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healing services
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Posted by: Frederik
I don't know what to do.
Next week there are once again healing services in a community which I know. I have been there 2 times before and there were no huge miracles. Some people got healed from knee pains and back pains but nothing really bombastic. The first time I went there I also had somebody pray for me cause I have chronic problems with my scalp and this is really annoying cause the shampoo which I got from the doctor doesn't even work anymore. So he prayed for me and started prophecying and said that this will take long or something like this.... but I was not healed.
Next week there is a healing service again and I was asked wether I want to go there. I said yes but I'm really not keen on it. I don't even know what do to. Simply go there and watch it? Or ask for prayer again? But if I'm not healed again then it'll drag me down, so what shall I do? I mean somehow I feel like God doesn't want to heal me at this time cause if he wanted he could already have done it. 
I really don't believe that I would be healed there, so does it even make sense going there? Why should I watch others getting healed? I mean I really cannot go there and do like I'm totally faithful. If God had wanted to heal me he could already have done it the first time. So why should he do it now especially since I don't have faith in healing? If I don't get healed then it'll be because of me because I didnt have faith, right?
Posted by: christythompson
Frederick,
This is my personal experience with healing
I had very bad psoriasis. I had patches that were red weepy and constantly red on my arms neck and eyelids. I spent 15 years going to doctors and got pills, shots and creams for the problem only to receive relief or to see the rash subside to a pink vs red. I stood up in church and was prayed for. I left with the rash. Everyday I got up and said God I know that the cause of this rash is healed. This symptom is not going to sway me. Nothing seemed changed from what a person could see. I just kept believing and praising God. After a couple of weeks I woke up and the rash was gone. Its been over 15 years since that happened. I have never had a reoccurance. I do have scalp issues however that I am not healed of, as well. I am not disappointed. I have the peace to trust God with my life. Of course I want healing from that as well. I will be obedient to seek healing, more over to seek God and to seek what he wants me to learn. Healing meetings are not a hocus pocus place. I would go if you feel led by God to be there and stay away if you feel like you aren't to be there. I would not pass judgement on what you see. Why not pray for others as they pray for you?
Maybe God will move when you are at peace with him, putting away worry, & constantly questioning. Thats between you and God though...
Posted by: Frederik
But how am I supposed to know wether I'm healed or not when I'm not healed? Is this all about making yourself believe that you are healed even though you can see that you aren't healed? What sense does this make?
Posted by: christythompson
I choose to trust God and believe and I truly did believe that the cause was healed. I wasn't trying to convinse myself. Perhaps that the difference.
Maybe God will move when you are at peace with him, putting away worry, & constantly questioning... then you will know
Posted by: Frederik
But I believed as good as I could! And obviously it was not enough. Great.
I even threw my medicine away to prove to myself that I believe but somehow I still became insecure and got doubts and got scared but I really tried it. I also didn't know how to behave in such a situation. I didn't know wether I was already out of the race cause I got doubts.It totally sucked. I won't try this again and go through this again. This was a huge pressure.