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Desire for the Occult...
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Posted by: Stacy H.
I was reading more of the board and found some testimonies of former pagans. I realised that I've not had my desire to go back to dallying with witchcraft completely nipped in the bud. Just thinking about it gets my heart salavating and racing like a kid in a candy store. I know that there is a battle going on for my soul and I've felt it my whole life. The desire to go back to witchcraft has always been strong and I've said often that if I were a witch I'd be very powerful. I say that as a fact. I feel and know it's being used by the enemy like bait. I have alot of anger still in me and have had alot of people in my life currently and in the past that have hurt me deeply. I would be a liar if I said there was nothing in me that would want to hurt them. Part of me feels/knows that going back into witchcraft would lead to acting on those revengeful things. I know though that the enemy wants me dead. If I were to go over to that side maybe he'd indulge me or maybe he would just kill me. I don't know. On my father's side of the family many of the women have had occult practices in their life. I know that there is a generational curse because of this. I am tired of feeling this battle and I would like some peace. I do know that I need to repent of my sick and weak pride too since it makes me vulnerable to the enemys attacks.Also because it is sin. Like I said earlier it's this "knowledge" that if I were to go back there I'd be powerful. I've not been able to fully repent of that pride because I feel I have power in that desire. Growing up I wasn't listened to and ignored alot and just kind of faded into the wall. (When I got drunk I got honest and my laments were always the fear of being left alone and that noone listens to me. They are fears that are still current and I stuggle with them every day though I'm not always aware of it as I struggle.) I am still a very angry person though I've stuffed it quite well away from the surface. Even now as a Christian I have often given counsel not quite for the glory of God. I sometimes give it thinking "See? I finally know the answer this time! Someone is finally listening to me!". Not always but quite a bunch of times. And how does that give all the glory to God? It doesn't! And it's my selfish self using God,who gave me the ability to know Him in the first place,for my own selfish gain. (There I said it!)Down the street like 2 mins. from my house is a pagan shop that just opened up selling crystals etc. There is a stoplight right there and when the light is red I have to force myself to look at the other way while I wait for the light to change. I know I shouldn't look but I so want to and to go in and look. So I've got this issue(s) as I said and I need some prayer. Hope all that makes sense. Please pray for me. I'd really appreciate it. Thankyou!
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Stacy
Posted by: JeriRose12
Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, so says the Bible.... So, what you are really dealing with is a spirit of rebelliion. God has forbidden such practices. You are saying that you know better than God. That's it's better to have power than to trust in the Almighty One Who is Omnipotent (all powerful). I love you and God loves you, but if you keep toying with this, you are going to end up in trouble. You admitted that you are using this as a way to be noticed or approved. This is something you are using to asuage your inner pain, and I tell you plainly: Forget it! Only JESUS can remove your inner pain! Any sin and every sin is basically the same: something we are using to fill the void in us, and only GOD can fill that void. So where sin is concerned: RUN AS FAR AS YOU CAN! Run into the arms of Jesus! Repent and turn from ALL sin and turn to Jesus!
There are curses that must be broken and deliverance prayers to be prayed, but, first, you must come to the place where you want Jesus MORE than you want revenge, approval, attention, power or any other thing you like about the witchcraft. If part of you still wants this, in direct disobeience to God's Word, than you are making this your god and not God your God. Someone wise explained that the reason witchcraft and all forms of the occult are wrong is simply this: they take your focus off God!
I am praying that you are delivered, but this is something you have to want more than all the "benefits" that come with practicing witchcraft. You have got to LOVE JESUS more than these.... You must forsake ALL to follow Him!
~JeriRose~
Finding HIM in 2005 
Posted by: Stacy H.
Thanks for your reply...
The desire for witchcraft is not an everyday thing. It just pops up here and there via something like,for example, TV or being in a bookstore and seeing a book etc.. Then it's like "Oh yeah I forgot about this..." and I want to run with it. Unfortunately I can't always control my surroundings when I'm out and about. As for using it to be noticed or approved. I was trying to explain that my pride IN GENERAL leaks into even my Christian life. I also meant it was also my need for approval that made me show off my Christian knowledge.I have though shown off my knowledge of Wicca when I helped people at the Christian bookstore I worked at. It was a "look at what I know" kind of thing and didn't really have any root in wanting to help the other person get educated and help them. Maybe a little bit but mostly not. I know that going to any other source but the Lord for help is calling Him a liar and completely rejecting Him but it is hard when I start getting roped in. It's like my emotions and mind go into this foggy knumb denial as I do/move toward what I should not. Sometimes I wonder too if that's something that the enemy does because that fogginess affects my prayer life as well. I can't focus and it wanders and I either fall asleep or I forget that I was praying. And you're right JR12 I don't want the Lord more than these other things. It's a CONSTANT fight to give stuff up to Him. Even when I look at how He's worked in my life in the past that's not always enough to give everything to Him. Right now I'm stuggling with giving up "things" meaning material things. I just recently made a point to give it to Him every morning and night and I'm just starting to get some peace for the first time in my life. But it is a constant battle just like all that other stuff. And to be honest I don't always see it. I forget so often and then when I get spiritually bogged down and in a corner I remember it again and give it up to Him again. But I forget so often all these things that need to be given to Him and it's often back to square one. My husband always asks me why I have to keep learning the same lessons over and over and forget in between. I honestly don't know though I wish it would stop. I DON"T KNOW HOW to make my desire to be for the Lord and only Him. Isn't He the one who gives us the desire for Him in the first place? All I can think to do is ask Him to forgive me and admit what I've done and ask Him to replace those wrong desires for the things of the Lord. That's all I can think to do. What else do I do that I'm not doing?
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Stacy
Posted by: Nessa
Lord, help Stacy to realize that she must avoid temptation and behaviors that lead to it. Lord, only You can take the desire away. Lord, give Stacy a hunger for Your Word and to know the truth of Jeremiah 33:3 which says "call unto Me and I will show you great and mighty things which you do not know." Lord, vengence belongs to You. Replace her desire for vengence with a desire for love. Lord help her to realize that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. In Jesus Name. Amen.
Hang in there Stacy and fight with all of your might, knowing that the Lord God is with you.
Posted by: Tafi
Lord, I lift up Stacy now and I ask that you would really intervene in this situation in a big way. Lord, in You, we are freed from all bonds, chains and spirits that are not of You. I plead Your blood over Stacy now and ask that You would lose her from the temptations, the thoughts and sin, in Jesus' Name. I pray that You would remove that desire and replace it with Your love for her. Give her a deeper passion and hunger for You, and help her to trust You in all things.
Posted by: Stacy H.
Tafi and Nessa thanks for your prayers.
Funny thing. The past few nights I've been waking up with music in my head and it's been the same song over and over. Earlier this morning I woke up and had a song about Jesus's blood going on in my head. It was a song I've not heard in years and I was surprised that I remembered it. I wondered if something was going on spiritually since as I said it's been then same song over and over these past few days. I went back to sleep and woke again later and it was gone! So seeing your reply Tafi made me wonder again...
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Stacy