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How do I learn to forgive

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Posted by: mminor

When I was 2 my birth mother decided that she did not want me anymore. My father's mom adopted me and has been the only mother I've know. It's been 27 years now. My birth mother has always known how to contact me if she wanted to. I have a brother that's a year older than me that I've never known. I blame my real mother. Recently, I was able to get in contact with them both. She had nothing but excuses. She put the blame on everyone but her. I know in order to be whole again I need to forgive. But how? How do I forgive the one that never loved me? She recently had a stroke. My blood pressure stays in stroke range. Mom says that it will get better once I talk with my real mother. I don't know. I want to. But I can't seem to bring myself to pray for forgiveness. What is wrong with me?

I wrote this poem to help me better understand.

IF YOU ONLY


If you only said “I’m sorry”
I would then understand

If you only said “I’m sorry”
Could I forgive you once again

If you only said “I missed you”
Your whole life through

If you only said “I missed you”
Would I come to visit you

If you only said “I love you”
Would I begin to heal

If you only said “I love you”
Would destroy the anger I feel

If you only said “be patient”
God’s not through with me yet

If you only said “be patient”
Would I finally forget

If you only said “you needed me”
To come into your life

If only you said “you need me”
I would come not just for spite

But you never said these words to me
These words I need to hear
When I do
I promise you
The pain will disappear


Posted by: manda

that's a beautiful poem... a good way to vent your hurting feelings.
how to forgive? pray... God will help you, may not be an overnight thing. it's okay - He knows. but ask Him and lift up that pain into His hand.
i will pray for you.
those words "I want to" that you wrote referring to talking w/ your real mom... i feel that's that "still small voice" in your heart - rely on that. and you take it from there......

let's pray

our sweet Lord Jesus in heaven, we come to you to ask for Your healing touch in Mminor's heart. we lift up all hurts, pain of being abandoned, rejected, confusion and this anger that has led to unforgiveness raging in his/her heart. Lord You've seen all that Mm has been thru after the mother left him/her. but Lord You also know that You've been watching over him/her even without a bio mother, and that You've wanted Mm despite that & nurtured him/her through a loving kindness of another woman who has become a real mother. Lord that You have been with Mm all these years thru caring & loving people around him/her. Your love has surrounded Mm even up to now, despite this feeling of unforgiveness. help him/her Lord Jesus, heal and take away this dreadful and weighty feeling of unforgiveness. send Your sweet Holy Spirit to calm this storm within him/her, guide the heart with all Your wisdom - lead this hurting person O Lord to follow that "still small voice" within. to release him/her from all this pain and hurt of abandonment knowing that You sweet Jesus, are always there watching over him/her - no matter what. forgive this woman who has left Mm and has caused him/her all this sorrow and pain. Lord, You see that she's been ill perhaps because of a deep guilt that's pursuing her all these years that she cannot forgive herself from what she's done to Mm. Lord please forgive her for what's she's done to Mm. be with Mm with all your wisdom and compassion, and guide every step that s/he needs to take for a forgiving heart and a healing mind thru Your Spirit. in Jesus' sweet and mighty name we pray, amen.



Quote:
Originally Posted by mminor
When I was 2 my birth mother decided that she did not want me anymore. My father's mom adopted me and has been the only mother I've know. It's been 27 years now. My birth mother has always known how to contact me if she wanted to. I have a brother that's a year older than me that I've never known. I blame my real mother. Recently, I was able to get in contact with them both. She had nothing but excuses. She put the blame on everyone but her. I know in order to be whole again I need to forgive. But how? How do I forgive the one that never loved me? She recently had a stroke. My blood pressure stays in stroke range. Mom says that it will get better once I talk with my real mother. I don't know. I want to. But I can't seem to bring myself to pray for forgiveness. What is wrong with me?

I wrote this poem to help me better understand.

IF YOU ONLY


If you only said “I’m sorry”
I would then understand

If you only said “I’m sorry”
Could I forgive you once again

If you only said “I missed you”
Your whole life through

If you only said “I missed you”
Would I come to visit you

If you only said “I love you”
Would I begin to heal

If you only said “I love you”
Would destroy the anger I feel

If you only said “be patient”
God’s not through with me yet

If you only said “be patient”
Would I finally forget

If you only said “you needed me”
To come into your life

If only you said “you need me”
I would come not just for spite

But you never said these words to me
These words I need to hear
When I do
I promise you
The pain will disappear



Posted by: lilbit

In the name of Jesus I pray for this pain in mminor's heart to heal.....that mminor can grow in your spirit and love , and because of this the forgiveness that mminor wants to give will happen ....in this Your name i pray Jesus....amen


Posted by: jedijeb

Lord Jesus, help this child of Your find forgivenness in their heart. Lord give them the love it takes to love unconditionally that they may forgive unconditionally as You forgave us. Lord help them to know that through You and You alone can they find this love, without it no matter what their birth mother may do, they will not be forgiving, only You can allow a person to truely forgive someone. Lord I ask that You comfort them and give them the power and love it takes to be truely forgiving. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.


Posted by: FriendOfGod

Oh gracious God, I ask that you heal this woman's heart. Help her to let go of the hurt and forgive her mother. Help her to move on and that she may be filled with your comforting peace. Strengthen her so that she may be able to put htis behind her and move on and reconcile with her mother. That they may even have a friendship. I ask this in Jesus name. amen.


Posted by: talena

God, I pray that you heal mminor's heart. Teach her to love and trust her mother again. Father, I ask that you show her the benefits of her life as a result ofher mother's decision. Help her to be understanding when listening to her mother. God I pray that you weigh conviction on the heart of her mother, and being them closer to you TOGETHER. Pull them both into your loving arms and bind them together in YOUR love. God, I thank you for mminor. I thank you for putting her in a home with a loving adoptive mother. I thank you that mminor's birth mother chose LIFE as opposed to taking drastic measures. AND God, I praise you for blessing mminor's grandmother with a wonderful, beautiful child to raise, and thank you for leading mminor to this website. God stay close beside her and remind her that you will never leave her nor forsake her. I love you God, and I thank you for all that you are going to do in mminor's life. In Jesus' name! AMEN!