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Marriage vs Dating over internet
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Posted by: angelofthelord
Would you be concerned if your husband or wife read your emails or Instant
Messages? What about listened to your phone calls? What about if they knew
every place you go each day? How about the places you go when you are out
of town? Would you worry if your husband or wife heard a tape of all the
conversations you had each day with people of the opposite sex? For those
who are still reading, you either have no problem being this open with your
spouse or you are now under great conviction and God is speaking to you
today.
For those who have no problem being this open with your spouse, praise God!
A marriage centered in Christ should include this type of openness and
transparency. With Christ at the head of your life and loving and honoring
your spouse as the Word calls for, there is no reason you should be afraid
to allow your spouse to read your emails or Instant Messages, listen to
your phone calls, know exactly where you are at, or hear any of your
conversations with people of the opposite sex. I pray that you will
continue to love and honor your spouse so that you can always be this open
and transparent.
For those who are under conviction by these words today, this could be the
very tap on the shoulder from God that will keep your marriage from ending
in divorce. Satan is very subtle in how he destroys marriages. No marriage
ends in divorce overnight, but over time. One of the chief ways people open
the door for satan to come in and destroy their marriage is in their
relationships with people of the opposite sex. If your heart began racing
as you read those questions, if you know deep down you would never want your
spouse to read your emails or Instant Messages, hear your phone calls, know
exactly where you are at all times, or hear a tape of the conversations you
have with people of the opposite sex, please hear what God is saying to you
today. It may very well save your marriage!
Nobody wakes up one morning and decides to become an alcoholic. They have a
few drinks, it becomes part of their life, and over time they get into
bondage to alcohol. Nobody wakes up one morning and decides to become a
drug addict. They experiment with drugs occasionally, begin to use them
more frequently, and over time they get into bondage to drugs. It is the
same thing with someone who is in bondage to food, shopping, gambling,
making money, sex, or any other type of bondage you can name. A person
doesn't get into bondage to anything overnight, but over time.
This is also how relationships outside of your marriage develop, over time.
You get friendly with someone of the opposite sex at work, you see them
every day, you make sure you spend some time with them every day, talk to
them every day, you start to develop that elementary school crush and
fantasize about them, pretty soon you create opportunities to have lunch
with them or see them after work, and during this process the conversation
turns from work to your personal lives and often to sex. One thing leads to
another and one day you and your co-worker are in bed together.
Even if this relationship never culminates in having sex together, never
forget that Jesus said if you lust in your heart you have committed
adultery. You are giving someone else the emotions, feelings, and attention
that should ONLY be given to your spouse. When you got married, that is the
person God gave you for the rest of your life to pour all of your emotions,
feelings, love and attention into. NOBODY ELSE! That is the person who God
gave you to enjoy sex with. NOBODY ELSE!
Over the past decade, another road to destroy marriages satan has turned
into a 12-lane super freeway is the Internet. a word of warning you have
to beware of Internet dating services, chatrooms, and the other
ways you can meet people over the Internet. Every time I see one of those
commercials with the elderly gentleman for a popular Internet matchmaking
site I cringe. They make millions selling people the "dream of a soulmate,"
but never tell you the horror stories of all of the marriages that have been
destroyed because of their service. I am very aware that people can and do
use these services successfully. I am also very aware of how dangerous
these sites are from dealing DAILY with men and women who have learned to
use Internet dating sites and chatrooms to carry on secret lives their
spouses never knew existed.
Satan has lied to people that there is really nothing wrong with carrying on
a relationship with someone "online." The reality is, you begin to pour
your heart, emotions, and feelings into this person you are having the
online relationship with just like if you were with them in real time.
Ultimately, in most cases it actually does evolve into meeting in real time
and ends up being no different than any other extra-marital affair. It all
started so harmlessly. A few innocent emails and Instant Messages that
became more frequent, more personal, more sexual in nature. The next thing
you know you are actually sitting side by side with this person.
Again, even if this relationship never culminates in having sex together,
never forget that Jesus said if you lust in your heart you have committed
adultery. You are giving someone else the emotions, feelings, and attention
that should ONLY be given to your spouse. When you got married, that is the
person God gave you for the rest of your life to pour all of your emotions,
feelings, love and attention into. NOBODY ELSE! That is the person who God
gave you to enjoy sex with. NOBODY ELSE!
Today's message is a warning that
you must guard yourself from opening the door to satan, allowing him to
enter into your marriage and destroy it through your relationships with
people of the opposite sex. If you are married, you simply cannot allow
yourself to get too close to someone that is not your spouse. You have got
to be aware this is an avenue the enemy will use to try and destroy your
marriage. The way you judge if you are getting too close to someone of the
opposite sex is by answering the original questions I posed. If the answer
to any of them is "yes," you need to back off because you are too close to
that person.
I will pray for those of you today who God brought under conviction
because you know that you would NOT want your spouse to read your emails or
Instant Messages, hear your phone calls, know all the places you go, or hear
the conversations you are having with people of the opposite sex. Be like
Joseph and RUN from this relationship NOW before it destroys your marriage.
God is speaking to you today and God is trying to help you save your
marriage. I will be praying for you to listen to Him and cut off ALL
communication with this other person.
I already know many of you will email me and tell me that your spouse
doesn't understand you, that you have "grown apart," and a whole plethora of
reasons to try and justify your involvement with someone who is not your
spouse. SAVE IT! Let me encourage you that if you put the same time,
effort, emotions, feelings, and energy into your spouse as you do this other
person, you would be amazed at how different your relationship with your
spouse would be. Whatever the problems in your marriage may be, being
involved with someone else is NOT the answer. I will pray today for God to
bring healing and restoration to your marriage. The first step, however, is
to cut off all communication with this other person you are involved with.
I will also be praying today for those of you who are dealing with a spouse
who has become involved with someone else. Never forget, you are not
responsible for the actions of your spouse. God gave us each free will and
only He can change your spouse's heart. Now is the time to make your faith
real and learn to trust God during this difficult time. Find your peace and
strength in Him each day and know that He is still in the restoration
business! I will be praying for you and for your spouse to turn their heart
and life back to the Lord and bring healing to your marriage.
Would you be concerned if your husband or wife read your emails or Instant
Messages? What about listened to your phone calls? What about if they knew
every place you go each day? How about the places you go when you are out
of town? Would you worry if your husband or wife heard a tape of all the
conversations you had each day with people of the opposite sex? If the
answer to any of these questions is "yes," God is speaking to you today.
Please, listen since your marriage is at stake.