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Welcome to the desert

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Posted by: Frederik

I'm exhausted and trying to figure out why God doesn't seem to hear me.
I feel like there is something between me and him but I don't even know what. How can I do something when I don't even know what keeps me from him ?Every time when I try something like confessing sins or whatever and it doesn't work my faith becomes weaker, I mean the faith that I will have an encounter with God.I have tried so much hoping that maybe this is what keeps me from God but it never worked and now I'm at a point where I'm so tired and I don't even believe that it'll ever change.I want to lead a life which is in sync with God's will, but I cannot do that when God never does anything for me.
First of all I wanna be sure that God loves me and that he knows me, I wanna know him.I feel like I'm off God's radar and no matter what I try it doesn't work, this drains all my power.I think I'll give up "searching" for God, cause it doesn't work and it frustrates me so much. This doesn't mean I'm no longer a christian but I have to protect myself from all these disappointments.
I'm in the desert and it's really up to God to lead me out of there, I cannot do anything. and I don't have the strength to continue praying without ever getting an answer.Maybe God rather listens to you.


Posted by: drey1

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frederik
I'm exhausted and trying to figure out why God doesn't seem to hear me.
I feel like there is something between me and him but I don't even know what. How can I do something when I don't even know what keeps me from him ?Every time when I try something like confessing sins or whatever and it doesn't work my faith becomes weaker, I mean the faith that I will have an encounter with God.I have tried so much hoping that maybe this is what keeps me from God but it never worked and now I'm at a point where I'm so tired and I don't even believe that it'll ever change.I want to lead a life which is in sync with God's will, but I cannot do that when God never does anything for me.
First of all I wanna be sure that God loves me and that he knows me, I wanna know him.I feel like I'm off God's radar and no matter what I try it doesn't work, this drains all my power.I think I'll give up "searching" for God, cause it doesn't work and it frustrates me so much. This doesn't mean I'm no longer a christian but I have to protect myself from all these disappointments.
I'm in the desert and it's really up to God to lead me out of there, I cannot do anything. and I don't have the strength to continue praying without ever getting an answer.Maybe God rather listens to you.


And if the Jews gave up they were slaves onto Pharoah in egypt, we would have never have been lead to mount Sanai to receive the 10 commandments, or the bible, or the basis of Christianity! And if they gave up when they had to wander in the wilderness for 40 years, what then? And if they gave up during any ONE the other sacrafices before Jesus was ever born, what then?

The point is, you wait as long as God tells you to wait!

(If this even means anything to you!)

Lord I pray for Frederick and all those like him... that you grant them understanding and patience. Amen!


Posted by: Grammie

Many times I have been in the "desert" and felt much the same. Even though my prayers and faith may have been weak during the time I spent in the desert, I never waivered.
My theory was that "this was part of God's plan" and I needed to wait until he chose to complete his plan. Oh, yes I suffered frustration, discouragement, fear, doubt, etc, but I continued to do the best I knew how to wait.
AND GUESS WHAT? He brought me out in the wink of an eye, when I least expected it, and with abundant blessings. If I had given up, I would never have experienced his plan. Praise God I waited and WON.
And I now have many testimonies of miracles because I did wait.

Heavenly Father, give Frederik your love and patience. Show him signs of hope with your peace and calmness. Quinch his thirst as he waits in his "desert". And I thank you Lord Jesus for what you have planned and the abundant blessing you have for him.

In Jesus Name, amen


Posted by: JeriRose12

God, send streams of living water into the desert Federik is in! the Bible promises "Out your belly shall flow rivers of living water!" Make it a reality for Federik! In the Name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, I anoint you, Federik, for the baptism of the Holy Ghost and fire! Jesus, fill Federik so full he doesn't know what to do. I am overflwoing, so let some splash onto Ferderik! Please send this anointing through the computer screen! God, I am so hyped, so up, so thrilled in the Holy Ghost, I feel like Benny Hinn! I will explode if I don't give some away. Please touch Federik with some! Send the fire, the glory, the wind, the rain, the oil, ther anointing. I cry out to You, Lord! Wash over Federik with Your grace and mercey. Send liquid fire, waves of love. Oh, bless him beyond belief! May he not lay his head down this night before he feels Your touch! SICK HIM, HOLY GHOST!!!


