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Spiritual, Emotional, and Physical Healing NEEDED
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Posted by: SERAPHIM-ServingHimOnly
Please pray for my friend Diane and her husband Victor
To understand what is going on please read this e-mail from her to me:
Sorry I have not written since Friday. On a spur we decided to go camping for the weekend. Big mistake to say the least. I had no pain during the hsg (an infertility test to see if fallopian tubes are blocked) but suffered from abdominal pain and what felt like bad spasms all weekend. On top of that all I could do all weekend was cry on and off. Just like mourning a death. Today when we came home, the dam finally broke. It ended with me and my husband crying together like two babies. I more or less took the beautiful blue empty picture frame I had on the dresser and threw it away. My husband after spending the entire time trying to lift me up and give me hope said he just could not do it alone anymore, have hope that is. I began to feel angry. Lately I feel so isolated. I read your e mail Fri before I left about walking in the light and found it interesting because just moments before, my husband said the same thing to me. Its been tough hanging on to say the least. I am so washed out from the negative tapes of the HSG Doctor and the RE (infertility specialist)playing repeatingly in my mind. I cannot explain the many emotions going through me at once. Im sure you have an idea. My husband wrote to Dr. Berger and he said from the sounds of it my left is open but the right may be blocked. Again I feel my fertilty is being hacked away at. As if the devil himself has been in front of me saying going,going GONE!!!!!! So, we now have a 40 year old me,ONE 4cm tube and no fertile mucous. My husband cannot seem to understand why the battle going on inside me and the questioning how is this going to happen???? I am in a constant spiritual battle and I feel literally exausted. I cannot stop blaming myself for ruining one of the best gifts the Lord let me be born with.My fertility and the ability to bare human life.(She had a tubaligation under pressure from others and then had it reversed. She got pregnant but miscarried. They later found cancer cells and did a cryogenic freezing of her cervix and she has not conceived again since the miscarriage) I have never in my life felt so inadequate. The last few tests I have had seem to show what will be from now on an empty uterus. I imagine seeing little tiny hands and feet once again but the image fades fast.Seems I cant go there for long. As far as the end goes I feel I have been there for a while now. I dont know if I told you. The day of the hsg as we were leaving the hospital and I was crying the Lord spoke to my husband. He said the words touched his heart clearly saying there is going to be another. Tell her to listen because I will speak to her. I recall you hearing the same thing. I told my husband I have yet to hear the words. I went into my camper this afternoon and wept real hard as I prayed asking him to PLEASE speak to me, to PLEASE hear my desperation. I know how hard it must be for my husband but I cannot help myself right now. I have never felt so weak and burnt out in my entire life!! Please stay in touch. Im still so scared to send the films to Dr. Berger because Im so frightened it will all be confirmed. Why would that left tube have flowed out so slow if it were a normal tube? I cannot explain the numbness that came over me on that x ray table that day. Everything was in slow motion as the Dr said" I cannot confirm today your right tube is open and your left flowed real slow and appeared abnormal in shape as if dissended" Perhaps you can repeat the test or the dr can do a surgical procedure on the tube" Later that afternoon is when the pain started and I vomited so bad,as things became worse when the RE told my husband he would not do IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) because of the slowness of the one tube and blockage of the other. I heard what I NEVER wanted to hear. IVF!!! Dr Berger said it did sound like the right was blocked and he would compare it to my operative report but in all honesty I dont expect to hear any different. My husband watched the tube fill two thirds of the way and didnot spill. In my opinion, since my tubes are only 4cm, there would seem to be a block at the repair site. I feel I have no more reassurance than before the HSG test. If the tube could spasm giving the appearance of a blockage how do you get a true answer? Well, my friend, all I ask is that you please pray. Lord Im so very tired now. I love you. So sorry to go on. I dont know where to turn. No one close to me was in support of me having more kids. Cant even talk to the one close cousin of mine. Sick of the underlying message from my parents in the long run that say "well, you have three beautiful kids together and cant make the rest of your life miserable" Seems so unfair. Please write when you can.
Love Diane
Posted by: Tafi
Lord, I ask now that You would just cover and fill Diane and her husband with Your love and Your presence. Let her know that You do hear her cries to You and her prayers, I ask that You would answer them.
Lord, You know her heart and I pray that You would stir it so that whatever You are saying to her, she hears, help her to sit and wait on You, to be still. I pray that whatever Your will is, that it is made clear to her and that Satan cannot steal it. I pray that whatever hold satan has in this situation, that he loosens and removes the hold, in Jesus' Name. Lord, please let him not win in this situation.
I pray that You would her heal her of all that is not right in her body, I believe You will if You will to, to heal her of all her emotional hurts. Lord, bless her with more children and I pray for no more barriers in doing so.
I pray for strength and patience for Diane and her husband, that they do not grow weary and that they continue seeking Your face.
Fill them with Your overwhelming peace, Lord and let them not worry anymore. I pray this all in the Name of Jesus Christ, AMEN.
Posted by: FriendOfGod
Oh dear gracious God, please touch this dear child. Soothe her and give her your peace and comfort. Give her the strength to get through this. Please work a miracle in this. Let it be a demonstration of your awesome power. Have mercy and shed grace on this poor child today. In Jesus mighty name I pray, Amen.
Posted by: SERAPHIM-ServingHimOnly
Thank you so much for seeing fit to pray for my friend. I have been praying for her diligently for a while now and I needed other intecessors to assist me. God Bless You all.
Posted by: SERAPHIM-ServingHimOnly
My Friend Diane is a nervous wreck right now. Her original surgeon asked her to send over the films from the hysterosalpingogram she had done with this new doctor. He, before seeing them, is under the belief that the new Dr. was only encouraging IVF because he was seeking the money involved with the IVF.
My friend is so down and was frightened to send off the films but I encouraged her and she finally sent them. The films have already arrived at the original surgeon's office; so now she sits in constant fear and worry while waiting to hear the results. I have told her that regardless of her results, God has the final word on this matter but she has fallen so deep into self-punishment and depression over this infertility that it pretty much does no good to tell her these things right now. So, Please lift her up to our Lord as she waits on the doctor's 2nd opinion and most importantly pray that she finds peace in her soul, that she draws nearer to God & recognizes when He is speaking to her.
Thank you so much.
Posted by: pickone
Lord, please give this 40 year old woman peace, so she can hear Your voice and confirm what You have already told her husband. In Jesus' Name. Amen.