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he told me when he is leaving

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Posted by: Copper

hi everybody.

looking forward to our fast and prayer times,
this morning was horrible, tom told me he is going to let me save my checks this month so that i can pay the rent next month because he will be leaving. it is awful. two days ago he acted like things were fine, but he is still running from God so hard. i guess my letter letting him know i know about the flirting with the 19 year old OW did the trick, oh how i have prayed for God to intervene, and ik now i keep messing up and trying to fix it myself, but i'm tired. i'm so tired. our whole relationship has been like this. i just want to be happy. it wouldn't be God's will for us to split up, would it? i keep asking God to tell me his will, and show me, and just keep me looking to him. maybe we do need some time apart, just to think. i need space to keep my eyes on the Lord, tom's constant cussing and going on is so hard to be around. plus the drinking. i don't know. i'm so sorry guys, i feel like i should always be the strong one, i try to be strong, but i am so weak. so blasted broken. i don't want my husband to go, but yet i do. it is awful. this week since i apologized for judging him he has been somewhat keeping me involved, until i let him know about me knowing about his seperate life. gosh, what do u do, just let someone walk all over you elsewhere and not confront them? i mean, what would Jesus do? surely he would confront them? surely He is talking to my husband. he keeps having fitful sleep and saying he waking up in cold sweats. i'm praying God speaks to him. i feel so discouraged. i hate feelings, why do we have them. what do i do? just let him go? let him move, of course alot can happen in a month's time. anyway, i'm sorry to let yall down and to release all of this on all of you. thanks, and can't wait to read what everyone is getting. i am gonna try and put my emotions aside so i can get through this vigil. thanks,
and i don't mean to be self-absorbed either, i just am a wreck. we all are. luv, kimberly


Posted by: Delight

My dear Kimberly,

I know how tired and frustrated that must be leaving you my dear. I will surely pray for you.

NO the Lord will not let you two be broken apart.

"GOD was there as a witness when you spoke your marriage vows to your young bride, and now you've broken those vows, broken the faith-bond with your vowed companion, your covenant wife.

GOD, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage.

"I hate divorce," says the GOD of Israel. GOD-of-the-Angel-Armies says, "I hate the violent dismembering of the "one flesh' of marriage."

(Malachi 2:14- 16)

Yes if you can take your eyes off the storm and fix them on the Lord it would be great.

I know you feel so broken right now. I will pray and fast for you and you'll feel His victory over you and your marriage soon.

May the Lord surprise you today and give you strength.

Hasanthi

p.s. honey don't try to inquire or question about OW. Let the Lord handle it. Just love him that's all He wants you to do coz you are the only Jesus your husband may ever see.


Posted by: Copper

i've cried out to God all morning, begging him do something something please do something. oh God i want to live for Him, i want a Godly huysband, oh Lord please please change us, change us make us amold us. please Lord. I' ve never been so broken. i'm so tired, to tired. i'm so tired. i wish i could just die i'm so tired, i wish God would come back i hate this life i hate it everything about it. i hate satan i hate him so much , oh how i wish God would just come home.
i have to worjk now, gotta get composure, please pray for us. i can't stand another divorce, i can't just can't take it. i can't take this.
oh please God, hear me hear my cries, i'm begging, pleae our children need each other, our children need Godly parents all four are best friends, they love each other, oh God, pleas bring him home to You. God he needs you Lord, he is so weak, he can't fight this alone. Lord, please amen.


Posted by: tucker

Copper,

I know it is hard not to be discouraged during this time. I have been discouraged many times and still get discouraged. Remember to keep your faith and trust in God.

I too keep messing up. You take one step forward and two steps back. I have a very good book to recommend that hopefully you could get from your local library. It is called "Divorce Remedy". There is a lot of good information in there. There is also a website that you can go to called www.restoreministries.net. They have a book on that site that I have just started to read and is very scripture based that I think will help me even more.

I did a similar thing with my husband. He was going away for a weekend to decide if he wanted a divorce. I checked his e-mail in the a.m. and found out that he was meeting the OW that evening. I was so upset and did not follow God but followed FREE WILL. That was one of my biggest mistakes. I have learned from that mistake. From time to time I still beat myself up about it but I have to remember to learn and grow from it.

See my inspiration that I just posted, maybe it will help you get through the day.

God Bless You and I will be praying for you throughout this day and weekend. You can e-mail me if you need to converse some more at tucker13**juno.com

Blessings on you,

Tucker

Quote:
Originally Posted by Copper
hi everybody.

looking forward to our fast and prayer times,
this morning was horrible, tom told me he is going to let me save my checks this month so that i can pay the rent next month because he will be leaving. it is awful. two days ago he acted like things were fine, but he is still running from God so hard. i guess my letter letting him know i know about the flirting with the 19 year old OW did the trick, oh how i have prayed for God to intervene, and ik now i keep messing up and trying to fix it myself, but i'm tired. i'm so tired. our whole relationship has been like this. i just want to be happy. it wouldn't be God's will for us to split up, would it? i keep asking God to tell me his will, and show me, and just keep me looking to him. maybe we do need some time apart, just to think. i need space to keep my eyes on the Lord, tom's constant cussing and going on is so hard to be around. plus the drinking. i don't know. i'm so sorry guys, i feel like i should always be the strong one, i try to be strong, but i am so weak. so blasted broken. i don't want my husband to go, but yet i do. it is awful. this week since i apologized for judging him he has been somewhat keeping me involved, until i let him know about me knowing about his seperate life. gosh, what do u do, just let someone walk all over you elsewhere and not confront them? i mean, what would Jesus do? surely he would confront them? surely He is talking to my husband. he keeps having fitful sleep and saying he waking up in cold sweats. i'm praying God speaks to him. i feel so discouraged. i hate feelings, why do we have them. what do i do? just let him go? let him move, of course alot can happen in a month's time. anyway, i'm sorry to let yall down and to release all of this on all of you. thanks, and can't wait to read what everyone is getting. i am gonna try and put my emotions aside so i can get through this vigil. thanks,
and i don't mean to be self-absorbed either, i just am a wreck. we all are. luv, kimberly



