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My marriage needs help....please

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Posted by: Mike Melville

My name is mike, i am new here(today is my first time). My heart is crying right now. Almost 2 years ago me and my wife crystal were married. im almost 26 an she is almost 25. Some say wee got married to young, i dont think so. Last sep, we moved back to michigan where i am from originally. We moved from idaho where she is from. I wanted to move us here so we could have a frsh start, a new beginning.And to finish college and become teachers. But it did not turn out that way. I got a job selling cars 2 weeks after we got here but i was laid off 3 weeks before christmas. I have been unmiplyed ever since, although i have been looking almost every day. I have no been able to find a job...even at MCdonalds. She works at walmart part time(no available full time), Since ive been unimployed our bills have been stacking up we pay what we can, my parents help us out with rent so we have a place to live(praise god for them). But becouse of all this a void has opened between me and crystal, its hard for us to talk without yelling and screaming. Nothing i planned on before we moved has worked out. Were both scared and upset. Spcially her becouse her family is so far away, andher friends. Im not a evil man, i rarely drink, i dont go out with friends till all hours of the night, i have never and will never cheat(its a sin) and its not not in my nature. I dont hit her or abuse her like some guys do. I feel like a let down as a husband, i have not been able to give her anything a promised or wanted to, i rarely can buy her flowers. I wanted more than this for her and us, it makes me sad. ive let her downand her parents who are amazing christians(becouse of her and them i got saved and came back to god in the forst place) i not perfect as a christian im still praying and trying and theres allot of little things i do that im sure do not thirll god, Crystal is scared and sad, and depressed and has thought about suicide(never tried), she lonely and i wish i could do more for her spiritually and in our marriage. She wants to leave with or with out me. We cant afford to move again. Sometimes i think maybe we should not have moved i just felt so strongly about it........like it was the right thing for us. Maybe i was wrong. I love crystal so much, the only i love more is god. I know we need topray more togehter than what we do. i dont know what to do, all i know is my wife and my best friend is so terribly sad, and feeling alone........and so am i. I belive in the power of god and the power of prayer. I know i will find ajob . I am more concerned with my marriage becouse with out crystal it would not be life. She is a part of me.
So i ask and plead to all who read this, Please pray for me a christian husband i want to be a good man and husband in crystals eyes and gods eyes, i want to be able to talk to her and really talk not yell and scream. I want god to lead my life the way he wants me to. Please pray for crystal to that she may find peace and happiness with me. And that she may love me again. I need help so bad i am scared


Posted by: StevenHenderson

Hey Mike, I pray for God's will to be done in your marriage. I know it's hard to be a good man, someone who can take care of a family. But no one can do it honestly with out God's Help... and they may not even know that it's God Helping them to be who they are. A lot of people have the favor of the Lord, and there are the people who know that it is His favor helping them, and then there are the people who just think that it's them doing everything good in their own power. I pray for the favor of the Lord to come into your life and your house and marriage. I pray that God will help you and your wife to come into agreement on the issues that you are both dealing with. One of the most powerful things a married couple can do to change their lives for the good, is to come into agreement in prayer before the Lord concerning the issues that surround them. This is often hard because a lot of the time coming into agreement is a hard thing to do. But I pray that the Holy Spirit will give both of you small things that you can agree on and pray for, and that He will Help you move into praying for the things that often cause arguments. I can not be a good man with out God’s help. Nobody can. I need the Goodness of God to get through each and everyday. For only He is truly Good. And He makes the sun shine on the righteous and the wicked. And I pray that He will make you into the man of God that He knows you can be. He believes in you… you just keep believing in Him, and pray for yourself, your wife and your family to be. God bless you in all of your ways.
-Steven


Posted by: Annie7

Lord,

I pray for Mike and Crystal that you will work a miracle in their lives.
Please show them the direction they should go in and if moving to Michigan was a mistake, I pray you will show them and make a way for them to go back and start a new life with needs being met.
I pray if it is the best thing for them to stay, that you will help them find work to begin a life and meet their living needs and more.
Please give them wisdom and direction.
Let them go to church where they may meet some people who know where work is and where they can grow together in you.
Please rescue this ship, Lord, and give them still waters and peace.
In Jesus' name we pray,
Amen.


