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Emotions acting up.

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Posted by: FriendOfGod

Hello everyone. I am kind of depressed right now. I was worrying about my finances and fear that I would be unable to pay for certain extra expenses that will be coming up, that I would have been able to cover had my tax refund had not been seized. Like I said in my other thread that first informed everyone of my tax refund seizure, I will have bouts of depression as I recover from this setback until the promised alternate source of funds are made available. I know that I will have to pay for my text book for class next month. My job pays for tuition, but not for books. It will have to come out of my paycheck, leaving me with less to live off of. I will have to bum my uncle for enough money to pay my property taxes. I also lost my glasses. I already have extra expenses, without knowing whether extra funds are coming to meet them as it is. How can I add glasses? Please pray that they are found. I have been to the best of my ability professed God's word over my needs. Everything's just blah, right now.

Another thing, one of the few things if not the one thing that appears to be happening that has a hope and a future is my relationship with Pete. Under God's guided direction, I am growing to love Pete. But my healthy feelings for him are mixing with my depression, and that's not so good. Satan is tempting me to turn to him for happiness instead of God. I have prayed that God not let me fall into that trap and not to get blinded. I need to be strong. He has been on my mind constantly. We just got together Sunday, after not seeing each other for three weeks. He is such an endearing man. I can talk to him about anything. He listens, unlike other men. He truly cares. Like me (and Joyce Meyer) he has been hurt and rejected. Such a sweet guy. Passionate about Jesus Christ. All I want is for him to be happy. But I will not go any further discussing this, becuase I will just go on forever. Sniff, I got tears in my eyes. No, I did not kiss him! God told me definately no! However when we said goodbye Sunday, I threw my arms around him and squeezed him tight, in response to his invitation for a hug.

Speaking of Pete, Satan is lying and telling me that my trip to Phoenix will be cancelled. I am fighting these doubts with everything I got professing by God's word that I am going and that I will have a good time. I believe its insecurity due to my tax refund seizure and the bitter dissapointment of my trip to California being cancelled. But unlike Phoenix, I did not book California. I believe that God is shedding his grace, mercy favor and blessing upon my trip out there. I believe God will lovingly, graciously, and faithfully bless this trip even moreso than my previous trips including my trip to see Ann and my trip to the Smokies with Rachel! About the glasses ealier, allright allright I confess, I need to be able to see clearly the beautiful Arizona scenery. I am nearsighted. Things farway are blurry. Oh, I've just got to find my glasses! They are expensive!

Please pray for God to pour out his blessing like never ever bfore on me. Pray for God to flood my heart with peace, hope and comfort. Pray that God will continue to make sure that I do not go broke. Pray for the extra funds I need for my property taxes, Text Book, my dog's veterinary check up and vaccinations before his retest in June, and of course for my circumstances to be favorable around the time of the Phoenix trip. I will need to be able to budget the trip's incidentals using my paycheck money, if not by extra funds. Pray that God protects my relationship wiith Pete, by guarding my heart and restraining me, to allow for our friendship and relationship to continue to grow naturally as he intends it to. Pray for God's love and peace and presence to be felt in my heart. Pray for everything to be allright, Please! God Bless You All!

Your sister in Chirst

Janet


Posted by: MarkSentMe

Dearest Janet,
I am praying for God to help you sort through all of this. I am praying that he helps you to categorize things into perspective. Reading your post, I was flooded with emotions from all angles and I don't have a problem with depression; it's just that you have several things going on at the same time and they are all running into each other. Aye aye aye!
I know it's difficult, but please try to give your past hurts and disappointments to God. They do you no good now and hanging onto them is a barrier to your happiness. It is a block from you being able to truly enjoy the blessings God has for you.
Peace.
Sharyn

DEar God,
Please help our sister Janet to open up and let your blessings pour down. Please help her to let go of her past disappointments and the things which hurt her. Please help her to stay focused on you and to understand your plan for her. Please help her to grow in her relationship with Pete. Please send an angel to guide her and to comfort her. Please shine a light where there is doubt and darkness. Please help her to stay the course and keep her faith. Thank You,
Sharyn


Posted by: mysticangel1971

I am praying! God Bless!


Posted by: bluecatkeeper

Heavenly Father, PLEASE BLESS JANET!! She has served you selflessly and spent countless hours praying over other people's needs. Please shower her with financial blessings and let her taxes and other expenses be met. Please also nourish the blossoming relationship she has with Pete. Let the love grow between them.

In Your name, Amen


Posted by: FriendOfGod

Thank you all for your support. Thank you Sharyn for your great advice and support. Thank you Lori for your sweet dear prayers. God Bless You.


Posted by: FriendOfGod

I am generally in a good mood, however, I am not acting like myself. Last night, my best friend Rachel was extra demanding after being very late getting her and myself to the psychiatrist's office. We both see the same psychiatrist back to back. I told my doctor while I was there that I was suffering emotionally and about the things that were bothering me, the same things I posted above.

I knew that I needed to get my dog groomed and ready last night for our visit to the mental hospital tonight. Hmmm, maybe I should admit myself, just kidding! Well, after our appointment, she demanded that I take her to her boyfriend's so we could go out to eat. I knew that I had a big day today and that I would be late getting home. I also know that I am on a tight budget and can't eat out. I snapped at her last night on several occasions, raising my voice including using curse words in my sentences. I really feel that Rachel can get quite selfish. I was trying to explain to her that I have a life. I used to do too much for her and enabled her and the Gontareks too much. This wore me down really bad. I have been used by them before. Now, I have set boundaries and learned when to say yes and no. When Rachel makes a request that I don't think I should meet, I explain to her how I feel about the situation. She will always be my dearest best friend, no matter what, but I am not going to tolerate her making unreasonable requests. She needs to appreciate what I do for her more, and not take me for granted, nor just come to me for what I can do for her instead of just loving me for me. I love to help her and do things for her, but I don't want to do more for her than I believe I should. That's how God feels about us. But that's neither here nor there. I should have placed this info in a separate thread. I got off topic a little bit.

The point is, I am very snappy and irritable right now. My mood has shifted from being depressed to irritable. I am also getting aggrivated at the stupidest things. For example, just now, when I was calling my cell phone company to cancel an extra service that I got a free trial for, the computer lady didn't hear my response. "Sorry, I did not understand your response." I then yelled shut up at it! The voice then said, "Ok, let me get you to a representative who can help you." It sure worked didn't it! I can't stand those automated response units!

I believe that my falling in love with Pete has had played a big part in my moodiness. My head has been in the clouds thinking about him. I sit in a daze replaying our talks and our last time out together. Today, by the grace of God, however, I snapped out of it. God answered my prayers to help me to get a grip before I act on my emotions a take a misstep that could impact the relationship. I am still falling for him, but I am now at a point that I can get him off my mind and under control and under God's guidance and leading. I am still irritable, however. I think its because I have so much going on. In fact I am going to court during my lunch against the squatters again today. I will post this separately. Forgive me for rambling on like this! God Bless You All!

Your sister in Christ

Janet


Posted by: whome?

I am praying that the lord will cover you with his peace and love right now!


Posted by: FriendOfGod

Quote:
Originally Posted by whome?
I am praying that the lord will cover you with his peace and love right now!


Thank you whome. I have been spending less time on the board, because I just got a lot of work dumped on my lap. It could be the answer to my prayer for a promotion! The opportunity to prove myself! God Bless You!

Your sister in Christ

Janet

Pardon me, I previously clicked on the other Button by Mistake! OOPS!