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what do you do when you want healing but don't have the faith?
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Posted by: Frederik
This is a stupid situation, isn't it? 
And this is exactly where I am. I feel like I can forget about healing cause I don't have the faith anymore. I just don't know what's the truth anymore.Some say Jesus died for our diseases as well, then why aren't we all healed? Others say that this is not true and that the bible doesn't say that everybody will be healed.
Once I tried it after reading a book about faith and healing and I knew that this is a huge step and I also knew that it's dangerous cause I have no experience when it comes to healing and I also don't know how to behave when healing doesn't manifest. But in spite of this I tried it and even threw my medicine away, which was not a good idea...
Why didn't God reward this? I took a step having faith and what was the result? Everything became worse! After proclaiming my healing and accepting it, like the book said everything became worse and in the end it became to much for me and I went to the doc and I was glad when it was over and I simply searched for reasons why God did not heal me simply to end this whole thing. I just couldn't live with the pressure anymore. This book said that healing is there for everybody and basically when you do not get your healing it's all your own fault cause you doubted and I felt so miserable I felt like I messed it all up.I felt like God wanted to heal me so bad and I messed it up even though I tried to believe as hard as I could. I proclaimed stuff and read the verses about healing in the bible and it only became worse. 
This is really great. Such an experience kills your faith in healing completely.
I don't even have to try it again cause why should it work this time? My faith is much weaker than it was when I first tried it. I just don't get it. Why did God not reward it and heal me? Everything would have been fine and my faith would have gone thru the roof but now my faith is really low. This is great. And I don't even know why I wasn't healed. I think what these people teach is very dangerous. They say that everybody gets his healing all he needs is enough faith and when you're not healed then it's because your faith was too weak. Not being healed does already suck and then having to think that you messed it up because of your weak faith makes everything even worse.
And I have so many things where I could need healing but I don't even dare asking for it cause I know that it cannot work cause I have no faith left.This is fantastic. 
Posted by: Ericsmom
I can understood your frustration. Yes, I do. We all want what we pray for when we pray for it - immediately. You know the Bible says that God wants us healed b/c you've read them. Glad you're back on your meds. God isn't a genie. But we are to speak His Word, believe that He will answer, and leave the rest up to God. It's His timing not ours. It's having faith. And I'm posting this info as much to myself as well as trying to help you with this difficult question.
Posted by: Frederik
But the problem is that I don't know why it didn't work.
Did God simply not want to heal me now or did I mess it up and not have enough faith? There is a huge difference between those 2 possibilities.This is the problem. When I know that God simply had other plans then it's easier to accept than having to think that I messed it up.
Romans 8:32 "He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?"
When I read something like this then I feel really bad cause I don't understand why I wasn't healed.
But on the other hand can we expect God to heal also small things which are not life threatening? Maybe this is not important enough. 
Posted by: StarChilde
Frederik, if you thought with your HEART, as much as you thought with your head, your faith would move mountains.
Will post more later, as Brendan needs taken care of at home now~
Posted by: Frederik
How can I believe that everybody is healed instantly when all he needs is enough faith? First of all I don't think that this is correct and even if it was correct then most likely I would mess it up cause I would become scared of doubting and messing it up and exactly this would happen.