Pages: 1
I am typing in tears...my assistant pastor's wife just lost the baby!
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)
Posted by: SERAPHIM-ServingHimOnly
I am crying and hurting and aching.. the feelings and grief is unreal.... She was going into her eighth month and we were were all just playing with her tummy in church. During church she was smiling and telling her husband to feel her tummy and how tight it was getting...she also said she thought she was having braxton hicks contractions and we all made jokes about her having the baby early... Oh, the glow on Carmen's face yesterday was so beautiful. She was so excited. Especially when about 9 of the church children were running around her. She had two early miscarriages before this pregnancy. She was in the eight month. His name was Alston and we adored him already. This is devastating. Right now Carmen and Tod are at home but they have been told that she will have to come to the hospital and be induced to... deliver Alston---Still Born! They have only been married for a year and a half and already have lost 3 babies. I have to stop typing now.. I am too emotional. PLEASE PRAY FOR THEM!
Posted by: ANOINTED WARRIOR
Jesus wrap your comforting arms around all these people with your love and grace and begin to release a healing anointing in the midst of this all..
Posted by: Shannon25
Oh sweetie, please let them know they are in my prayers. I am in tears. I don't know what to say. I am so not good at prayers.
Posted by: KingdomWarrior
Praying for this family. I don't know how to pray here, so I will just pray in the Spirit.
I have friends who have lost several childreen. I have seen the pain that they have gone through.
Posted by: ninababy73
Please let Carmen and Tod know that they are in my prayers. As one who has lost a baby girl before I know their grief. May they be comforted in knowing that many will be lifting them up in prayers. Be blessed.
Father God, I pray for Your comforting peace to be with this family. Right now, I pray for Your angels to surround and soothe them. Wrap them in Your arms and wipe away all of their tears. Abba, they need peace right now. Grant it to them. I ask these humbly in Your name. Amen
Posted by: SERAPHIM-ServingHimOnly
Thank you all so much! If you knew Carmen and Tod... and witnessed what servants of the Lord they both are, you would see even more how much this strikes the hearts of everyone here.
Please also pray that people don't say the wrong things.. Someone has already made a statement to her that "after she gives birth to Alston, maybe they will find comfort in finding out that something was wrong with the baby." I am sure that they were trying to help but that was the wrong thing to say. I am a mother of two and I have had two miscarriages and with all of my children, I would love them and wantthem no matter what was wrong with them. Sometimes a quiet hug or a simple "I am sorry" will do. Pray that God provides people with the right things to say. I directed many of them through e-mail to *********
to learn more about what she is going through and provided them with a list of appropriate things to say at times like this. I do not desire to see these two hurt any further than they have been.
Thank You All Again.
Posted by: bluecatkeeper
Lord, please wrap your loving arms around this family. Bring comfort to them and help them to heal during this difficult time.
In Jesus Name, I pray this amen.
Lori
Posted by: SERAPHIM-ServingHimOnly
Thank you all so much. Carmen is having contractions and expected to go into labor tonight, if not, they are inducing and she will be having Alston tomorrow. I am still aching for them. I am in such a state of mourning and I just keep having all these flashbacks from their wedding to the sonogram pictures to her maternity outfits...to just all the fun we have had in wait for this baby. There were some sonograms with him sucking his thumb. They were so cute. I was wondering earlier about his last sonogram... the doctors made light of it but said he looked like he was playing with his umbilical cord. I can't help but think the poor little guy managed to wrap it around his neck since that sonogram. My worse and most haunting recent thought was that while she is giving birth, she will hear the cries of live babies and as she recovers, live babies will be escorted down the halls to their mothers for cuddling and breastfeeding. As she is leaving in her wheelchair empty handed, other mothers will be leaving with a baby, balloons, flowers, and teddy bears. This is horrific. I assume they will bury this child and I also think of the tiny casket..that there will now be a funeral instead of a baby shower. Everyone who knows are besides themselves... many think it is related to the church's last two Mission Trips to Haiti because all sorts of awful things have happened to almost everyone who is involved in our church's ministries. I left a message for her letting her know that we are there for them but I don't know how productive it was since I was crying as I offered these words. Well, that is where everything is now. I will keep you all updated along the way. Thank You again.
