thank you all so much..........................I am so blessed to be on this board! Just knowing you all care means so so much to me. Thank you, and God Bless each of you. Thank you for lifting me up today! Give God all the glory!


Posted by: Praying For Restoration

Ann,

Sweetie, I am running out to take my sister to the airport and won't be back until later, but I wanted to tell you that I'll be thinking of you and praying for you today.

I also wanted to say thank you again for being such a wonderful encourager to me.

The Lord loves you and is definitely with you.

Blessings,

Erika
~~~~


Posted by: jlfirefighter207

Ann,

I have been there with you, and it may sound like something that you have heard over and over again, but you must totally give this situation to God. I didn't see any movement when I was doubting and trying to change things myself. In fact, I was saying all the wrong things at the wrong times and kind of messing things up for Glenda and I. It took a while, but I finally realized that I could do nothing with my worry and my need to change things. It was not changing my relationship. When I thought I was giving it to God, I really wasn't. I still struggle with it all the time...I want to do and say all that I can to change my lady, because I want her back so badly. I have seen some miracles take place in the past two weeks since I have been focusing on letting God take charge and not trying to do his work for him. I am wholly inadequate at filling His shoes. I don't know how it came about, but one day I realized that setting at home pining away wasn't doing anything at all. I have become more involved in God and His word, praying for Glenda's salvation, and praying for her peace of mind. And also praying for the OM, and not bugging her so much about our relationship and where it is going. That will turn off your mate quicker than anything, I have found. I do not talk about it unless she brings it up, but I continue to tell her that I love her and accept her for who she is. Giving it all to God has helped me do all of this. I am not giving up in any way, shape or form, because I think that is what I thought giving it to God was all about. I find that it adds to my strength and resolve of us getting back together. Does any of this make sense?

Dear Glorious Father,

Thank you so much for your victorious ways and thank you for your daughter, Ann. I stand with Ann as she struggles with her feelings and I ask that you give her comfort. She has been such a comfort to many of us on this board and I am thankful for her. Give her strength to continue this fight, Lord, and give her the wisdom and knowledge to know where she needs to be at this point in her life. I pray also, God, for her husband. Allow him to see what he needs in his life and allow him renewed interest in his life and family. Continue not to give up on him or let Ann give up either. You say that if we come together in unity over an issue, you will not depart from us. We come together for Ann, now, as we speak, and expect continued miracles in her life and in her relationship. I ask this in Jesus' name...Amen, and Amen...


Posted by: A.Sturgill

Thank you all so so much for lifting me up when I need it!!! God has sent you for a reason and purpose. My son is having surgery tomorrow so I'll be off the board for a few days at home with him. Thank you and bless each of you here. God is working in each situation, I believe that.


Posted by: czynka

Everything is safely in Your hands Lord. Thankyou that all that happens tomorrow with Ann's son, is being led completely by You. Guide all who are concerned in his surgery, every move and every action.
Give Ann peace in her heart and every encouragement that this is all going to go smoothly and with amazing results. Thankyou that she will project Your great love and care, that it will be visible in her eyes and her words.
We praise You and give You all the glory for a speedy recovery, bless this boy dear Lord, in Jesus name. Amen.


Posted by: Praying For Restoration

Hi Sweetie,

Advice . . .

Hang on to the hem of His garment. Ask Him what He wants you to do.

Does your husband know the Lord? I know for me, hanging onto the promise that God will complete a good work in me, my husband, our marriage, is very comforting. If my marriage were restored today, I would be living with my husband as he is now (and he with me as I am now). I know that would be SO hard. SO hard to wait and trust, to love unconditionally just as he is right now (and him to me).

I'm so sorry you and your son are hurting. I wish I could make it all better somehow, but I do trust in the Lord, and I know you do too. He will not let you down.


Precious Lord,

Come reign over Ann's situation. Come indwell it, and lead her and her husband to the place you want to take them to. Help him to hear your voice, that the way he is treating Ann and her son are displeasing to you! Help him to turn the other way. Lord, whatever it takes, give him a great big huge warning to TURN THE OTHER WAY. Lord, show him that his work is not the most important thing in the world. Show him the way you intend for a husband to love a wife and child. Show him, Lord, show him before he ends up an old man with a trail of heartache behind him! Lord, we ask that you move mightily upon this man and help him to see you to turn his life around!

Protect Ann's little one tomorrow during his surgery. Lead the doctors, and let all go well. Comfort him and his mommy, and let them both sense your presence around them, bringing peace and calm.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen


Posted by: A.Sturgill

Thank you for your prayers. Nathan came through his surgery with flying colors. I know it was the prayer covering over him. I want to thank you for praying for him.

PFR, my husband does know the Lord, he doesn't talk to me about God or pray with me, he is a very,very private person. He does go to church with me some, but he never talks about the Lord or want to discuss topics with me. I guess that's why I get so frustrated, he just keeps to himself. I just keep praying about this whole thing. Thank you for your prayer, I just keep going day after day. I don't know what else to do but pray, I have backed off from trying to discuss any of this with him, he never says anything, so I don't see the point any more. I know I sure fall short of how I should do this, but right now I think backing off is the best thing to do, maybe not......




Dear Lord, I thank you for today, thank you for being there for me each time I need you to lean on. Father I just ask for more understanding in my husband's life. Please teach me patience and guide me down the road I am to be on with you. Change my heart Father, to be more caring and giving to my husband. Please help me to have patience Father. I just ask that you open Oscar's eyes to see the hurt Father. Give him the desire to be more like you. I am here for you and your will, give me the strength to do as you have me to. Thank you Father, I give you all the praise and glory. In Jesus Wonderful Name, Amen!


Posted by: czynka

Ann, have you read the book "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian ?
It has even got prayers in there to help you....

Oh Lord, You see Ann struggling,wanting so much to talk yet not able to, because Oscar seems to have shut himself off. Lord You can break this silence in communication, and i ask You to act upon Your word....'I will go before you, and make the crooked paths straight; I will break in pieces the gates of bronze, and cut the bars of iron". (Isaiah 45:2)
Lord open the comunication between Ann and Oscar, break down the doors of iron and straighten the paths that have become crooked. Shine Your light on to this marriage, so brightly , that even Oscar shall acknowledge the presence of You, the living God, and fall to his knees before You.
Bring a beautiful peace into Ann's heart, take away the stress and frustration lying there, and replace it with an incredible faith that You have the situation completely under control. Because You have.
There is nothing You cannot conquer...there is NO situation too hard or too hopeless for You.
Thankyou that You are bringing Ann into a new phase of faith, that she is growing even through this misery. Lord, be there to comfort her, and to pick her up when she stumbles, be her sun and her shield. Sustain her through the dark days, and show her the light of Your victory...that is waiting for her and Oscar.
Take their children Lord, and keep them safe and secure in Your hands. Protect them from any negative words or actions, but let then be constantly reassured how much their Daddy and Mummy love them.

I praise You Father, for the restoration of all things in Oscar and Ann's marriage, that their union will be stronger than ever, their love will be stronger than ever, because You will be at the very centre of their lives. Thankyou that You are touching Oscar's heart even now....that he will turn to face You and behold Your glory. Thankyou that he will take up his place as head of the household, and that You will be His example.
Bless all four of them Lord, in Jesus name. Amen.

Love you sis xxx