Posted by: Beth

Frederik,

Please know that Jesus knows the desert. He was there for 40 days and 40 nights. Do not give up! Push though this. Make sure what you are praying for lines up with the word and will of God. He will bless you. You are the apple of his eye. Jesus would have died on the cross if it were only to save you. You are special. Sometime we have to wait for the answers and blessings that God has in store.

Right after I got your note telling me you prayed for me Steve call and it was the nicest conversations we had in a long time. For me your prayers were golden.

Dearest Lord,

I ask you to bless your son Frederik. Lord I ask the you show him your love and how much you care about him. I ask that you send angels and Christian into his path that will help him. Lord give your water and show him your ways. Lord show him that time spent out in the "desert" is not wasted but is for your glory and purpose. Lord lift him up and take out of the desert give him rest and bring him into the green pastures of your love. Comfort him and keep him. I ask you to sent the Holy Spirit to walk with him and show him your ways. Lord I ask you to pour out your blessing to Frederik. Lord please note Frederik's kindness that he was in a desert but he was kind enough to pray for me and Steve and many other people. Lord show him that his prayers are not wasted.

I ask Lord that you do a special work in his life. I ask that he walks with you all the day of his life. That he always feels special, that all his needs are met.

I ask this in Jesus most holy name.

Love In Christ

Beth


Posted by: JeriRose12

Federik, you also prayed for me about needing eyeglasses and such, and the Lord provided $400 to cover the cost of my glasses. So don't say he doesn't answer your prayers.

You are always praying for others inspite of your struggles. THAT is faith! You know what I believe? It's like Moses on the back side of the deseert! God has a huge call on your life, and some day you will come into that call, but God is preparing you as He did Moses. I pray it isn't forty years as it was for Moses.

Touch, Lord, touch....Fire, Lord, fire! Bless Federik mightily!

JeriRose


Posted by: Rebecca,Isaac

Well Fredrik, You said it best when you said you don't get into that lovey - dovey stuff. Duh...... Why do you think God did what he did for us? It had nothing to do with being MACHO. Get with it man. That site I wanted you to visit consisted nothing other than scriptures from the Bible. God gave his only begotten son for you,out of PURE love. Get used to it,and get with it. There is nothing more manly than loving your Father, OK . Okay now you have an idea of how - Now are you up for the challenge? Good Luck , brother, I am praying for you!


Posted by: Rebecca,Isaac

Sorry I spelled Frederik wrong


Posted by: lburgess24740

Federik,

You prayed for my friend teresa, and she said her pain has eased today and she didn't take any pain pills today.

Lynn


Posted by: Frederik

Thank you all for your replies.
I am glad to hear that a few of you had your prayers answered but I cannot really believe that this is because of my prayers.
I am not the only one who prayed for you and I don't understand why my prayers should be such a blessing.

As for being in the desert...
The problem is that I have never seen anything else than the desert.
I mean you can go through hard times, but when you've never experienced something different then it's much harder.


Posted by: drey1

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frederik
Thank you all for your replies.
I am glad to hear that a few of you had your prayers answered but I cannot really believe that this is because of my prayers.
I am not the only one who prayed for you and I don't understand why my prayers should be such a blessing.

As for being in the desert...
The problem is that I have never seen anything else than the desert.
I mean you can go through hard times, but when you've never experienced something different then it's much harder.


This reminds me of the following story:

There is a story of identical twins. One was a hope-filled optimist. "Everything is coming up roses!" he would say. The other was a sad and hopeless pessimist. He thought that Murphy, as in Murphy's Law, was an optimist. The worried parents of the boys brought them to the local psychologist.

He suggested to the parents a plan to balance the twins' personalities. "on their next birthday, put them in separate rooms to open their gifts. Give the pessimist the best toys you can afford, and give the optimist a box of manure." The parents followed these instructions and carefully observed the results.

