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When others treat you wrong
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Posted by: Frederik
One thing I realized is that when others treat you wrong and you fight back then it's like you create a defense around yourself. If somebody insults you and you fight back then it's like a protection because in the moment where you insult him back you kind of make yourself invulnerable.
But when you on the other hand decide not to fight back then you become vulnerable and what the other person said to you is much more likely to affect you and hurt you. That's basically the price you pay when you decide not to fight back. And this is really not easy. It costs a lot of overcoming, especially for me. When somebody treats me wrong or insults me then I become so angry I just want to pay him back and I don't care wether God approves this or not in this moments it's only about paying the person back. And when you try to simply let it go then it's really like dying and denying yourself. In these moments you really know what denying yourself means and it's not easy.
Posted by: MarkSentMe
Well, you can't let yourself be a door mat. That's not what "turn the other cheek" means. If someone is abusing you and purposely out to hurt you, then you have to defend yourself. That could mean simply standing up for yourself and saying,"I'm not going to allow you to treat me bad. I am a valuable person and I deserve respect." If someone is physically threatening you with violence, then you fight back.
But there are times when you have to weigh up the situation. Is this person saying hurtful things out of maliciousness or is he or she just insensitive to others' feelings? Is this person using me and abusing our friendship because they are inconsiderate and this person doesn't really value me as a friend? (it's all about what can I do for them).
Some people have a very low self-worth and make themselves feel better by belittling and berating others. They feel like you are there only for their selfish purpose- the relationship is usually one-sided; you put forth genuine effort and real friendship and they are literally a "drain" where they just take and take and take.
Whatever the relationship, don't let it make you bitter. Some people are just high-maintenance. After a while, you do as the Bible says, you wash your hands of them. I try to share the Word with a very bitter, condescending and sarcastic sister-in-law. Everything out of her mouth is negative and she is a cynical person. She claims she is a realist. Whatever. I don't let people like that take my joy! I know my blessings. I know that God loves me and that Jesus died for my sins! I know that without Him I can do nothing. It's not for me to prove those things. I just look at their fruit.
Posted by: Frederik
Yes, that's right.
But there are even christians which have the strange opinion that "turn your other cheek" means that even if somebody attacks them and wants to hurt or kill them they must not defend themselves and they would rather die than hurting the other person. How sick is this?
If somebody wanted to kill me and it's either me or him then I would of course try to be the winner. Letting yourself be killed would be an insult to God because I don't think that God made us in order to allow is to be slaughtered "Gandhi style".