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A new beginning?
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Posted by: MortalGuardian
Dear everyone,
Thank you for your prayers. Do you know who I am? I used to be called "Despondent Soul". I changed my name! Many of you suggested it, and so I chose to finally do it!
I am keeping an open mind. Some of you said that changing my name to something more positive might actually cause a positive change in my life. Maybe that is true. I will let you know!
However, although Thanksgiving was awesome, and I thank God for my family....I am terribly lonesome again. Terribly lonesome. I have also felt suicidal. Please pray for me my friends.
I don't have time right now to go into explanations, but please just understand that I am alone, and cold. I am a 29 year old man, without friends, nor a girlfriend, nor a wife. I have been alone for ten years now, and the loneliness hurts more and more with each sunset. My heart feels like a steel vice is crushing it in my chest. I just want a special female friend in my life who accepts me. But at my Church, no one gives me a chance. Its time for me to move on to greener pastures. I will go to a new Church starting Sunday. I am sick of the hypocrisy and the corruption at my Church that I currently attend. I am dead sick of it!
Don't misunderstand me....there are some really nice folks at my Church. However, there are snobbish people too- especially females who are around my age range. It is so ironic that people praise these same females for being of superior maturity...and yet, those girls act snobbish towards me, and don't even give me the time of day!
Why? It doesn't make logical sense. It really doesn't. I have a new job now, and I am working for the first time in five years. I wasn't working for five years due to OCD- but now, I am much much better. I used to dress very sloppily at Church, wearing T-shirts and jogging pants. But recently, I have worn nice dress shirts, dress pants, and dress shoes. I got my long hair cut very short, and I now have a clean cut look. I always groom myself well, and wear cologne and nice deodorant. I take at least one bath every day, and comb my hair. I keep my nails trimmed, etc. I smell good, and I look good. My only flaw is that I am slightly overweight. I stand about five foot ten, and weigh about 270 pounds. But, in my opinion, and in the opinion of many other folks, I am attractive and handsome. So why do girls seemingly not like me? Why do they run away from me? Is it because I am fat? Is it because I live at home with my Mom and step dad? Is it because I am very very intense? Is it because I am highly intelligent? Is it because I am TOO nice? After all, I am extremely cordial, polite, and kind towards people. I say "Good morning" often to people, and say "Hello" to folks. But, admittedly, I am shy, and sometimes, I am very quiet. It's just my natural self. Why do people not like those who are quiet? What is so terrible about a meaningful silence? Would they rather me act like an imbecile and spout off nonsense constantly?
Please pray for me- and if you know what is hindering me, please write to me! Thank you so much.
Sincerely,
Blade
Posted by: StarChilde
I thank God for bringing about this change in you. The things you have said here, are much more positive than the last thread I read of yours... I like the new name too! *smile* I will continue to pray for you, even as I am praying now...
If those women cannot see who you are, and judge you because of being a little overweight, then they are not worth having. I have always said, that wrapping does not hide what is truly inside a gift. Taking someone for a date, or a mate, or even for a friend based on what they look like is shallow. I guess the flip side of that question would be, do you overlook women just because they are somewhat overweight?
Here is a prayer for you, for that OCD, and whatever else you want to put in it, God bless.
SPEAK TO THE MOUNTAIN
THE WORD OF GOD MADE PERSONAL
I SPEAK BY THE AUTHORITY AND POWER INVESTED IN ME BY CHRIST JESUS MY LORD. I SPEAK AGAINST YOU OCD; I CURSE YOU IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST. I CURSE YOU OCD, ALL YOUR SEEDS, ALL YOUR ROOTS, AND ALL YOUR FRUITS OF YOUR KIND I CURSE. IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST YOU MUST DIE AT THE ROOTS, YOU MUST OBEY, OCD, YOU ARE CURSED, JUST LIKE THE FIG TREE JESUS CHRIST CURSED ON THE DAY HE SPOKE TO THE FIG TREE. NO MORE! OCD SHALL YOU MAKE ANY SEEDS OR ANY ROOTS OR ANY FRUITS OF ANY KIND IN MY BODY. NOW, HEREAFTER, OR FOR EVERMORE. FOR I have BEEN BOUGHT AND PAID FOR IN FULL BY THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB AND MY BODY BELONGS TO THE JESUS CHRIST AND IS THE TEMPLE OF THE HOLY GHOST. THERE IS NO ROOM FOR YOU , YOU ARE CURSED, and YOU MUST DIE AT THE ROOTS IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST. IT IS WRITTEN I SHALL NOT DIE BUT LIVE, AND DECLARE THE WORKS OF THE LORD. BECAUSE WITH