When they peeked in on the pessimist, they heard him audibly complaining, "I don't like the color of this computer....I'll bet this calculator will break....I don't like this game....I know someone who's got a bigger toy car than this....."

Tiptoeing across the corridor, the parents peeked in and saw their little optimist gleefully throwing the manure up in the air. He was giggling. "You can't fool me! Where there's this much manure, there's gotta be a pony!"

The point is not to see all the bad things in your life, but to only see the good things. Be grateful for the things you DO have.

Unhappy was the guy who had no shoes until he met the guy who had NO FEET!

Frederick,
Can you meet the "optimist" challenge?
Can you be happy with what you have?
If you do get things that you want, what's to stop you from still not being happy? You would want more. You would get those, then want more. And you would never be happy!

Look at CJ (in my thread). He has nothing, is starving, boney, and so on... he is happy just to get a letter from me!

I would suggest you go to your local bookstore (or library) and get a book called "Awaken The Giant Within" by Anthony Robbins. If you cannot locate this book, private message me with your shipping information. I have a couple copies - I can send you one.

I used to have thoughts like you... but I read this book, and took the optimism challenge. From there, I had a better appreciation of everything (eventually including God).

May God bless you with the wisdom, understanding, and patience necessary to break through. Amen!


Posted by: Ragamuffin

Frederik - I believe all of us come in and out of the desert in our lives sometimes daily, the questioning, and feeling like He's not hearing you, it's all perfectly "typical" - Jesus cried out to His Father, "why have You forsaken me" when He was on the cross. It's a funny thing about being mortal, we want life to be a certain way, to hear God a certain way, to know that we know, and all of that makes us somehow think we are on to something. I hope I'm making sense. The thing is, faith is bigger than that, it's knowing that there IS no matter what. I struggle with my life, I struggle with the gifts of the Holy Spirit of been given and how I am to use them, and the why of it all. Why did my family have to come right out of the word "dysfunctional" when I was growing up and the word was only beginning to be used! But I have to trust, I have to trust is knowing that God sees the WHOLE picture, from beginning to end, and that He loves me. Sure, I want to feel that love like it comes from someone with skin on, and I want to hear God speak to me audibly, and I want a miracle to move in my life in a way I've never seen. I would LOVE to be a walking example of the proof that there IS a God, when in truth I feel just like the ragamuffin I am. But it goes back to faith, and there is also something more. I have read a lot of your postings Frederik, and I'm thinking, maybe, just maybe, the reason why this seems to never be enough is because God has so many bigger things for you. We are taught through the bible to be content in all circumstances, but the desires we have within us were placed there by God (distorted by the enemy, not God, I want to qualify that) and this place where we are is not our home - our home is in heaven with God, so we make due here, make the best of what we have, do what we commissioned to do, and look forward to what comes next. You know, Moses wandered in the desert with his people for those 40 years, because of his sin, he never entered the promised land - but he is with God, that I am sure of, it's written in the bible. That's something to think about. Just don't give up, because when you are too tired to pray, or too distraught, and you have the Holy Sprirt, the Holy Spririt will intercede for you with groans only God can understand. Ask God what He wants from you - what you can do for Him - then pay attention to what is going on in your life and look for Him in everything. He's there, He never walks away, it's US, we walk away, and He waits for us to return. Blessings to you through your journey...


Posted by: Frederik

* drey

Thanks for the offer but I have so many christian books at home and I never read them.I hate reading, if I really start reading another christian book then it'll be the bible cause this is more important than books written by christians.

* ragamuffin

In my case there come so many things together.
I feel like I'm doing something wrong or maybe I am not humble enough I don't know. It's like having a broken engine which needs to be fixed but you have no clue where the damage is located, this is how I feel.
I hear the stories from other christians which have been so close to God from the beginning and when they repent and pray they really feel the forgiveness and I feel nothing.
They have a God which is alive and tangible, I also want this really bad.
I mean how can I have a real realtionship with God when he just isn't there ? That's like calling somebody who never pick ups the phone and you just leave a message on the mailbox, this becomes boring sooner or later.


