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Advice (and prayer) request
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Posted by: guardianangel
Question:
If you discovered that your mother was fueling discord in the family among numerous members, what (prayer has already been initiated) would be advisable action? The situation in question is deep.
Father, You know the situation- I prefer not to discuss it. I ask for wisdom in this area. I am losing sleep and a sense of peace over it. Please let me know what action is pleasing to You. I ask for Your intercession in Jesus Name. Amen. 
Posted by: MarkSentMe
Hmmmm... 
There is a similar situation in my family and it flat-out stinks. My parents have managed to create a situation where my 3 brothers really don't talk to each other or me. My brother who is 6 years older than me, is a Mama's boy. My middle brother (10 years older) talks to that brother and talks a bit to my parents. Our oldest brother (14 years older than me) talks to no one. He has a bitterness and is a grudge-holder. The mystery is: what did anyone do to him? He hasn't talked to me since Easter 2005. His daughter, who is 25 years old, went on a tirade with me via AIM about me converting and leaving the Catholic church. That was the last of our contact.
I have accepted this. Not easily since we are a military family and we have no blood family near us; now our church family has become our family.
I pray for my family that they will come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ and be in a relationship with Him. I do not live close enough (I'm in KY, they're in NJ) to go to them and extend an olive branch. The few times I talk to my middle brother, it is very different; he is quick on the phone and off. The brother who is 6 years older than me, we rarely talk. His wife got real ugly with me about being a foster parent/adoptive parent (this is my family's calling, not everyone understands) and I weathered some very rude and hurtful comments regarding this. That was Christmas 2005.
As hard as it is, I have let them go. I still love them. I pray for them. I talk to my parents about twice a week. We don't discuss the others. My parents are seeing the fruits of their labor of having a divided family. They (my parents) believe my brothers are under the influence of their wives and claim no responsibility. My parents are fault-finders and will tell my brothers all of the faults of their wives.
My grandmother one time stayed with all three of my brothers. She went house-to-house stirring the pot and left NJ back to Florida leaving a trail of dischord in her path. This is probably where this all started from. My grandmother has been dead 12 years!
Sometimes we just have to let God handle it. When we try to patch things up, we get caught up in it and then we become the outcast. People don't realize when they are feuding that they are not guaranteed their next breath and they really would not want their memory to be one of bad blood and fighting. Some people do not care. My grandmother and her sister had a falling out that lasted 20something years. Both went to their graves not talking, not making ammends, each thinking they were the victor because of their ability to keep the grudge going. I often wonder what pleaseure people, especially parents get from creating a hostile environment for their grown children.
Father God,
Please breathe peace into the lives of guardianangel and her siblings. Please help them to focus on You and not their differences or the unrest in their lives. Please open this mother's eyes to the harm she is causing with her gossip and troublemaking. Lord, You can bring peace into this situation and heal the hardened hearts in this family. Please reunite this family and remove all pride and arrogance. Thank You, Lord for everything You do. Lord, You know how many days we have, we do not know. Lord, help us to live each day with You at the center. Thank You, Lord. Amen.
Sharyn
Posted by: eagle4him
Luke 12:51-53 (New American Standard Bible)
"Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division;
for from now on five members in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three.
"They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law."
Posted by: Rachel R
I would call my mother up and tell her to stop it.
Then I would call each one and tell them not to listen to Mom.
They are all adults, she shouldn't have that much power over all of you.
Put her on the shelf and dust her now and then.
Never empower her behavior by letting it tear up your life!
All relationships in a generation can rise above lousy parenting and find a new way.
Rachel R
Posted by: guardianangel
Thanks to you all for your advice. Rachel- I sort of did what you suggested. I don't know that I can tell my mom to be quiet. I did tell her to forget my phone numbers (her calls are to talk about unhappiness- always). Then, I called my sister and thanked her for a nice gesture that she made toward my oldest, handicapped son. I made the first move to peace making, I ask the Lord to honor my actions.
Father, I acted as a peace maker. I ask for Your blessings on my family relations. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen.
Posted by: Rachel R
I am so proud of you!
That was a very difficult thing to do.
Please be strong and do not let the leftover curses from her generation destroy yours.
You have a choice to break off all the past damage and begin a life of freedom and blessing for your family.
Rachel R
Posted by: Christian Commando
Well, that is certainly not sound Biblical advice to be sharing. As God declares this-
Cannnot even the meekest in your church settle your divisions? God declares, you should go to the person who is in opposition and try to speak in a Christ-like manner to them. If they won't work with you, bring another from your Church with you to try and work things out. If that does not work, then bring them before the Church- (Before the Pastor) with you to try this.
There is no place for approaching people with a discenting attitude. As Children of God, we are expected to deal with each division as according to God's Word and Will. I ask that from now on, God's Word and Will is all that we express for guidance of how people are to approach situations such as these.
God Bless!!
Posted by: Rachel R
I just came by to check on you.
Please tell me that you are not letting Mom's squabbles and troublemaking tear you up!
Don't allow her to cause you stress and loss of sleep.
Just pray for them and throw it over your shoulder.
You have PLENTY of life stress without these additions!
Praying for you !!!
Rachel R