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Anyone have answers about divorce and remarriage

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Posted by: prayerwarrior8888888

I have a friend who is divorced. His x-wife comitted adultery and asked for a divorce. He is now adamant about the fact that if he remarries he will be causing his new wife and himself to be committing adultery and will not see the kingdom of heaven.

Please advise.




Posted by: ALynn

According to my memory of the New Testament, Christ indeed said divorced/remarried people were committing adultery. I do, however believe that God forgives and will sanctify a remarriage. In another place He makes an exception for adultery ("save for adultery..."). God wants us to keep our covenants. But He is merciful, and our society is riddled with divorce. Jesus is forgiving. He loves us.


Posted by: ALynn

Quote:
Originally Posted by prayerwarrior8888888
I have a friend who is divorced. His x-wife comitted adultery and asked for a divorce. He is now adamant about the fact that if he remarries he will be causing his new wife and himself to be committing adultery and will not see the kingdom of heaven.

Please advise.

Thanks I did find the exact verse: Mathew 19:9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." (NKJV)

Not a fun verse to read given the divorce rate in this country, but as I said before, I believe God can love his own through anything. But, in your friend's case, he is in the clear if his wife committed adultery. His new marriage should be blessed, if it's God's will they be together.


Posted by: rainbow788

It's my understanding that according to Matthew 19:9 that adultery is grounds for divorce (the only one) but I cant seem to find anything about remarriage and when its acceptable.

This question leads me to wonder about something else. If a spouse is abusive, whether it be physical, verbal or emotional, is this not grounds for divorce? Is divorce permissible ONLY if ones spouse has committed adultery?
Also, what if a married couple separate and are unable to reconcile due to being unequally yoked and it was the nonbelieving spouse who left the marriage? Is divorce permitted in this situation? I dont understand why the Bible does not address these issues more than it does.


Posted by: GODS Grace

Hello Family,

What is divorce? A sin?
What is sin? Missing God's mark of perfection.
Is divorce the unpardonable sin? No.

Yicks! What was the Samaritan women at the well so excited about that she went and told everyone?
Do you remember how many husbands she had?
"The letter of the law kills."
The law also reveals are need for Christ who is the only way, truth, and life to God or heaven.

We don't go to heaven for being good.
We go to heaven for being in relationship with Jesus and having our sins "forgiven", just like the women at the well.

God desires to restore relationships, first with Him and with also with others.

Where sin abounds, grace much more abounds.
God is our example of what forgiveness is. Jer. 3:8 Tells us of the painful divorce God endured.
He will forgives all our transgressions...And removes all our iniquities...
Love covers a multitude of sins.
Blessings!!!...GODS Grace


Posted by: eagle4him

Good discussion. Matt 19:9 says that the person that divorces for any reason other than adultery, then remarries, he himself commits adultery.

This Scripture does not say whether the divorce is itself a sin or not. Only says that it is not the sin of adultery if the offended party chooses to remarry.

God hates all divorce, regardless of the circumstances. But a person also needs to use good judgement and wise counsel especially when someone's life is at stake, or mistreatment of children.

No where are we supposed to allow others to abuse,torture, brutalize or continue to harm us or little children. Those people need to get help.
And we need to protect them.

Anyone that is divorce, or thinking about it needs good counsel, needs to break the soul ties, and then needs time to heal before entering into another relationship.


Posted by: Christian Commando

Well hold on people, lets not go limiting God here. First, we must realize God sanctified marriage. He also speaks of how we can commit sin wrongfully abusing this Gift and Blessing.

But... God also declares, under particular circumstances, marriage can be ended by divoecement and be justified in God's eyes. As in the case of adultery. If one partner commits this, the other, if cannot accept the situation, can legally and rightceously seek a divorcement from the other partner.

Another relates to partners being unequally yoked. God declares if this is a case in marriage, and the unsaved partner eventually wants to divoece the other, they can, as God declares to let the unsaved partner go. (Remember, tho God does allow for this kind, He does not condone or "back up" such a marriage).