Posted by: drey1

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frederik
* drey

Thanks for the offer but I have so many christian books at home and I never read them.I hate reading, if I really start reading another christian book then it'll be the bible cause this is more important than books written by christians.



I wasn't referring to "just another christian book"... in fact, it wasn't even a "christian book" per say... It falls under the self improvement section.

Reading the bible, however, is a good idea.
I would recommend starting with a book called "The Tanakh". This is the original bible that Jesus read. 40 Rabbis working on the original hebrew scriptures to translate it to English. This would be what you call, "The Old Testimate". However, this makes sure you are reading the original version, and not one that someone may have changed in the centuries after his death.

In a sense, the first five books of the Tanakh (also called the Torah, also called "The five books of Moses") were written by God (or who you would call - "The Father")... not "just another Christian".

I do hope that something helped you. In order to make things better for yourself, you have to be willing to put something into your self improvement. If you are not willing to help yourself, then there is nothing anyone can do.

Still praying that you come to understanding and appreciation for all God has brought you.


Posted by: Frederik

I don't have a very high opinion of these positive thinkers.
I am not this way and trying to be this way would simply be fake.
I am the way I am.
Of course I can be happy all day cause I have legs to walk and arms to grab things but this doesn't really work.


Posted by: drey1

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frederik
I don't have a very high opinion of these positive thinkers.
I am not this way and trying to be this way would simply be fake.
I am the way I am.
Of course I can be happy all day cause I have legs to walk and arms to grab things but this doesn't really work.


Well then what if you lose your arms and legs? Maybe then you would feel differently!

You want to be religious, and you want God to hear you and help you... but it sure sounds like you are refusing help! You have to WANT help before you can get it! You can say you "WANT" God, but if you don't let God in, then it is your own fault! You have to WANT to be helped in order to be helped! Until then, there is nothing anyone on this site (or anywhere) can do for you.

I am sure that when you really truely do want help, and really truely do accept help, then you will be happy with the results. God is waiting for you.


Posted by: Frederik

It's really funny....
you are so quick blaming me just because I don't agree with your positive thinking stuff as if this changed something.
I am sure that my problems with God don't come from this.
You know what I think ? I think you are running out of ideas and now you simply blame me, after all it's all my fault when something between me and God isn't working.
I hope that not too many christians act like this cause blaming doesn't help anybody.


Posted by: drey1

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frederik
It's really funny....
you are so quick blaming me just because I don't agree with your positive thinking stuff as if this changed something.
I am sure that my problems with God don't come from this.
You know what I think ? I think you are running out of ideas and now you simply blame me, after all it's all my fault when something between me and God isn't working.
I hope that not too many christians act like this cause blaming doesn't help anybody.


God teaches love and happiness!

So yes, it is true... if you don't want help, none of my ideas will work! If you do want help, then I can help. In the mean time, you have 2 excellent sources I pointed you to in a previous post.

And I'm sorry you feel this way about me. I will leave it to everyone else... if anyone else has any ideas?


Posted by: Rebecca,Isaac

The fact that you are such a realist plays a huge role in your faith. Faith is beleiving without seeing.You can't do that as a realist.Which causes you to hold back a little where it concerns the love of God.Which inhibits your ability to receive the holy ghost.I have had problems with this myself.Beleive me,if I hadn't seen a few miracles in my lifetime,I may still be trying to rationalize everything.The fact that you prayed for these people is a rational reason as to why they feel better.God made you,he very carefully made you in his image,counted the hairs on your head,and planned the path you will take in your life.Therefore you must understand that if you ask for healing for these people,they will receive.You are worthy of his blessings.He has something awsome planned for you.Ask him what it is. I feel something HUGE is in your future(regarding your faith)that will completely change everything you have said here.I can't wait for this day in your life.I just wish I could be there to see it when it happens.Just don't stress on this so much,brother. I feel something great is going to happen for you one day.
I can't stress this feeling enough,it is so strong.You just don't know the wonderfull things he has planned for you.I feel that you are going to help so many people in the future.This must seem so silly to you,but I am telling you what I feel;I think I am being led to tell you this.Everyone on this board is praying for you,be prepared for answers.They may be subtle at first.God Bless You,Brother.