Posted by: akabezalel
You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, STOP the vain imaginations and START interceeding for this Family!
In PRAYER not just talk about it!
As a Christian you should know that dead is not dead until GOD says it is dead.
STOP whining and crying!
START PRAISING and PRAYING!
Even if this baby is dead, YOU and the OTHERS need to be strong for the Family!
The ONLY way to do that is to start standing in the GAP for THEM and for their Salvations to remain intact! and stop the pity party for yourself.
Father, I stand here in the gap for Carmen, Tod and Alston! Do not allow the evil one to win!
In the NAME of JESUS I break any and all curses off of their lives that may come for Haiti or any other source!
I rebuke you demonic forces and familiar spirits! Get off of this Family! In the Name of Jesus! I bind you and remand you over the Jesus for your punishment!
I Break Death, Hell and the Grave off of this Family! NOW in the Name of Jesus! Get out of here you have NO dominion in their lives!
I take Dominion in the Name of Jesus!
I plead the Blood of Jesus over this situation and speak life back into Alston!
JESUS, I know YOU hold ALL POWER and DOMINION on earth and You have given me permission and control to take Your Power and Declare Your Dominion for myself and others!
Jesus I speak life to Alsto, Carmen and Tod! Holy Spirit, do not allow them to lose their Salvation in any sorrow or grief!
Alston shall live and NOT die that he may be a living testimony to the LORD MY GOD!
I command his heart to start beating inutero and his breath to come strong and sure when he exits the womb! In the Name of Jesus! NO ill effects from whatever the cause was for his death! He shall live a testimony! and grow a Mighty Man of Valor for the Lord God Almighty! In the Name above ALL others! JESUS! AMEN!
Thank You Father! Thank You Jesus! Thank You Holy SPirit! Praise You! I Love You! Thank You! Worthy! Worthy!! Worthy!!!!!! is the Lamb that was slain! Worthy! Worthy!! Worthy is the Lord My God!!!! Worthy! Worthy!!! Worthy!!!!!!
Posted by: jb_1101
there are no words that one could say to ease the pain if the loss of a precious baby. my prayer is that she feel the love of jesus and the peace that bypasses her understanding, that she will not look for logical reason for why things happen the way that they do but, that our father knows...... my own sister has lost twins this way, however it was a long road to trying again and she is now pregnant. if i can say anything it would be this, do not let the enemy steal the promise. take the time to allow jesus to heal and start again, because the father promise them a child and he will fulfill his promise. when babies go back to heaven, i believe that they among the crowd of witnesses, shouting "stay the course, you are more than conquers" she is a might warrior in our fathers army. in jesus name, amen
Posted by: SERAPHIM-ServingHimOnly
I am sorry akabezel but that was just rude insensitive and uncalled for. Not that I needed to tell you but I have been praying for them all day and I am not feeling sorry for "Myself". That was very audacious of you to say. Do not attack my empathy for my dear friends. I may have phrased it "assistant pastor and his wife" but we are closer than some of my blood family. So I grieve.
Do not attack me because I can identify with them since even I have had two pregnancy losses myself. This particular area is another ministry that God has given me as God used me as a vessel to found an infertility support group almost two years ago and intercessory prayer is always done. So, yes, I cry because I have witnessed a great many things in this path. Yes I have pain right along with them but I never once asked anyone here to pray for me about this and the very things you prayed, I have already prayed for them I HAVE already asked for that same miracle today. You should reconsider how you address your brothers and sisters in Christ especially when you do not know the details of the entire story. I appreciate your prayer, Lord knows I do, but I do not appreciate your addressing me as if I never go to the Lord in intercession. I do not appreciate your addressing me as if I don't have a satisfactory prayer life because you do not know anything about that or the testimonies that God has given me to bear in life. It is incidents such as this one that often make me reconsider why I ever joined annointed.net. It is wonderful to be a prayer warrior but you mustn't let it go to your head so that you believe you actually have it more together than anyone else and that you are the only one that has a grasp of what intercessory prayer is. My church body and I have and are continuing to go to the Lord in prayer over this and He knows that this is the truth. With that being said, I bid you farewell.
