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reasons this is worth it

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Posted by: Copper

i thought i would write a list of all the things i have learned through out all of this, and try and be positive about it all and count my blessings instead of the pain overwhelming me so much.

1.
what true forgiveness is, and how,i am no different from anyone else, i am sinner too
2.
how not to put my husband first, as my idol
3.
about unconditional love, really , unconditional
4. to hold my tongue
5.
how to forget the past- how to let God heal my heart and help me forget
6. how to seek the good in people
7.
how to lean on God, and that many times i will try and revert to old ways and have to once again remember to lean upon Him and His understanding not mine this is a cycle i follow, and need to break
8.
How to listen for God's voice
9.
how many times i have a period ofspiritual closeness to God, and then satan comes at me hard, therer are a constant period of him trying to defeat what i have learned
10
my significance is in God not my husband
11
how to see husband through God's eyes
12
how to trust my husband
13
my place and what it means to be the wife, many times i take the husbandry role
14
how to seek God's will for my life, not my will
15
to not look at the physical realm but the spiritual realm
16
howto serve the Lord even inthe midst of th3e storm
17
how i reacted wrongly the first three times we went through this, and to become stronger so i don't act that way again
18
how i get mad and take it out on others when things don't go my way, nd i need to take this to the Lord, and not push husband away further over and over and expect change overnight
19
how to pray specifically for husband and others, and not to focus just on him all the time,
20
how to be a better mother, ie sewing and taking care of home, playing with children, cooking
21to be a proverbs 31 woman, take care of myself spiritually put God first be humble tkae care of home and womanly duties
22
how satan uses husband to keep my focus off God, have to learn to be strong in the Lord, so when God returns husband, will not be pulled away
23
that i am no match for satan's forces or powers and must rely on the Lord
24
how many times i have taken my hands of fthe situation and every time take it back, have to quit this and trust the Lord with my life and circumstances, how to know when to talk and not, how to respond to situations God's way
25
how the world doesn't revolve around me and my feelings, how it should revolve around Christ
26
howe to not fear the world, how to learn about the world and coexist with it to reach others
27
confidene in the Lord, confidence tottake part in church funcitons and give back, not not feeling good enough anymore, no more person in the back of my head saying, ur not pretty enough or whatever, how God's love for me covers anything and i can be a part of him
28
how i always put my looks so high, my pride, how to give that to God, to acknowledge yes he has blessed me, but i can't rely on that, this body is dying, and i must focus on the inside and let the pride go
29
how i continually mess up God's breakthroughs
every time, and i need to just clam up and shut up
so He can work

so much more i guess i will keep adding as i learn

seems i had to learn these things over and over, howmanytimes have i written in my journal about them, i feel so stupid, to have to do this time and again'
maybe He will make it stick now.

patience.
sums it up.

not a fast food world, nope no way

and only He can fill the hole inside.

luv u all,
copper

i almost forgot! most important reason!!!!
so God can be glorified,

boy the pain, but is worth it, just like Jesus did what he did to glorify God.


Posted by: babs627

Copper, these words are beautiful. May the Lord continue to bless you with strength, comfort, love, and peace. You will be in my prayers.

Barbara


Posted by: j4jesus

Copper,
It is so awesome to read about how you are growing in the Lord. He is our only hope, keep on in the faith!
Father, in the name of Jesus, protect Copper from the evil one on all sides with your angels. Put a hedge of protection around her and her family & a wall of fire. Show her a deeper revelation of who you are & what she means to you, the depth of your love cannot be expressed by human words. Continue to show her your ways are higher than hers. Bless her family & may they all grow in you Lord, amen.


Posted by: wanting_my_Fathers_eyes

Wow, you pretty much carbon copied what I have been learning and learning....again and again. And I agree, boy the pain. But he promises that our pain will not be in vain! We are being refined to become more like HIM! Looking at it that way, as long as He is my strength through the pain, I will endure it for Him to be more like Him. I lift you up right now, Father in Heaven, please just hold Copper and let her know without a doubt that you are in control! You will guide her and give her the protection she needs. The answers are on the way, even while we are praying! You know our needs, Lord. Thank you for what you are accomplishing in all of our lives! We thank you in advance for bringing us blessings beyond what we can comprehend right now! Thank you for saving us from our sin, so that we can spend eternity in heaven with you, praising you always....with no sorrow or tears! We love you Lord. In Jesus precious name, Amen.


Posted by: anneo

Hello Copper, This too was me, all of it to a tee-I have given it up to God-though it still hurts-I know in my heart this is the only way to heal and let god do his work...and idolization I am guilty of too. Giving it to God and praying has helped me tremendously...we will do this together.

how many times i have taken my hands of fthe situation and every time take it back, have to quit this and trust the Lord with my life and circumstances, how to know when to talk and not, how to respond to situations God's way

Father, thank you for letting us see through your eyes and giving us the peace we so seek from you...I pray that this and all marriages are given to you to heal and repair..Amen

God Bless, Anne


Posted by: Copper

yah it is cool


i think, when i get throughthe painful moments i sit and realize, i don't NEED him anymore, i am just missing him, really i miss the Lord, more. i don't really miss how it was with him, i just have hope in God, that the future would be different.
i like when the Lord is close, and when he comes around the Lord feels far, somehow i have to learn to mesh the two together, and i don't htink that is something i can do, only God can do it.
i'm actually happier with him gone.
i hate to say it, i think i inside wish he wouldn't come home, sometimes. and i doubt God's ability to change him, i also realiez this affects how i treat him, which is wrong.
it isn't right for me to judge him, i am to support him fully as Christ would support him, only when he is choosing right, he is choosing wrong, now, therefore i cannot support his decisions.

anyway, it is good to learn.
and i am happy with that.


Posted by: anneo

Hey, I was amazed at your post-I really could have wrote it...I can't understand why I want someone back in my life that is walking such a dark path...I think it is 21yrs. afraid of being alone. I do love him, but I would not take him back the way he is...I pray for Lynn to be a new man. If he came back the way he is-I believe my focus would be on him again, I am not yet strong enough but I am getting there...I am focusing on the Lord and it feels so good...the people he has put in my path is awesome...as I said, we will do this together...my prayers are with you Copper for strength and peace..Letting go is the best thing...letting God do his job.

God Bless, Love, Anne

I tried to private message you, but your mailbox is full


Posted by: Rachel R

I can't imagine what you are going through!

It is amazing to see what you have already learned.

Pain is bad and I hate to think of your suffering.

I'll continue to pray...

Rachel R