Posted by: Frederik

Ask him what it is. I feel something HUGE is in your future(regarding your faith)that will completely change everything you have said here.

Man, everybody on this board tells me about my great future, this scares me. I'm not John Connor.

Therefore you must understand that if you ask for healing for these people,they will receive.

I have prayed for a lot of things and they didn't happen, maybe these healing were really caused by my prayers maybe not.


Posted by: talena

Federik...

Take a look at your life. I can tell by your posts that you hide under a shroud of self defeat. Of all your posts too many are negative.

You are VERY doubtful, very negative, very self defeating, you have no patience, you do not WANT to worship God...

You do not want to be happy, or to sing, or be joyful.

You said it is up to God to lead you out of the desert...HONEY, He made you a huge exit sign about 2000 years ago. What YOU have to do is lift up your head and see it, stop being distracted by the "mirages" that Satan has put in your way.

I am going to tell you this...START WORSHIPPING GOD! Even if you do not want to. Sing praises to him, BE POSITIVE, be JOYFUL.

Worship magnifies God. When you dethrone God by NOT worshipping Him with praises and thanksgiving, you are open yourself to negative influences. You put yourself on a path of destruction.

What are you worshipping, who is the idol in your life? You BECOME like what you worship. You worship God, then you have joy and love and trust and patience. You put all your emotions and focus into other things you lose focus on God. Lift up God and everything else will fade into the background.

You want something from God? He wants something from you...He WANTS your praise, and thanksgiving..He wants to hear you sing BECAUSE you love Him.

Psalm 115:3-8 .... you become what you worship. you want to be closer to God, you need to get His attention. Worship God in singing, praising...whatever, just do it.

Still loving you and praying for you!
Talena


Posted by: drey1

Quote:
Originally Posted by talena
Federik...

Take a look at your life. I can tell by your posts that you hide under a shroud of self defeat. Of all your posts too many are negative.

You are VERY doubtful, very negative, very self defeating, you have no patience, you do not WANT to worship God...

You do not want to be happy, or to sing, or be joyful.

You said it is up to God to lead you out of the desert...HONEY, He made you a huge exit sign about 2000 years ago. What YOU have to do is lift up your head and see it, stop being distracted by the "mirages" that Satan has put in your way.

I am going to tell you this...START WORSHIPPING GOD! Even if you do not want to. Sing praises to him, BE POSITIVE, be JOYFUL.

Worship magnifies God. When you dethrone God by NOT worshipping Him with praises and thanksgiving, you are open yourself to negative influences. You put yourself on a path of destruction.

What are you worshipping, who is the idol in your life? You BECOME like what you worship. You worship God, then you have joy and love and trust and patience. You put all your emotions and focus into other things you lose focus on God. Lift up God and everything else will fade into the background.

You want something from God? He wants something from you...He WANTS your praise, and thanksgiving..He wants to hear you sing BECAUSE you love Him.

Psalm 115:3-8 .... you become what you worship. you want to be closer to God, you need to get His attention. Worship God in singing, praising...whatever, just do it.

Still loving you and praying for you!
Talena


Thank you Talena! Very well said!


Posted by: Frederik

But I don't know how to worship God.
And when I'm not feeling good I don't think I can worship God.
Worship has to be honest and not forced when you tell me that I HAVE TO do it to gain God's favor then I simply to it to get it, that's calculating.That's not honest. Worship has to be honest, this is what I think.
I also thank God for helping people but I am not a great praiser.
I feel pretty much left alone by God, I think it's comprehenSible that I am not good at worshipping when I feel left alone and angry.
When I sing to God and do just like everything is fine then I fool myself and God knows that I actually don't feel like worshipping.
I am not happy simply because I am not a happy person. I cannot open up and be free. Especially in church I feel like everybody's watching at me, I cannot sing in church.I cannot even sing and that's not a stupid excuse, I tried it and it sounds terrible. Maybe I could "sing" when I'm alone but I cannot sing in church.I'm sure that God understands that.


