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10 Commandments of Marriage

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Posted by: Ericsmom

Years ago I read someone's 10 commandments of marriage. I've searched the web. The ones I remember were - when "discussing" something don't use the words "always" "never" "you" "your" or "me" "I." Don't hit below the belt (in word or deed). Does anyone know the others? Thanks.


Posted by: CCR_girl

The closest one I found to that is:



10 Commandments for a Happy Marriage
by David Wilkerson

1. Even in your most heated arguments as husband and wife, never use the word divorce. Once the seed for divorce has been planted, it is very difficult to forget.
2. Do not think that intense disagreement means there is trouble in your marriage. Be honest when you disagree. Express your hurt. Let your feelings show. People who keep things bottled up inside are candidates for all kinds of illnesses. Just because you have intense disagreements, do not think that you are becoming "allergic" to one another. You're only human, and you might as well mark it down that you will have disagreements at times. Learn to get it all out quickly. Don't ever think of giving up your marriage because you are still weak in the area of communication. People who look for a perfect relationship are heading for disappointment. Never go to sleep angry. Take the humor stick and knock the stuffings our of your pompous attitude. Laugh at how ridiculous you both are.
3. Never make your mate the butt of jokes, privately or publicly. Making jokes about the stupid things your husband or wife did at home is another way of putting him or her down. Joke about anything else, but NOT your husband or wife.
4. Practice complimenting each other sincerely and often! It is not a sin to build each other up with sincere compliments. Anyone who can stand before a sacred altar with a partner and exchange vows for life surely ought to see enough good in that partner to talk about it. Quit sarcasm, and encourage each other instead. Wives tend to be as beautiful as the compliments their husbands pay them. They become radiant when told how attractive they are. And a husband will do almost anything to live up to compliments and encouragement of his wife. The Bible says, "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver" (Proverbs 25:22)
5. Never smother each other; set your love free! Create in the home an atmosphere in which your spouse can reach his full potential. Do not smother each other by not wanting to let one another out of the sight of the other.
6. Learn how to say, "I'm sorry!" --and mean it! Along with taking the initiative in saying, "I'm sorry," be ready also to forgive.
7. never shut each other out; be open at all times! Never "clam up" or walk out when things get shaky. It is wrong to say to your husband or wife, "Just leave me along. I'm going through a rough place -- let me work it out by myself. I just don't want to be around anybody right now." What is marriage all about if not sharing and helping one another through every crisis? You do not have the moral right to shut out someone who loves you. Keep the door of your heart open in order to accept help in time of need.
8. Make a conscious effort to keep the joy flowing! If "the joy of the Lord is out strenght" (Nehemiah 8:10), then strong marriages should abound with joy. When marriage loses its joy, it becomes weak and vulnerable. A happy home is the result of a joyful couple. Husbands and wives who no longer laugh and play together are losing their love for each other. There is a joyful childishness about true love. Marriages are suffering from too many sober husbands and sad wives. "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones"(Proverbs 17:22).
9. Never turn to a third party for consolation in time of trouble! There is always someone eager to console a hurting husband or wife. When there is no one to talk to at home, many go seeking a friend elsewhere -- "just someone to talk to." That is where almost all adultery begins. It may happen on the job, at the office, or int he church choir. Husbands and wives sit at home while thier troubled mates gravitate to a sympathetic friend. Secret affairs begin innocently enough, just talking about mutual hurts. Then follows the "leaning" process. All too often, they end in transference of affection and adultery. Never, never tell your marriage troubles to a third party, not even to the closest friends of your own sex. They may be the first to expose your troubles, and they are in position to hurt you when you need them the most. Lean of Jesus! He never tells anyone except the Father! It's true, there are so few to talk to about you problems, but husbands and wives should be each other's best friends. They should lean on one another. Leaning in any other direction may lead to a fall. The bible says, "Bread of dedeit is sweet to a man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel" (Proverbs 20:17).
10. Consult Christ about every detail of your marriage! Adam and Eve brought deceit into their marriage and then compounded their rebellion by hiding from God's presence. God never hides--only man does, but God was vitally involved with that first marriage, and He is just as concerned about every Christian marriage today. Marriages, without at least one partner who keeps close to Jesus, have less likelihood of survival. There mus be a hotline to the throne room. It works best when both husband and wife are talking to Him--but, if there is one partner running from God, it is imperative that the other be able to run to a secret closet for help and direction. A praying wife can often save the marriage--as can a praying husband. Human love is not enough to keep a marriage strong; only God's power can do that. That power is at work right now healing and keeping marriages! Divorce is the result of one or both parties losing his/her faith! Where Jesus is King, the marriage survives!


Posted by: CCR_girl

I, personally like this one better. It has scriptures references.




1.
KEEP GOD IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Eccl. 4:12

2.

TRUST IN ONE ANOTHER

Gen. 2:24

3.

HUSBANDS LOVE YOUR WIVES

Eph. 5:25

4.

WIVES SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS

Eph. 5:22

5.

EXPRESS YOUR LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER

1 Cor. 7:3-5

6.

LISTEN TO EACH OTHER

James 1:19

7.

FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER

Matt. 6:14

8.

DO NOT BE COVETOUS

Ex. 20:17

9.

BE FAITHFUL

Ex. 20:14

10.

STAY TOGETHER

1 Cor. 7:10-11




Posted by: angelofthelord

Here you go

1. Friendship: Ideally, before you marry you become friends. You really take the time and make the effort to get to know one another. In time that friendship begins to take on an innocent intimacy because you feel free to discuss personal issues you would only talk about to a true friend.

2. Relationship: Over time the friendship develops into a relationship. You begin to know one another more closely and, in time, there is an exclusivity about the two of you and others know that you are together and becoming one.

3. Love: As the relationship grows, love replaces like and there is sentimentality about the relationship that goes beyond acquaintance and becomes longing and need. You want to spend all your time together.

4. Commitment: Becoming engaged signals a commitment, one to the other, which, at the proper time, is solemnized with a ceremony meaningful to both parties and you have now become husband and wife with every intention of making the bond inseparable and permanent.

5. Fidelity: This is what you pledge when you marry -- forsaking all others and having an exclusive relationship wherein there is trust, constancy, shared vision and unquestionable loyalty to your mate.

6. Individuality: Each of you bring your own, individual and unique strengths and weaknesses into the marriage. While the act of marrying implies a melding of these, you each fell in love with the individual you are now married to and while a marriage is full of compromise, each must retain the individuality that made you fall in love in the first place.

7. Independence: Each of you must be available for the other to lean on occasionally but not to smother. Ideally, when times are difficult you lean together to combine your strengths. Neither should be wholly dependent upon the other but each should be able to depend on the other. Maintain the delightful independence which brought you together while working together for the common good.

8. Equality: Each of you must give 100% to the marriage and to each other, and more. No one of you is more important in or to the marriage than the other. Neither of you is subservient to the other. Both of you have equal responsibilities and equal rights within the marriage and your lives together.

9. Mutuality: In all things you must present a combined front to the world. There will be many things that may wear on or tear at your relationship but if you face them, strong and united, they can never prevail against you.

10. Spirituality: Whatever your independent and individual beliefs, marriage is a uniting of the spirit as much as it is of the flesh. If you have no spiritual belief in and bond to your marriage, you will be lacking that which sets us aside from the beasts of the field.