Posted by: Praying For Restoration

Sweetie,

I'll be thinking of you and praying for you all day.

No, it is not God's will for you two to separate. The only separation the Bible condones is one mutually decided upon when both spouses are believers and they want some time to fast and pray.

This doesn't mean it is God's will for you to separate, but in 1st Corithians 7 it does say that if an unbelieving spouse decides to walk away, we are to let them go and be in peace. It does not say you have to divorce him, and I know there is some confusion about if he's a believer or not.

I totally understand the pain you are saying about not wanting another divorce. Divorce is so painful, so awful.



Lord Jesus,

Send your comfort, strength, and renewal to Kimberly this day. Lord, she is suffering, and she needs you. She is tired, because she has been fighting so hard, and Lord, help her to hand this over to you and to let the battle be yours. Wrap your comfort around her. Hold her up this day, and each day. Help her to get through her work time, help her to be okay when driving, when doing anything else she needs to do. Be her strength.

Jesus, one of the greatest comforts you have given me about my own tangled, confusing, difficult situation is the knowledge that no matter how tangled and chaotic a situation, it is not too hard for you to smooth, straighten, fix, and set to order. Nothing is too hard for you! Help Kimberly to hang onto that today Lord. Give her a glimpse in her spirit of what you will do for this marriage. For her. For her husband.

Lord, protect those children. Help them all, Lord God. Protect them. Put a bubble of protection around them that keeps them from having to see or hear any of the strife and trouble. May your best be done for them. Your best.

Lord, I bind the will of Tom and Kimberly to the will of Christ in the name of Jesus. I bind their steps to the path of Jesus. I loose your love, forgiveness, clarity, peace, and hope upon them in the name of Jesus. I ask Lord that you would send great warnings to Tom and Kimberly if there is anything they are doing that strays from your path you've chosen for them. I pray you will give them both ears to hear and eyes that can see. I know Kimberly's heart is for the kind of family you wish for them to have, hear her cries Lord God. Reach down into this family and set all to order, all to healing. Transform, Lord God. Transform. Bring your transformative power into all of them, and fill this family up with your healing. May all who look upon them be in AWE Lord, at the hand of God in their lives. May all who look upon them be in AMAZEMENT at what a good God, what a healer, what a wonderful, loving, transformative God you are! Hallelujah!

Oh Lord, breathe hope into Kimberly. Breathe hope into her. Help her to look up to you in her brokenness, and allow you to scoop her up, put her in your lap, and cuddle her. Lord, help her to let you get her through every moment. She's such a fighter, Lord, she has had to be in her life, and so have I. Lord, what got me through those early days of my separation was just crawling up into your lap. She's so tired. Help her, Lord God. Scoop her up into your arms.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen


Posted by: thornygrace

Copper,

I am so sorry he told you he would leave. I know you have struggled at times wondering if you should leave yourself or not. However, I think that his leaving is not "the end".

I was reading some materials over the last couple days and over and over the message I keep getting is that sometimes when it appears that all is lost, that is when God is doing the most work.

Maybe God wants him to leave for a season so that He can more effectively do a work with you and also with your husband. Perhaps you husband will discover that he is even more miserable not being with you. That might really wake him up.

Tell me, are the children his? If so, he should be arranging to pay child support. I ask this because of his telling you that you will be responsible for the rent and now I wonder how you will manage. (Yes, I know, God will provide, but I do hope that you will not have a lot of stress about finances.)

Just remember, Copper, sometimes it is darkest before the dawn.


Posted by: Copper

hi everybody. gosh, well, i've been crying all day, i feel so stupid, i should be used to this by now. anyway, first of all, i'm going out with my best friend tonight, to a Christian coffee house, to get away, so first i have to hurry, to get ready, second,
thank you!
thank you.
thank you.
i felt your prayers cover me today, i did. i felt peace, but such utter deep sadness, no whole, God is filling the whole, but just such despair for my husband. i love him so.
i want to take time to reply to each of your prayers individually, but i have to get ready, and also, don't worry, because i will still be praying during my appointed prayer vigil hour,
for all of us standing, not just my plight. i'm nt the only one in this, and i know it. that darned devil, we, God and us, will prevail. even if it isn't in this life, we are gonna win. we are on the winning team.

i love you all, and promise to write when i get home, no matter how late. also, i am debating as to if i will be able to afford the internet, so i might have to cut it off, in which case i would cut back and just visit the library a couple of times a week. i would miss u all too much, though, so i'm praying God will provide. they aren't my children, so no, thorny, no CS. but i know God will provide, i might have to ask for assistance for a short period of time, but all will be well. anyway, have to get ready, will write yall soon. love, kimberly