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Just a question 4 you.
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Posted by: joeyfoxj
Hi Jerry,
I was married last year in January & it has been really traumatic. During one of our splits apart, my husband registered on a Christian Singles Dating Service on the internet on the computer at work. I confronted him about it (as I have access to the computer & found it myself). He says he didn't do anything wrong, that we weren't together(he is a born-again Spirit filled Christian). He mocks me and tells me to grow up cause I feel it's really wrong. We,ve had many arguments over it & still he justifies it. He won't go to the Leadership at Church to discuss it. Our marriage is almost over.
The question is: Has what he's done violated our Marriage covenant?
Thank you. I trust you will speak what the Holy Spirit tells you and I thank you.
God continue to Bless you and use you in the mighty way He has been & even more!
Thank you Jerry.
Anyone elses comments would be appreciated too, Thank you.
Posted by: MamaCat
Since you've been married a little over a year and already have had "many splits" I am wondering if this marriage was meant to be? Only you can answer that.
Even "spirit filled Christians" have free will to choose to walk in faith or in their flesh. And I have learned the hard way that you cannot make anyone do what they do not want to do. Obviously your husband is not acting like a Christian at all, let alone a spirit filled one. Separation isn't the same as a divorce and he has committed adultery in his heart by joining this singles group. His attitudes are not Christian, either, mocking your beliefs and opinions about it. Do you really want to live the rest of your life with a man like that? Emotional and mental abuse can lead to physical abuse down the line.
That being said, nothing is impossible with God. He can restore your marriage and make it the Godly marriage that I know you desire it to be. You are going to have to give your husband over to God. You are going to have to pray for him, really pray for him, as in spiritual warfare. You didn't say if YOU were a spirit filled Christian, so I will assume you are. If you are not, spiritual warfare will not work. If you ARE, then bind the demons oppressing and influencing him [he still has free will to chose life or death, however, but without demonic influences, it will be easier for him to choose life].
Pray that the LORD manifests Himself in your husband's life in a way he cannot deny or explain away or ignore, pray that the LORD gives him dreams and visions of heaven OR hell, that God saturates his heart with love and compassion, that every path he takes toward sin and death will be blocked, that any sin he does get into will make him sick, that's the Holy Spirit will overshadown him, that every way he turns he runs into yet another Christian somewhere.....you get the idea. Even if you and he divorce, his salvation is still something you should desire for him to keep.
Spend time alone with God and listen for His voice and direction. Only He knows how things will work out. Don't put faith in what you SEE or HEAR or don't see or hear, but keep your faith in God alone no matter how long it might take, regardless of the outcome, regardless of circumstances! God knows your heart and your husband's heart. He knows what is best for both of you. Be ready and prepared to let God have His way in your life whatever way it may take or turn. Then stay out of God's way! [I speak from experience here!]
I pray God will show you His will and His desire for your life, that He will give you wisdom and grace, love and compassion, patience and perserverance for the road ahead, that He'll keep your path lit and your way straight, that He'll give you the desires of your heart and a life filled with His purpose, His joy and His peace. In Jesus name. Amen.
Posted by: anneo
I pray in agreement w/ mamacat and the others-Lord work your will on this marriage-restore is to where is is meant to be-I ask this in Jesus' name, Amen
Posted by: joeyfoxj
Thank you mamaCat for your reply, I printed your prayer out and have it up on my kitchen wall. Yes, I am a Spirit-filled Christian.
I long to have an on fire Christian walk. I've had snippets of it and then it's like I get totally bowled over & flattened.
But God is Bigger than this I know, and I do appreciate your prayers, thank you so much. Also thank you to anneo for your prayers, It is so encouraging to know someone's praying.
Posted by: prophecy
I just wanted to tell you how I feel about this situation. I've gone through something similar. My husband and I have had problems since we've been married too. He is also a spirit-filled christian. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean they HAVE to listen to what the Spirit is telling them. Everyone has fleshly desires. Even pastors. My pastor has told our church that we have to kick out those desires with the Word the moment they come. We can do that by humbling ourselves and reading the Bible, or listening to others that God is speaking through. It doesn't matter who. In our hearts we know what is right, and know when we hear what is right. But we have to WANT to do what is right. My husband was looking at porno. on the net last year. The only way I got over it and forgave him was to stop relying on everything he did, and start relying on how I was spiritually, and in our marriage. Since then, I have grown closer to God in my relationship with Him. And recieved the knowledge and support of the Word to prove to him that what he was doing was wrong. I have also become a better wife, mother, and person altogether. I have had people just come to me and say "I see good in you. I see you're doing what you're supposed to be doing in your relationship with God". I'm not trying to toot my own horn. Just saying. YOU do what God is telling you. And gain more freedom by gaining more wisdom from God. If you show your husband that you are rightous to God, he will either be convicted or leave. In God's eyes he has already done the ultimate sin against his wife. If he leaves and you KNOW you did everything right by God, you will heal faster. My husband has seen so many errors of his ways since, and we are on a road to healing in more ways than one. Also, if your husband doesn't want to talk to your pastors, you do that anyway. Personally, sit down with them & tell them everything you know and want to know spiritually and naturally. It will help you spiritually & emotionally. And obey what they are telling you. As long as it's proven in the Bible. Our pastors have told us, "You can't expect others to change until you do." So first ask God to help you in changing your heart. I hope I'm not confusing you. I hope this helps. I will remember your name and lift you up to God in my prayers. 