Posted by: Shadow
PLEASE TAKE OVER, JESUS.
Let them find peace in your plan for their lives. Amen.
There is nothing so precious as tears of compassion for each other.
Jesus wept. Shortest verse in the Bible but one of the most powerful.
He wept for His friend's child.
Be blessed and at peace.
Shadow
Posted by: StarChilde
Seraphim-SHO, if you look at Carol's prayer subjectively, it was a wonderful and power-filled prayer. Yes, perhaps you DID already pray the things that she prayed for...but AGREEMENT, is a mainstay of Christianity, in brethren coming together and AGREEING IN PRAYER, for prayer requests! God CAN turn this situation around!
No one ever said or even suggested that you didn't have a prayer life, or wasn't an efficient prayer warrior. There could have been demonic attacks from this family's time in Haiti, we don't know. God does... better to pray against those things and be covered in that area.We are all sorry that you had the miscarriages in the past, but that is not what this prayer was all about... it was about your friends, and I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE AND COME INTO AGREEMENT WITH CAROL"S PRAYER:
Father, I stand here in the gap for Carmen, Tod and Alston! Do not allow the evil one to win!
In the NAME of JESUS I break any and all curses off of their lives that may come for Haiti or any other source!
I rebuke you demonic forces and familiar spirits! Get off of this Family! In the Name of Jesus! I bind you and remand you over the Jesus for your punishment!
I Break Death, Hell and the Grave off of this Family! NOW in the Name of Jesus! Get out of here you have NO dominion in their lives!
I take Dominion in the Name of Jesus!
I plead the Blood of Jesus over this situation and speak life back into Alston!
JESUS, I know YOU hold ALL POWER and DOMINION on earth and You have given me permission and control to take Your Power and Declare Your Dominion for myself and others!
Jesus I speak life to Alston, Carmen and Tod! Holy Spirit, do not allow them to lose their Salvation in any sorrow or grief!
Alston shall live and NOT die that he may be a living testimony to the LORD MY GOD!
I command his heart to start beating inutero and his breath to come strong and sure when he exits the womb! In the Name of Jesus! NO ill effects from whatever the cause was for his death! He shall live a testimony! and grow a Mighty Man of Valor for the Lord God Almighty! In the Name above ALL others! JESUS! AMEN!
Dear God, I know that You are faithful to Your Word, and to watch over it and perform it, in that it WILL accomplish that which You sent it into & WILL NOT return unto You void...
Isaiah 55:11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it And so I come into AGREEMENT with my brethren for the prayers offered here, and anyone else who prays for Carmen,Tod and Alston, and according to Your Word, it shall be done!Matthew 18:19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. So I THANK YOU DEAR GOD & give YOU the praise, honor & glory for being faithful to Your Word!
In the mighty name of Jesus, by the power of His blood, I break off every power of the kingdom of darkness. I cancel every argument in Heaven and spoil every attack of the enemy that has tried to establish itself against Carmen,Tod and Alston.In the name of JESUS, I cover myself and the ones reading this with the Blood of JESUS. I ask for giant warrior angels to protect us all.This I pray in the Name ABOVE ALL OTHERS~ Christ Jesus~Amen & amen
Posted by: SERAPHIM-ServingHimOnly
Hello Everyone,
I am sure by now you have all heard about Tod and Carmen losing their
precious little boy Alston on yesterday. Carmen was 8ms pregnant. After
inducing labor through medication, Carmen delivered Alston today and we were
all able to see him. He was a beautiful little boy with a head full of
black straight hair. He had beautiful fingers and toes and a beautiful
face. As Tod joked, little Alston has Tod's feet. His fingers and feet
were very long. Carmen is now in stable condition (physically) and will
most likely stay in the hospital until Thursday. The cause of death has
been determined to be the result of the placenta rupturing. The placenta is
the protective sac which surrounds the baby. Without the placenta, it is
impossible for the baby to receive oxygen, blood, nutrients etc...survive.