There are many Scriptures on marriage of all kinds, thus all must be taken in context with all others. Lets not hold to just certain ones, when so many others give us more coverage of the complete understanding where God sits on this subject.

God Bless!!


Posted by: ALynn

I must admit I have more than a passing interest in this subject as I myself am married to a divorced man. I was on my way back to Jesus when we were married, but truly made it back about two years ago, when I fell on my knees before God. This is tough to discuss, but since reading the New Testament again, I began to seriously wonder if my marriage (my first) is a farce because it is his second... yet, we have a child, and I don't believe in divorce... see the vicious circle? Yes, they were unequally yoked, and yes she committed lascivious behavior, though actual adultery was never proven. I have asked God many times to re-sanctify my marriage and to show me that we are "okay" in his eyes. On the night we were married, my husband had his one and only moment in life where he connected to God and felt deeply in the Holy Spirit (hard to put into words) but he felt he had a revelation that everything would be okay. I must say we are deeply Christian, and that we love each other and the Lord.


Posted by: Christian Commando

As far as any particular case goes, God has given His Word on it. Yet, keep in mind, you've confessed this before Him and have sought restoration of this thru forgiveness. I would suggest God has probbly forgiven you both here and has sanctified your marriage, according to His guidance about such things.

God Bless!!


Posted by: becky75104

A man, whose wife commits adultery, can put her away with divorcement and remarry and he will not be committing adultery; yet whoever marries his ex will be committing adultery.

However, a woman, whose husband commits adultery, if she puts him away with divorcement anyone who marries her will still be committing adultery, and anyone who marries her ex will be committing adultery.

Yes, I know. Sort of bothered me too. I'm divorced, and my husband left me for another woman. But the scripture says it so there you are.


Posted by: Rachel R

I'm afraid I have to agree with the apostle Paul on this one.

If people can possibly stay single then I think they should.

The time is short and there is work to do.

Lots and lots of terrific work to do.

I hope he gets to heal and grow and do what he wants to do.

Rachel R


Posted by: Christian Commando

Agreed Rachel, but Paul also declares if a person seeks marriage, it is better they are married than to stay single and burn.

Point of this thread being is, Matt. 19:9 does say t by Christ Himself, that marriage is samctifed by the Father, and any couple divorcing other than for adultery- (fornication), they are not to remarry, yet Christ shows, only if not divorced for fornication- (Adultery), both commit adultery by marrying again.

Otherwise my friends, we would be claiming God is punishing wives who were divorced by thier husbands, when the husband commited adultery and she did not, if were to claim she could not remarry again. This is surely not on the heart of God to punish those who have not sinned that way in such circumstances.

Nor husbands as such where a wife commits adultery would God punish them by not allowing them to remarry.

God Bless!!


Posted by: JeriRose12

1 Or do you not know, brethren (for I speak to those who know the law), that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives? 2 For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man. 4 Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ, that you may be married to another—to Him who was raised from the dead, that we should bear fruit to God. 5 For when we were in the flesh, the sinful passions which were aroused by the law were at work in our members to bear fruit to death. 6 But now we have been delivered from the law, having died to what we were held by, so that we should serve in the newness of the Spirit and not in the oldness of the letter. (Romans 8:1 - 6)

1 Corinthians 7

Principles of Marriage

1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me:
It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. 7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.
8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Keep Your Marriage Vows

10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.
12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
Live as You Are Called

17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches. 18 Was anyone called while circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? Let him not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing, but keeping the commandments of God is what matters. 20 Let each one remain in the same calling in which he was called. 21 Were you called while a slave? Do not be concerned about it; but if you can be made free, rather use it. 22 For he who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called while free is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brethren, let each one remain with God in that state in which he was called.

To the Unmarried and Widows

25 Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is: 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.
29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none, 30 those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, 31 and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away.
32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. 34 There is[a] a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.
36 But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry. 37 Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin,[b] does well. 38 So then he who gives her[c] in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better.
39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God.