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I can't do this anymore

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Posted by: laurie131

I had heard that my husband had a girlfriend and today I saw the two of them together holding hands. Talk about putting a knife through your heart and then twisting it! In July we will have been married 20 years. What a joke! The end of January, he told me he was moving out and got an apartment on May 1st. He hadn't been coming home these last few months anyway. She moved out of her husbands on April 1st. How amazingly they live a block and a half from each other. He doesn't know that I figured out where he lives. My teenage daughters and I don't need to know where he lives. This OW has now filed for her 3rd divorce. He kept telling me they were just friends, even though she's been chasing him for over a year. She told me she is a christian and would never break up a family (Ha, Ha) I can't take this anymore. I hurt so bad and have prayed so hard and my life keeps getting worse and worse but yet he's the one who's happy. This pretty much did me in today and I know I have a bottle of sleeping pills I can take. I know my daughter is worried about me. But I can't seem to get over this. I feel like I'm worth nothing. Nobody would even miss me. I thought for sure the Lord was helping me in some way but apparently my prayer has made my husband happy. Why is it the ones who aren't praying are the ones who are happy and the ones praying are miserable!
I just want Jesus to take me home where there will be no more pain, crying and defeat. I love my husband very much and I don't think I can do this anymore. I am at the bottom of my rope. May he help the rest of you restore your marriage. God bless all of you.


Posted by: thornygrace

Laurie,

Get on the phone and call a friend of yours and ask her to come over and take you to the emergency room. Get some medical help for these thoughts of suicide.

Jesus died on the cross for you and He has a plan for you. Please realize that while it looks hopeless right now, there will be a more positive change of events in the future. Hopefully the near future.

Think also of your daughter. How will you ending your life damage her life? I have seen so many families after a suicide and it is a horrible sight. And children of a parent who kills themselves are a lot more likely to try to kill themselves in their life time.

Don't give the enemy so much power over you. What if God has the plan to give you such wonderful blessing next week? See? You can't give up!

It hurts. I know, I am hurting alot. I take my antidepressants and I bear it with the support of friends.

Go get yourself some medical care too. Depression is a medical condition.

I am praying for you as I go off to bed now.


Posted by: WeRFamily

Laurie, I agree with Thorny. That is way too much victory to give the enemy. Please think of your children. Call someone to just listen to you cry. I am here to hear you cry. Laurie, know this...God can not bless that affair. Boy - the enemy is so busy. But the Holy Spirit is very heavily convicting me this very moment that satan is such a liar. And to share with you, I asked the Lord to let me know who was responsible for my current marriage situation. Is it a lesson to be learned from Him, or is it a direct attack from the enemy? I just got the confirmation from Him through my spirit. Father I thank You for that confirmation. Thank You for this swift relief. Now I know what to do and it is no coincidence, Laurie, that this happened to me when answering your post. I think our situations are quite similiar. I have been married 13 years and we have 3 children. There is defiantely an OW and I have been right where you are now. Several times. Was there tonight as a matter of fact. This is definately an attack from the enemy and he is using our husbands big time. It is time to fight with every spiritial warfare weapon you can find! But remember, the situation with your husband and the OW won't last. God doesn't want that for them. She will soon be bitter gal in his stomach.


Posted by: czynka

Oh Lord i stand here in Your name for my sister who is in so much despair. Sometimes it seems You have not heard our cries, that You do not see what's happening to us.
But even in the desert , You are there. You brought manna to the children of Israel. It was fresh every morning. Just enough to get them through the day.
And so it is with Laurie. You are providing her with just enough strength and faith to get through each day.
Father, hold her tightly inside the warmth and security of Your loving arms. You have given us the Comforter, so come Holy Spirit, comfort her now. Be her strength, be her vision. As she clings desperately to Your garment, lift her up, help her to set her vision upon You, because with You, all things are possible.
There is nothing too hard for You. So i bring Laurie's husband before You and petition You for mercy upon him. Oh Lord bring him face to face with You , show him his sins, that he is sinning against You and You only. Bring upon him an intense conviction of sin. Confront him with the way he is living, and bring the fear of God into him.
Touch him in such a way that he will fall to his knees in shame, in repentance. Lord deliver him from the snares of satan, holding him captive through the attraction of a woman.
Lord remove this woman from his life, bring such a sense of shame to him that he cannot look upon her without feeling such guilt and shame.

Draw this woman too, to Your mercy seat. Bring conviction and shame to her too. Her and her children. Do a great work in her.

Father i plead the blood of the Lamb over Laurie and her children. Place a guard over Laurie's thoughts, secure them firmly in Your word. Bring them into captivity to Your word.
Oh Father, when she is weak, You are her strength. When she feels she is too tired, You have promised to give her rest.
When she feels like she cant go on, then Your grace will be suficient for her. When she feels she cannot do it, You have promised that she can so all things in You, because You strengthen us. When she feels alone Lord, remind her that You have promised that You will NEVER leave her or forsake her.