JESUS STRIPES I WAS HEALED. I LOOSE MYSELF FROM THIS, , RIGHT NOW IN THE NAME OF JESUS. A THOUSAND SHALL FALL AT MY SIDE AND TEN THOUSAND AT MY RIGHT HAND, BUT IT SHALL NOT COME NIGH . THERE SHALL, NO EVIL BEFALL me , NEITHER SHALL ANY INFIRMITY, DISEASE, OR PLAGUE COME NIGH MY or BODY OR DWELLING. BECAUSE , JESUS HAS GIVEN POWER TO TREAD ON SERPENTS AND SCORPIONS, AND OVER ALL POWER OF THE ENEMY OCD; AND NOTHING BY ANY MEANS WILL HURT ME . GOD HAS NOT GIVEN ME THE SPIRIT OF FEAR, BUT OF POWER AND SOUND MIND. THE LORD BLESSES ME AND KEEPS ME. THE LORD CAUSES HIS FACE TO SHINE UPON ME, AND HE IS GRACIOUS UNTO ME . THE LORD LIFTS UP HIS COUNTENANCE UPON ME AND GIVES ME PEACE. THE LORD IS MY LIGHT AND SALVATION; WHOM SHALL I FEAR ? THE LORD IS THE STRENGTH OF MY LIFE WHOM SHALL I BE AFRAID. I LOVE YOU LORD, YOU ARE MY ROCK, MY FORTRESS, MY DELIVERER, AND MY GOD, AND MY STRENGTH. BUCKLE AND THE HORN OF MY SALVATION AND MY HIGHTOWER. SEEING THEN THAT I HAVE A GREAT HIGH PRIEST, THAT IS PASSED INTO THE HEAVENS, JESUS THE SON OF GOD, I WILL HOLD FAST TO MY CONFESSION. BECAUSE I WILL OVERCOME OCD BY THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB AND BY THE WORD OF MY TESTIMONY. I WILL INCLINE MY EARS UNTO YOUR SAYINGS, I WILL NOT LET THEM DEPART FROM MY EYES; I WILL KEEP THEM IN THE MIST OF MY HEART. FOR THEY ARE LIFE TO ME , BECAUSE I HAVE FOUND THEM, AND THEY ARE HEALTH TO ALL FLESH. YES IN ALL THESE THINGS I AM MORE THAN A CONQUEROR TROUGH JESUS CHRIST THAT LOVES ME . I CAN DO ALL THINGS TROUGH CHRIST WHICH STRENGTHENS ME . I WILL LAY DOWN IN PEACE AND SLEEP; FOR YOU LORD ONLY MAKE ME DWELL IN SAFETY. I WILL BE OF GOOD COURAGE, BECAUSE YOU HAVE STRENGTHEN MY HEART, BECAUSE I HOPE IN YOU LORD. FOR WITH GOD NOTHING SHALL BE IMPOSSIBLE! NOW LORD, I GIVE YOU ALL THE PRAISE AND GLORY FOR WHAT YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW, THROUGH YOUR SON JESUS CHRIST, TROUGH YOUR WORD YOU SENT TO HEAL . I BELIEVE YOUR WORD IS TRUE AND WILL NOT COME BACK VOID TO YOU. I BELIEVES YOU WATCH OVER YOUR WORD TO PERFORM IT. I STAGGERS NOT AT THE PROMISES OF GOD IN UNBELIEF; BUT I AM STRONG IN FAITH AND GIVES GLORY TO GOD. BECAUSE I AM FULLY PERSUADED THAT WHAT YOU HAVE PROMISED, YOU ARE ABLE ALSO TO PERFORM IT. I WILL STAND ON MY ROCK, JESUS CHRIST, AND I WILL NOT BE MOVED UNTIL I SEE THE SALVATION OF GOD. IN CHRIST JESUS’ NAME I PRAY.............AMEN
Posted by: manda
thank you O Lord for continued healing from OCD for Guardian Your son
thank you O Lord for health that You have given Guardian
thank you for the job that he has got recently ! and bless this job o Lord
thank you for family that is still around him and bless them always
thank you for the well groom as well as new & fresh outlook that You have
encouraged him to have....
thank you o Lord for accepting Guardian as who he is, yet
improving him to be a better person outside, and most importantly inside...
for that o Lord, help him, bless him within his heart and mind...
for him to accept and love himself as who he is with the blessings that
You have given him....
help him o Lord to know You and get closer to You even more....
to heal this loneliness inside of him....
find him O Lord and make him Yours first and foremost, and make You his,
as he searches for that wonderful girl outhere that You have provided for him....
strengthen him and preserve him to continue to do right... to be courteous,
to be nice, polite and kind from his heart with the Grace of Your Spirit.... even to those who may seem ignorant to him.
continue o Lord to bless, strengthen, improve and mold Your son Guardian from his heart into the person that You want him to be.....
in Jesus name - our Friend and Healer, we pray amen.
Posted by: manda
thank you O Lord for continued healing from OCD for Guardian Your son
thank you O Lord for health that You have given Guardian
thank you for the job that he has got recently ! and bless this job o Lord
thank you for family that is still around him and bless them always
thank you for the well groom as well as new & fresh outlook that You have
encouraged him to have....
thank you o Lord for accepting Guardian as who he is, yet
improving him to be a better person outside, and most importantly inside...
for that o Lord, help him, bless him within his heart and mind... for him
to accept and love himself as who he is with the blessings that You have given him....
help him o Lord to know You and get closer to You even more.... to heal this loneliness inside of him.... find him O Lord and make him Yours first and foremost,
as he searches for that wonderful girl outhere that You have provided for him....
strengthen him and preserve him to continue to do right... to be courteous,
to be nice, polite and kind from his heart with the Grace of Your Spirit.... even to those who may seem ignorant to him.
continue o Lord to bless, strengthen, improve and mold Your son Guardian from his heart into the person that You want him to be.....
in Jesus name - our Friend and Healer, we pray amen.