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Posted by: tucker

I am in need of prayers this morning. I have been praying like mad but I can't seem to get out of this slump of a mood after the counseling session with my husband last night.

Tonight we are getting together to go over the finances again (our once a month deal). I am not looking forward to it, plus my daughters are going out of town for 5 days with school. I am having a hard time with that too.

I want this marriage to work and I feel that I have submitted it all to God but others tell me I need to give it ALL to God and have faith. I do have faith and I thought I had given it ALL to God but maybe I haven't.

I am so lost and confused.

Please pray for us and my husband to have a change of heart for this marriage and the love he once had for me. Only God has the power to show my husband the way.

God Bless You,

Tucker


Posted by: thornygrace

Only you andGod know if you have given it all to Him or not. I don't understand why people in your life are telling you that you have not given it all to God.

There are some people who think that if you are unhappy about circumstances this means you have not submitted to God. Moses cried and wept at the feet of the mountain for 40 days and 40 nights begging God for the life of his people in the desert after they made the golden calf. Jesus cried in the garden while praying "take this cup from me" (and of course, "Thy Will be done.")

There is this man I know who says all the time: "Got the victory?" in this annoying cheerful voice. I used to just say "yes" and move on. I didn't want to talk with him. I could see that he didn't understand the lives I deal with everyday who are trapped in poverty and other negative life events. He meant well, but he gave the impression that unless everyone was "cheerful" and "happy" they didn't have the victory of Jesus.

I do have the victory of Jesus. But sometimes I cry out to God and share my pain with him. Sometimes I mope around my house feeling sorry for myself. But I still have the victory.

It is hard watching a slow agonizing death and keep hoping for a resurection. You might not give up the hope, but the grief of this seperation and possible divorce is grief. Grief is the same whether it is the grief of the loss of a loved one who died, or the loss of a job, or the loss of a marriage.

And grief starts at the risk of losing someone or something important too. Especially in your situation when it is not just a couple bad days with your husband but many and the possibility of divorce is right there in front of you.

You are in the heat of the mold dear sister. I do counseling and I warn people that often they will leave the time we have together feeling worse. But that does not mean the work is not effective. It may mean we looked at difficult things.

I had surgery several years ago. It was not life and death surgery but still I have a 6 inch incision in my abdomen. That incision hurt while it was healing. Sometimes it itched. But it didn't feel "good". Nevertheless it healed.

God is at work. You are being healed. Sometimes the healing process doesn't feel good (example of my incision.)

I encourage you to keep turning to God and asking Him to tell you what sins you have yet to confess, what mistakes you have done in your marriage that you need to correct (or not do again.) Focus on changing yourself. God is working on your husband. (And he is working on you.) But your focus on self improvement is the best use of your energy. Also, I strongly encourage you to not try to change your husband or push to have things happen when you want them too.

(This is not to say that in counseling, you don't talk about problems that you wish your husband would look at. I am just saying that mentally thinking about what he needs to change all the time is draining. Keep those thoughts to your counseling sessions.)

Be as agreeable with your husband as you possibly can be without demeaning yourself. That is also important. If he says the budget needs to be reduced, and he wants you to cancel magazine subscriptions, or cable, or dry cleaning or even to try to cut down on grocery costs, etc., then agree to those cuts. None of those cuts demean you as a child of God.

(If he wanted you to stop attending church, or do something you feel is sinful, that is different. I believe it is appropriate to say "No", but in a kind fashion.)

I mention being agreeable because when women feel miserable and insecure, sometimes we are not very agreeable. And men when they feel unappreciated or disrepected will also be unpleasant and demanding or rejecting.

I pray that God will fill you with His peace.


Posted by: Praying For Restoration

Hi Sweetie . . .

I'm sorry the counseling session was so stressful.

Wise words up there from thornygrace.

You know, I find with the whole "letting go" thing that it comes in waves and stages. I let go, but maybe something new happens or some occasion (like my anniversary) comes up or a memory or just my emotions or something and I find myself having to "let go" in a new way, a deeper way, once again, or something like that. Do you know what I mean? (Similarly to how I keep on hopping off the potter's wheel I guess! Have to keep getting back on there and saying, "You know best, Lord.")

This is a very hard walk, but the Lord is with us, and he understands what we are going through. I think he has a very special understanding of our particular pain, because his death on the cross really had to do with how the bride had forsaken the bridegroom with sin, so he had to die for us. He knew the utter rejection of your spouse, and it is all integral to the entire relationship the Lord has with us.

I'm so glad you are here, that you found anointed. We are here for you and will keep uplifting you and your family up in our prayers. Keep talking to us, okay? ((((((Terrell)))))))


Lord God,

Thank you for Terrell. Thank you that even in the midst of her pain she is still seeking how she can surrender even more to you. Desiring to please you, to live for you. Oh Lord, come into the midst of this situation. Bring your peace to Terrell, hold her this day and every day. Help her to feel your presence and your comfort.

Lord, be working here. Show her what you want to be doing in her, and show her husband what you want to be doing in him. Give him eyes and ears that see and hear you, so that he can follow your will for him. Oh Lord, we speak against divorce and separation in the name of Jesus. We bind the will of Terrell and the will of her husband to the will of Christ, and ask that only God's will be done here in this marriage and family.

All in the name of Jesus,

Amen


Posted by: weedviolet

Hi Tucker,

Don't worry so much, God is with you.

We'll be praying for you, and your family.

jeff