Make Your presence known to my dear sister. Fill her home with the peace and calmness of Your Holy Spirit. Fill her heart with the undeniable and overwhelming sense of Your never-ending love.
Blessher. Take her children too and protect them, take their fears away, fill them with hope and faith. You are our Wonderful Redeemer, You will turn this all around. You will turn ashes into beauty.
In Jesus name. Amen.


Posted by: Praying For Restoration

Hi laurie,

((((((((((laurie)))))))))))

I'm so sorry for the pain you are in.

The Lord is here for you, and there are things he wants to accomplish during this time.

When you are at the end of your rope, praise Him and rejoice, for now He can take over and He is GREAT, and He is STRONG, and He is GOOD, and HE WILL DO IT.

Please, dear one, do not be deceived that your husband is happy. Look up what the Word of God has to say about those living in sin, in particular adultery. Gather those scriptures and pray them over your husband's situation. Pray that she becomes as bitter as wormwood, and with a tongue as sharp as a double-edged sword. Pray that the Lord shows you trouble in that camp. Remember, your husband will want to appear happy to you as well, out of pride. Also, how can he be happy? Is God's word not true? He is in sin. A man who claimed to know God. He has abandoned the wife of his youth and his children. How can he possibly be truly happy???

I am amazed at how many times I hear that a spouse has left and won't disclose where they live. My husband is the NICEST GUY IN THE WORLD. Was completely devoted to his family. (Our 19th wedding anniversary was last month, BTW.) I was SHOCKED when he moved out and also would not tell me where he lived. I hear this ALL THE TIME. I think it is a territorial kind of thing, and a need to carve out their own space, as it is really so hard for them to leave us.

He is bound by the cords of his sin. And he needs you to step forward as the prayer warrior, in your prayer closet, standing in the gap for him as his one-flesh wife. Those 20 years are no joke. You are the wife of his youth. The mother of his children. You are the precious treasure the God of the Heavens and Earth has chosen for him. Never forget that, sweetie! YOU are the one God chose for him!

He is in the Restoration business. He created marriage, relationships, man and woman -- you and your husband. Please don't give up now. Remember, satan likes to "stir things up" just before your miracle!

No weapon formed against you shall prosper!

And please, don't try to find anything out that the Lord hasn't just brought to your attention. He will tell you what you need to know. If you seek out that info, you may be going around God. He may be trying to protect you.

Have you gone to these places yet?

www.restoreministries.net (My personal favorite)
www.rejoiceministries***** (also wonderful, great daily email newsletter Charlyne Cares)
www.divorcebusting.com (Secular, but with some good information. Just run it through your spiritual discernment first.)

I just have such a feeling of confidence about your marriage while posting to you!


Precious Lord,

I lift laurie up before you. I ask that you would comfort her and hold her in your arms. Lord, take control of this restoration. Let her not go before you but stay right in the path you have determined for her to take. We know you are the Good Shepherd and you go before us, determining the best paths for your sheep. Thank you Lord God for that. Thank you that you will never leave laurie and her children, nor forsake them!

Lord, I pray that during this time you would lead laurie. Bless her and help her to see exactly how you want her to pray. What you want to do in her life during this season. Help her to turn to you to be led in preparation for her husband's eventual return, hallelujah!

Lord, please bring the destruction of this adulteress relationship. Lord, I pray you will hasten the process of her becoming bitter as wormwood with a tongue as sharp as a double edged sword. I pray you will show laurie that there is trouble in that camp, and that all is not well. I pray for this OW, whose life is in such destruction. Lord, she is deceived, and I pray you will reveal to her her deception. Help her to seek after you, to hunger after righteousness. Cause her to go back to her husband, and put roadblock after roadblock in front of her efforts to divorce him and take laurie's husband along with her. Lord, I bind the enemy and send him away from all involved here in the name of Jesus.

I pray for laurie's husband, that he would wake up and see all the destruction around him. I pray he will flee immorality. I pray he will seek after you Lord God, and desire your righteousness above all else. Show him Lord that he will not find what he is truly seeking inside by living in sin. Call him back unto yourself. Surround him with godly men who will speak the truth to him in love. Bring him back to his family, Lord God.

We praise you and anticipate wondrous things, for we have invited you to indwell this situation and bring your healing. You are AWESOME Lord!

In Jesus' Name,

Amen


Posted by: LIL_MIKE

Jesus loves you and if you give Him your problem He will take care of them just give it to the Lord our God, have faith that the Lord will make everything better. If it gets to be to much tell Him and He will find a way for you to get away. I love you and care for you deeply, but my love don't ever compare to the love that Jesus Christ has for you right now and forever more. Smile Jesus love you.
I feel your pain for I am there to and so is Jesus,
Michael


Posted by: laurie131

Thank you all so much for your replies. I don't know what I was thinking last night. I guess I was at the end of my rope. You always hear things but when you actually see them, it makes quite a difference. I've printed out your replies so I can read them and remember everything you've said to keep me on the right track. I would never do anything to hurt my daughters, they are my life and I know they are so worried about me. They are constantly checking on me when they're gone and try not to leave me alone. That's pretty good for a 14 & 16 year old.
God bless them. I couldn't have asked for better children. Thank God for that, as I know how they are hurting too. I told them we have to be there for each other and pray together on this. Thank you all so much!! By the way, my 16 year old did call my two sisters way out in Maryland last night and they kept me on the phone till I was falling asleep. Therefore, I made it through the night.


