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Originally Posted by Benita45
Here it is Monday morning, its raining out, the house is cold and damp, thank God we have some electric heaters,I feel like the biggest failure that has ever lived, no matter how hard i try to provide for this family,, nothing,,nothing, nothing ever works out for us,, I feel like a rung out wash cloth,, no energy, no, desire, just depressed and crying, I dont have the money for the phone or the electric, I have no way of getting propane at 1.44 a gallon, I have had 3 jobs in the last 3 months, the first one was a city job, but i did not have the knowledge of the streets to drive, so i was let go, after i got stuck with 400 dollars worth of uniforms, the second job, at a hospital in food service, but because I sweat heavily facially, it was a matter of health code, the last one paid me 2.75 a room cleaning in a motel, I worked so physically that my sugar would drop to dangerous levels after two hours of work, the hospital said they would try and transfer me to a different department, but so far no word on the job in Customer Service, My parents dont care, they are the type of people that if you were laying in a gutter, they would walk over you because it might cost them money,,, I am so tired of struggling,, tired of crawling and scratching and always from the day i was born,, have had one bad thing after another happen to me,, In the 46years i have been on this earth,, I have been abused physically, mentally and emotionally by my adopted parents,, at 13 i was raped and almost murdered, by the time i was 18 I married the first guy who wanted to marry me,, and then our first two children died, even though we had two more children he got another woman pregnant and divorced me and married her,,, I married the second time, full blown alcoholic who abused me and the kids and never worked one day in our marriage,, in and out of jails,, lost two houses, I feel defeated, angry ,opressed ,depressed, the harder i try, the more i get kicked down , over and over again,, Im tired of it,, All i want is the chance to be able to take care of my kids and live a peaceful normal life,, Im not looking for riches, just a way to meet the neccesities, and once in a while the few extras, God am i asking to much,, Jesus, why do you allow the sinners all the rewards?
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