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Urgent prayers for my Dad, please
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Posted by: cat_slave
I humbly ask for prayers for my dear Dad, who's 61 yrs old, married to my Mom for the past 38 yrs.
He had a very hard life. He grew up in a very poor, rural family...where his father was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned the family when my Dad was young (for a few years, but later returned), leaving my Dad to begin working at a very young age, trying to help my Grandmother put food on the table for her 4 children (my Dad was the oldest).
He's always been a very very hard worker, and a good man, despite not ever having had a proper father role-model.
Growing up, my Dad worked very hard.....doing many things....firefighter, the army, trucker, etc.
He's owned his own trucking/transport (small) business these past few years, but business has been very slow where we live.....and Dad's health is slowly declining. He has some kind of undiagnosed heart condition (has seen cardiologists but nobody can figure out for sure what the problem is). He has a very bad back..in fact, he's been living with a painful slipped disc in his back for the past 3 yrs, working through the pain, never once complaining. (due to the nature of the slipped disc, to make a long story short, surgery to correct it would be far too risky.....there's a 60% chance he'd lose function to his left leg). Sometimes he is so tired and so sore, but he keeps on going and never complains at all. He still works 16 hour days, not because he wants to....but because when you own a small business work is tight, you do what you have to do.
His knees are also very bad, likely from years of jumping down out of trucks and all the wear on tear on them from doing so much physical work.
My heart breaks for him.
Dad never really began planning for retirement years ago.....I guess he didn't know much about investing and RRSPs and those things, so here he is, 61 (Mom's 59), his health is failing, he's so physically and mentally exhausted, and he's afraid for their future.
A large part of the problem is my Mother (by the way, they are both Christians). You couldn't find 2 different people. They have such opposite personalities and ways of communicating, in truth, they likely should have never married.....but they did, and they are committed.
My Mom has always done the bookkeeping for Dad's company. She has deeply resented this for many, many years. She's always resented the fact that she "had no choice" but to do this; that she couldn't do a job that SHE wanted to do. She resents the fact that my Dad never planned for their retirement years ago. She resents the fact that she's 59 yrs old and still has to work when many of her friends and our relatives, they're couples that are the same age or younger and are retired.
She just has so much deep seated resentment toward my Dad and the choices he's made over the years (though he made them in order to provide for our family, doing the best that he could). She is so completely negative, antagonistic and confrontational with him. I feel badly for her, to be that unhappy...but I also feel so bad for my Dad.....who is a very tired man, with concerns about their future..who's doing his best....but nothing is ever good enough for her. She is not any type of support for him at all. She is always nagging at him. It's really wearing on him badly.
Last night, he called me up and said one of the big trucks he was driving back from the city, the transmission went on it (no fault of his own, obviously)....so he called me up to see if I could pick him up and drive him to his shop. He called me Mom to tell her what was going on, that he'd be late getting home. She went off on him about "stupid trucks"......instead of maybe saying something like, "I'm sorry that happened, dear..I hope you can get it all straightened out." The man was exhausted, just drove 6 hrs in a NON-air conditioned big rig (it's in the 90's here)......and that is what he got.
I sat down with him and just let him vent. Dad is not one to ever complain, or miss a day of work. He is a good Christian man and he has a lot of faith and trust in God, and he is a great example of Christ's love. He is also not really one to express his frustration, especially with his children....but he sat there and just let it spill out......and he told me, "I'm tired, I'm sick, and I'm sore......and I'm doing the best I can, but I don't know what I"m going to do."
I asked what he meant about being "sick" (that scared me)....he quickly explained he just meant that he was referring to his bad back and knees (I hope that's all he meant).
My Dad has a possible business idea......one that would be so much less stress and physical work for him. He's really hoping that it pans out, but it's still up in the air. It's something that has to be approved by the government, and there's a lot of paperwork and stuff involved. It would also involve them having to likely relocate to a town 3 hours away, a very small town........and I know Mom would not be happy about this at all, and she'd likely give him a lot of grief...but he says if this goes through, she wouldn't have to do any bookkeeping for him ever again.
I am so overwhelmed and heartbroken for my Dad. I pray to God, that He'll give my Dad peace and strength and the perseverence to keep going, and to not lose hope.....and to keep him in good health......but sometimes I'm just too overwhelmed to even pray.
My Dad is a wonderful man, he would give the shirt off his back to anyone, he is humble and hard working and no matter how discouraged he's even gotten, he's always reminded his children to never lose faith in God.
2 months ago, he had a very close brush with death. He was loading something onto the back of a truck, a strap broke, and an 80 lb wooden post fell from the truck and hit him on the head, knocking him out briefly. Had it hit just a couple inches further down, it would have hit his temple and surely killed him. My Dad's always been a very cautious, safety-conscious man.....but I think this likely happened because he's just so physically and mentally exhausted, that he's just not as sharp. Mom says his memory is getting worse, and she worries he might have the beginning stages of Alzheimer's, but I think he's just so tired..and he's just got so much on his mind that his brain is on overload.
I humbly ask you, with all my heart, to please keep my father, and my mother, in your prayers......because I fear my Dad's starting to become so tired and maybe even depressed........and this isn't good for his poor old body and heart. Please pray that God will open my Mom's heart so that she will be a support for my Dad....to encourage him and be more positive.....and to just be thankful for the fact that she has a hardworking husband who has never cheated, who has never neglected his family, who has never drank (like his father), who has never been lazy, who has never complained, despite how bad times have been.
It hurts me so much because I feel so helpless.......that there's really nothing i can do, except to be a support for my Dad, and to encourage him. And to put my faith and trust in God.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read this, and for keeping my parents in your prayers.
God bless you,
Lisa (My Dad's name is Glen)
Posted by: ninababy73
Lisa, I will keep your dad and mom in my prayers. God Bless.