Posted by: drey1

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frederik
But I don't know how to worship God.
And when I'm not feeling good I don't think I can worship God.
Worship has to be honest and not forced when you tell me that I HAVE TO do it to gain God's favor then I simply to it to get it, that's calculating.That's not honest. Worship has to be honest, this is what I think.
I also thank God for helping people but I am not a great praiser.
I feel pretty much left alone by God, I think it's comprehenSible that I am not good at worshipping when I feel left alone and angry.
When I sing to God and do just like everything is fine then I fool myself and God knows that I actually don't feel like worshipping.
I am not happy simply because I am not a happy person. I cannot open up and be free. Especially in church I feel like everybody's watching at me, I cannot sing in church.I cannot even sing and that's not a stupid excuse, I tried it and it sounds terrible. Maybe I could "sing" when I'm alone but I cannot sing in church.I'm sure that God understands that.


Obviously you are not being *left alone* with all the support you have received from us on this site! You have a couple of extremely busy threads just loaded with people supporting you!


Posted by: porcupinesmith

Frederick this message of yours could be mine as well, I have said almost these very words before; I have felt crushed in dissapointment by not getting an answer to prayer but I know deep down that if you can just muster up a little faith; God will always come through

Pray for me brother (read my thread "Help!!!") and I will surely pray for you!!!


Posted by: lburgess24740

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frederik
But I don't know how to worship God.
And when I'm not feeling good I don't think I can worship God.
Worship has to be honest and not forced when you tell me that I HAVE TO do it to gain God's favor then I simply to it to get it, that's calculating.That's not honest. Worship has to be honest, this is what I think.
I also thank God for helping people but I am not a great praiser.
I feel pretty much left alone by God, I think it's comprehenSible that I am not good at worshipping when I feel left alone and angry.
When I sing to God and do just like everything is fine then I fool myself and God knows that I actually don't feel like worshipping.
I am not happy simply because I am not a happy person. I cannot open up and be free. Especially in church I feel like everybody's watching at me, I cannot sing in church.I cannot even sing and that's not a stupid excuse, I tried it and it sounds terrible. Maybe I could "sing" when I'm alone but I cannot sing in church.I'm sure that God understands that.


My singing sound terrible as well but the bible says make a joyful noise unto the lord. Sorry I can't think of book chapter and verse can someone help me out on that? But I know that it what is says. Doesn't say it has to sound good just be a joyful noise. So I sing in church anyway. I have gone to church and praised God when I really didn't feel like it but I always feel better afterwards.

Lynn


Posted by: unitedworld

[QUOTE=Frederik]I'm exhausted and trying to figure out why God doesn't seem to hear me.

I Frederik, i came accross ur prayer and sometimes i too do find myself in ur position. But everytime i fine myself in such a condition, a thought comes to my mind - i always remember the preaching given by one of our parish priest in church - it goes like this -

One day a man's soul after death goes stright to heaven, he loves everthing that he see's there - and later in the evening when he has a strool with Lord in the garden - they both discuss the man's life on earth.
In their discussion the Lord shows him all his life events with the footprints on sand. So the Lord explains all the different stages of his life, and in every stage he finds the lords foot prints along with him & seeing this he is really delighted. But after somtime later his face becomes very sad - the Lord ask for the reason - he explains Lord in the footprints u always was with me in my good times - and in my bad times when i needed u the most I only see my footprints -urs are not present - he complains - the Lord looks at him and says - my child i never left u alone in life - when u see only a pair of footprints it was during ur baddays and during those days I was carring u in my arms - thatz the reason u only see a pair of footprints.

My friend the lord is always with u and he love u and cares 4 u.

take care my friend