Posted by: Praying For Restoration

Hi Mike,

I'm so sorry you are hurting and going through such a rough time right now. Be encouraged, my brother in Christ, that nothing is too hard for God. Many of us lose our way for a time from our spouse, but God is able and can teach us and heal us and bring us back together.

I remember many episodes in my early marriage where money was extremely tight and we didn't know what we were going to do. I even remember some tremendous losses in our lives that seemed insurmountable. Even though I wasn't following the Lord at the time, I can say that those things ended up fading as time moved on, and basically became good opportunities for personal growth. You have the Lord with you, and wow, that makes it an even better opportunity to learn what he would have you to learn, to seek Him, to ask Him into the midst of the situation. You have His promise that He will never leave you, nor forsake you. Wow!

Have you asked the Lord if He wants you to move back? If He does, He will provide a way to do that.

As for yelling and screaming -- don't. Just don't. No matter the circumstances, you can make the choice to be loving instead of screaming and fighting. It isn't helping, right? Only making things worse, right? Don't be haughty about it (like saying, "I refuse to sink to your level", or something like that), but just say you don't want to fight. You love her, you don't want to see your relationship torn apart with strife. You understand she is worried and afraid. You may want to study Proverbs and the instructions there for what to do with strife. It is SO true that a gentle answer turns away wrath.

Have you tried asking her to join together in prayer with you, to break whatever this is that is going on? Maybe if she felt you two were working *together* with the Lord to bring your life into the place He would have you, it would help you two not to tear at each other?

Have you told her what you told us? How you love her, and are afraid of losing her?

Goodness, I'm just sensing a lot of FEAR here, and havoc that the enemy is trying to wreak. But Mike, the Lord is with you! Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world!

Also, there will be a time for flowers. There is SO much you can do to show love and nurturing to her. A considerate, loving, gentle, affectionate, thoughtful man can make a woman feel like a princess, more than a rude, thoughtless man who can buy her anything. In fact, many people buy things when they can't "come through" with genuinely loving treatment of another person. The financial troubles you are going through now are temporary. I've heard soooooo many couples reminisce about the "old days" when they didn't have two nickels to rub together, but they loved each other so sweetly. Give her your time. Ask her to go for a walk. Pack up a lunch and go on a picnic to the park. Offer to give her a massage after she's been on her feet all day at her job. And when the time comes that there is more money in your household, there will be other things too!


Lord God,

I lift up Mike and his wife before You. Oh Lord, there is a lot going on here, but I rejoice in knowing that nothing is too hard for You! You are an awesome and mighty Lord, and You provide for Your children! I join with Mike in asking that You would provide him with a solid job that will meet their needs. Lord, I also ask that You would provide Mike with great discernment and direction, concerning where they should live. Speak to him, and comfort him. Help him to know deep down in his spirit what You would have him do.

Lord, I also ask that You would intervene in the situation with his precious wife. Thank You Lord for how he loves her. Lord, I ask that You would come quickly into the midst of the trouble between them, and bring your peace. Help them both to remember the person they married. To remember their vows, which included promises to stay together even in the rough times. Help them to look to You, to say, "Come be our help in our time of distress, oh Lord!" Help them to yield to Your Holy Spirit. Let there be no more yelling. No more screaming. Help them both to see the fruitlessness of that.

I pray a hedge of protection around them, their marriage, their walk with You, their finances. I ask Lord that You would protect them from the enemy, and keep him away from their marriage. I speak Your word over them that no weapon formed against them shall prosper! I pray that Your Holy Spirit would come upon them with a flood of peace, comfort, direction, and instruction. Help them both to live out Your love towards each other every day.

I thank You Lord that this husband is going straight to You, crying out to You, on behalf of his marriage. Oh Lord, hear his cry and come quickly to his aid! We rejoice in You, knowing You have wonderful plans for him and his bride! I pray that your will for their lives will come into fruition, and that nothing will come in the way of that nor hinder them.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen


Posted by: Vicky42

Father I pray that you touch this young couple. Father, show them that they can grow closer through the hardship. I pray that they keep their eyes on you. Father, give Crystal the peace she needs and put your arms around her and keep her from doing something that she should not do. Father, I pray that Mike is able to find employment so he can take care of Crystal.

Father, I thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. In Jesus Name I pray. AMEN

Mike - Have you and Crystal found a church where she can make new friends and also have a support network?