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how do i let go ??????
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Posted by: de_javue
i have one child, an incredible son, today is his birthday, he is 17, i am alittle bummed today because i know soon he will be grown and gone.. it scares me to death, i have lived my life around him, everything was for him, i have basically put my life on hold because i wanted him to have a good childhood, i did not want him to look back in 10 years and think no one cared and that his mom and dad were never there..
this child has been my life, my breath and my heart since i got pregnant.
i know we are to raise them, teach them, and let them go, but HOW DO WE DO IT????
i fear for his safety, i am afraid he will get hurt, or be harmed in some way.. i know it is just a chance i must take.... but how?
i have cried all morning just thinking about it... 
Posted by: christythompson
You precious son belongs to God. He knows the Love you have for him. He must be given life skills so he can make his way in the world. Right now he is only 17 and still your boy. Be thankful, not afraid. Let him learn and grow, but give him boundaries and expectations. When he does finally go, it hurts, you cry and then as you see them do good, you find thats what matters. Be careful to have your own life too. Be careful to not place the burden or guilt on him to meet your needs of being close to him. Don't let him see all this crying you are doing. Choose.....I mean make a considerate choice to Trust God, when You get scared Trust God. Hes not an adult yet. He is under your roof, so continue to be Mom, not a best friend. He still needs your rules, but some earned freedoms so he learns to make choices and even mistakes under your loving wings. I pray you both learn....both grow....grow and growup together!
Posted by: de_javue
thank you ..
you are right and i do allow justin freedom, he has a car, he works, but my thing is i know one day very soon he will leave home and after all these years of my life involving HIM i don't know how i can do it... i worry so much about him, i see terrible things happen to kids now days and it just really worries and bothers me, and i guess the fact i have revolved every aspect of my life around him, i wonder what will i do after he is gone???
i know its selfish, but i grew up basically alone and i vowed my child would know and have his mom and dad, he would know love and that we had his back, i never knew anyone but the lord that had my back as a child. and its just very hard for me
Posted by: StarChilde
de_javue... I know about wrapping your life up in raising a child, and being there for that child, except where our circumstances are different in that my son is severely disabled. For 24 yrs. I have taken care of him, and starting in January this yr., for the first time he was hospitalized... and now 4 times since then... he was put in a group home because ppl tried to convince me that I was unable to take care of him at home and that lasted for 3 wks. I could not bear being apart... I had fed him, changed him, bathed him, took care of him for 23 1/2 yrs. (at that time), and there was this HUGE void in my life and a wondering..is he eating ok, is he sleeping ok, is he this or that ok? After 3 wks., and one of those weeks being hospitalized... we brought him home, because it did not seem like home without him there... and I don't know how long we do have with him.
Take comfort in that you raised him, for this time...where he can be more independent of you, and be out on his own, and start a family perhaps... and then you can be a grandma! Take comfort in that you raised him right, and with morals and responsibilities, and knowing right from wrong... take comfort in that he CAN come home and see you anytime...Except for going to the hospital... Brendan will be here with us until he passes away... we don't know when that will be... but I know he will be going to be with God... take comfort in that your son will be able to come back to you when he leaves... when my son leaves...he will only be left in my heart and memories.Your son will be your son ALWAYS, no matter what... and just let him know that you are there for him, to talk to... I will say prayers for you in this situation~ God bless.
Posted by: christythompson
My Son is 25 years old. He was on his own at age 19. That was a little rocky for me at first. That was because my son, was using drugs. He went in and out of Jail 3 times. He was also saved before doing all of this. I cried my eyes out with real grief!!!!! Then after getting out of Jail for the 3rd time, he announced to me in a drunken state that he was moving to California to live with his Dad who never was in his life at all, not a christian and also a drug user. I am in Missouri. Well I did some serious crying then. He left Jan 24, 2003 on 10:40 in the morning and I am not counting. That Valentines day I sent him a card that I wrote "Home is where the Mother is". Well God did a mighty work in his life. He restored my son. My son got his Ged, got accepted into college, raised his own money for it I might add and is graduating in May 2005. I flew him home for spring break and he said he lost weight, why?....because he stopped drinking alcohol!!!!. He met a girl who gave her life to Christ and who he claims he is going to marry. He told her I would be her Mom too and she could come to me with anything. What a compliment!! So no matter what, God heard my prayers, knew my tears and although he is not home, he gave me my son back...TRUST THE LORD!!!
Posted by: mydestiny
Hello, one scripture kept popin in my mind as I read your request, Matthew 6:25-34, your son belongs to the Lord and so he will take care of him, do not be afraid that he does not know that you love him, trust me he does, I understand your fear, but fear is not from God, God should be first in your life though, if you place God first in your life, then all else will be taken care of by him, and his way is perfect, satan knows our weakneses, and he knows our fears, and he will go after what scares us the most, start proclaiming that you are not afraid rather than afraid, your son has had a good raising he knows what he can and cant do, Home is hwere the heart is, that saying couldnt be more true, most moms will tell you that after the children are supposed to be on their own is when they see them more!!! I pray that God will comfort you and wash away your tears, and that you feel his presence so strong that all this other seems menial to you, God will protect your son, and he will protect you too, you are not alone, and you wont be after your son leaves the nest, God is the best freind and companion you will ever have, place your trust in him, he will take care of the rest, be blessed and DO NOT WORRY