Posted by: koppen

I feel your pain because I have been there. You can rise above it and be victorious. I have had thoguhts of suicide in my past when my first husband ran off with my best friend and they are still together to this day but remember if you do kill yourself there is no heaven for those whom commit suicide. Your pain will not end but last for an eternity in hell. The pain we feel and experience in our lives is nothing like the pain and suffering that is in hell and it NEVER EVER ends. Now is the time to seek the Lords face. Think of what this could do to your children. Suicide is not a ending pain is it also pushes all the pain onto your children. Obviously YOU are the dedicated ones to your children and they need YOU as well because in a situation such as this. This hurts them as well. DO NOT GIVE ANY SATISFACTION TO THE ENEMY! This is an assignment on your life! Fight back and be victorious!! Lay it all at the Lord's feet and let Him carry this for you. When you pray about your situation ask the Lord for His will in your life. This is one of the many things I am going to be praying for in your life as well as our Father to heal your paina nd your children's. YOU CAN BE AN OVERCOMER.....REJOICE IN THE LORD'S VICTORY.... I LOVE YOU WITH LOVE OF A FELLOW CHRISTIAN BELIEVER AND I AM PRAYING FOR YOU. IN A TIME OF NEED WE COME TOGETHER AS BELIEVERS TO HELP EACH OTHER AND LIFT EACH OTHER UP TO OUR LORD IN HIS NAME...

May the Lord Bless Your Life For His purpose
Kelli Oppen

I posted I guess as you where posting your last post... Thank you Jesus for comforting our sister in her time of need.. Thank Lord!


Posted by: echolszawjee

Quote:
Originally Posted by laurie131
I had heard that my husband had a girlfriend and today I saw the two of them together holding hands. Talk about putting a knife through your heart and then twisting it! In July we will have been married 20 years. What a joke! The end of January, he told me he was moving out and got an apartment on May 1st. He hadn't been coming home these last few months anyway. She moved out of her husbands on April 1st. How amazingly they live a block and a half from each other. He doesn't know that I figured out where he lives. My teenage daughters and I don't need to know where he lives. This OW has now filed for her 3rd divorce. He kept telling me they were just friends, even though she's been chasing him for over a year. She told me she is a christian and would never break up a family (Ha, Ha) I can't take this anymore. I hurt so bad and have prayed so hard and my life keeps getting worse and worse but yet he's the one who's happy. This pretty much did me in today and I know I have a bottle of sleeping pills I can take. I know my daughter is worried about me. But I can't seem to get over this. I feel like I'm worth nothing. Nobody would even miss me. I thought for sure the Lord was helping me in some way but apparently my prayer has made my husband happy. Why is it the ones who aren't praying are the ones who are happy and the ones praying are miserable!
I just want Jesus to take me home where there will be no more pain, crying and defeat. I love my husband very much and I don't think I can do this anymore. I am at the bottom of my rope. May he help the rest of you restore your marriage. God bless all of you.
dear sister beloved. You would not allow a women to come take your man, your upset and rightfully so, its tragic. please do not let Satan come in a take you life. Fight, beloved sister be fathfull no matter what to the call on your life, Jesus died for you to have the abundant life....... this means allllllllll areas. anthing less is a rip off from satan. Dear beloved, you are a precious gift of Our God. you have so much more work to do, do not let satan succeed and make a mockery of you!!!dear beloved, there will be a testomony in is for the glory of the Lord. He loves us all so, dear saint, if i were there i would tell you and show you with a hug, but the Lord is now your husband and you are now his wife. be faithfull with your spirit to serve him, you will have the victory. Touch Lord Jesus, cover your beloved, heal her brokenness and lift her up. we love you sister in the Lord, Look up!!!! turn your face towards heaven and shout the victory. know his peace. amen. we love pammy


Posted by: tay

I soooo feel for you. I will pray for you.


Posted by: flowerchild

I agree with Thorny. Although you felt better yesterday, please go to the doctor and let him prescribe something for the depression you are feeling. You may also want to go see a Christian therapist who can help you process these feelings and maybe help you through these difficult times. Reach out to people: friends, family, the Board, strangers... You CAN do this, you can do ALL THINGS (not some things) but all things through Christ who strengthens you!!!!!! Please, know that we are all praying for you, for encouragement, strength, peace... Father God, please bless this person and provide their every need. Remove all thoughts that are not from you and renew her with strength, joy, peace, clarity, patience and whatever else she needs. We ask you in the name of our Lord Jesus, AMEN!