Pages: 1
Forgiveness is the best gift.
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)
Posted by: outofreach
My name is Shayna, and I am currently 13. On the surface, I'm sure I appear to be a good girl. I'm very, very modest. I was born into a messianic-jewish family. I was baptized when I was 6 or 7 (I can't remember). I have strong religious convictions. I'm what's considered a right-wing Christian fundamentalist.
I have been looking at pornography since I was 9.
Two years ago I tried to kill myself. My parents think I did this because I was failing in school and didn't have many friends. That's what I told them, it was a lie. My actions disgusted me, sometimes I would go for a month or two without looking at it, and it would be out of my mind. But because of my previous exposure, when...you know, hormones started emerging, I felt drawn back to it. I couldn't go a week without sexually molesting myself. I was scared of my actions, how they might affect me, and how they might affect my younger brother, who turned 8 a few weeks ago. I felt horrible. I wanted...no, I needed forgiveness. And just this moment...I think I got it.
It's like walking on air. Forgiveness, that is. Before I've made many decisions. I've said "I'm never doing this again.". But I always did.
I've 'prayed', you know? Just a quick little thing, but today I think was the first time that I've ever done it in earnest. In fact, I'm having some trouble typing this because I keep crying.
I have forgiveness, I know it. My inner demon has been killed by his light.
PRAISE BE TO YESHUA, SON OF THE MOST HIGH GOD
Posted by: MarkSentMe
AMEN!! 
Welcome, Shayna, You Are A Child Of God! Peace be with you. I am proud of you for asking for and receiving the BEST gift there is- forgiveness.
Have a blessed day-
Sharyn