There is no medical rationale why this occurred. It happens in a few
situations.
God brought a living angel in the way of Maggie Bodman. Maggie is a Labor
and Delivery nurse who attended Briar Creek with her husband Bruce for
several months. Maggie was with Tod and Carmen the entire day during the
labor and delivery. Maggie kept us well informed and was a great comfort
for Tod and Carmen. Carmen had some difficult moments but the Lord brought
her out safe. As stated, she is in stable condition and needs alot of rest.
Needless to say, this is a devastating event and a time of grief. Firstly,
we must give ourselves and Tod and Carmen time to grieve. This is a sad
event and it is okay to cry and be in pain. Remember Jesus is touched with
the feelings of our infirmities. I believe God cries when we do. But as
the bible declares we can mourn but we don't mourn as ones without HOPE. We
have the blessed hope of the gospel that we will see Alston again in
Paradise. Please pray for the healing and comfort of Tod and Carmen. This
is going to be a very difficult time for the both of them. They will need
our prayers and much love. Carmen's family is here from Virginia and
Charleston. If you are able to bring by food for them at Tod's house please
contact Paula here at the office she is coordinating meals.
Being with the two of them today has strengthened my faith a great deal.
Carmen presented the gospel while we were surrounding her bed while she was
holding her baby. She stated that Alston was an evidence of God's Grace and
that if anyone did not know the Lord...they should use this opportunity to
come to know him...witness of what was going on today and know that God is
real. It was a powerful moving experience to see the Faith and Strength of
this couple. They knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they will see their
son again. This knowledge gave them comfort and strength, we also in their
presence were encouraged through this promise
It has not been determined about a memorial service. We will let everyone
know as soon as a decision has been made. Again keep the Tod, Carmen and
the families in your prayers.
Love you!
Pastor D
Posted by: StarChilde
It is sad that this baby didn't survive, or be brought back somehow... I know God could have done it. Why He didn't...only He knows. My condolences to Carmen, Tod, and to those who love them, and are grieving also. My half-brother was still-born. There was no indications that there was anything wrong. It was very traumatic for our family. My old church, this happened to the pastor's wife also, and a friend of mine too. Yes, it is sad... but we shall see those babes again. Comfort also to you Seraphim-SHO, for I know this may have brought up memories of your own losses. May God comfort you in this, as much as you need Him to be there, may you be wrapped in His ever loving arms, and held against His heart, and feel the immense love He has for you~
Posted by: SERAPHIM-ServingHimOnly
I appreciate the words of support on behalf of my friends. They truly need every prayer they can get right now. I also appreciate your consideration of my losses since I mentioned it in one of my posts. I do not dwell in my losses because they will be seen again and God has allowed me to be steward over two additional children on this earth so far. It is those experiences, however, that do grant me the ability to understand what Carmen is going through at this moment and pray for the things that I know she is going through right now.
Blessings to you.
Posted by: SERAPHIM-ServingHimOnly
My pastor sent out this e-mail this morning:
Good Morning to everyone!
I just talked with Tod this morning! He and Carmen have requested a
Memorial Service for Alston Brawley Alexander on this Saturday at 2pm at
Briar Creek Road Baptist Church. We are asking as many as possible to join
Tod, Carmen and their families for this service. In lieu of flowers, there
is a Children/Youth Education Scholarship Fund being set up in honor of baby
Alston. This is to honor the short life of Alston and also to honor Tod and
Carmen for their work with young people in our church and the community.
I am meeting again with Tod and Carmen this afternoon to work out the arrangements of the service.
Please continue to keep them in your prayers.
Love in Christ,
Pastor D
This information was passed on to me and I want to share it with you...
It's hard to know how to help someone who has recently lost a baby to
miscarriage or a stillbirth. Although you can't make the pain go away,
there are many ways that you can support the parents and help them deal with
their grief.
Steps:
1. Be there for them. Many grieving parents retreat from the world for
a while, so make an effort to keep calling, visiting and just letting them
know that you are there if they need you.
2. Acknowledge their loss, don't pretend it never happened. Even an
early miscarriage can cause significant and lasting grief to a couple, and
should not be ignored or minimized.
3. Listen to them. They may need to talk about the loss of their
baby; some parents een keep photographs of a stillborn baby that they like
to show to their friends. Just follow their lead, and talk when
they need to talk.
4. Offer to ehlp them commemorate their baby. Some parents choose to
hold funeral or memorial services to give them closure, while others choose
to fill a grief journal or special box with thoughts and mementos of
their lost baby. Aski if you can help them with any preparations they need
to make.
5. Help out by offering to field calls or answer letters and cards
until they feel up to it.
6. Remember that grandparents and siblings also grieve; although their
loss may not be as immediate or intense as that of the baby's parents, they
may still need some help getting through the next few weeks and months.
7. Take care of the parents as much as possible bring casseroles or
groceries, offer to help with cleaning and laundry, or just ask them what
they would like you to do.
Tips:
Refer to their baby by name, if they have chosen and announced a name.
(Alston Brawley Alexander) Many grieving parents are comforted by this
acknowledgement that their baby existed, even if only for a short time.
Warnings
Avoid saying anything that might make them feel guilty. Although they may
express feelings of guilt themselves, just keep reassuring them that there
was nothing they could have done. This is especially important for mothers
who may focus on little things that have no connection at all to the lost,
they aspirin they took or the wine they drank before finding out about the
pregnancy, for example.
Never say these phrases:
* "You can always have another."
They don't want another baby, they want this baby.
* "Now you have an angel looking after you."
They don't want an angel, they want their baby back.
* "It's for the best."
Best for whom?
* "At least you didn't know your baby."
Whether you held your baby in your arms or only in your mind, this baby is
real.
* "There must have been something wrong..." Wrong with me?
* "Did you do something you weren't supposed to do?
Did I cause this? How could I have hurt my baby?
* "I understand how you feel."
Even if you have had a miscarriage, every one feels their grief uniquely.
* "Have you ever thought of not having children?"
Yes, I probably have. I realize that I may never be a mother.
* "Be grateful for the children you have..."
It isn't a question of being ungrateful or not appreciating what I have.
Things to say:
* "I'm sorry."
* "What can I do to help?"
* "I'm here for you."
Remember to take your time and be kind and gentle with your friend or
relative. Every one has their own grieving ways and time frame. Don't expect
them to "get over it." Just be there and offer a shoulder and a comforting
hug.
Posted by: SERAPHIM-ServingHimOnly
This was the message:
Dennis just informed me that Carmen is still hospitalized and that we will be canceling the planned memorial service for Saturday. Would you send out emails to as many people as possible and advise them of the cancellation.
Don
She was originally to be released from the hospital yesterday----pray that her health returns quickly
Posted by: Frederik
I'll pray for them, this is really sad and hard to understand. 
In such situations people always say stuff like God also suffers cause this child died, but why didn't he somehow prevent it? I mean was God not able to prevent it? Or did he allow it because of a higher purpose which we cannot understand? 
The pastor put it really well, such kind of phrases would freak me out if I was them:
Never say these phrases:
* "You can always have another."
They don't want another baby, they want this baby.
* "Now you have an angel looking after you."
They don't want an angel, they want their baby back.
* "It's for the best."
Best for whom?