Pages: 1

Response For My Poem Entitled *PAIN*

(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)

Posted by: nathanmitchell1981

I have been getting alot of responses to a poem I submitted here about a week ago entitled *PAIN* some were good, but most were very negative... For those of you willing to read the entire page below, I am going to try and explain to you why my thoughts, and feelings are as they are today...


I have just reached a point of giving in to all the bad in my life... They say

God will never give you more then you can handle, Im afraid in some cases

that is not always true, and someone reading this that has never been

exposed to reality is going to say either, im just seeking sympathy, or im

ungreatful, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, none of which is true... Dont get me wrong,

I love God dearly, I have just come to except the fact that this is, and

always will be my life... Just this year I have lost 3 close childhood friends,

last month I lost my cousin who was the only father figure I ever had...

This is what I experience all the time, "since a child". After awhile your

heart begins to become cold, and you grow bitter, you begin to wonder

why someone who has the power to stop this in the blink of an eye, would

allow it to continue, I am not doubting his presence, but everytime I think

I find peace it is stripped away from me just as quick as it came, and that

hurts so much... I dont know, maybe im not deserving, then again maybe I

am... I just dont know, and no matter how tough a person acts, or is...

"everyone has a limit" "everyone has a breaking point" I know people are

going to say *you think you have it bad* *what about a child with

cancer* YES that is true BUT you have to realize that people suffer in

their own ways, and this is my hell... Im going to give you a quick review

of my life... Typical story, 3 yrs old my dad left me, mother and others

used to get me drunk as a child for laughs, physically, and mentally abused

since I can remember, when I was *9* I saw my uncle gunned down in

front of my eyes... It has'nt gotten any better, I've seen countless friends

laid to rest... Personally witnessed about 80% of them die, when I was

*13* I was shot for the first time, *15* shot 2 more times, a few months

later stabbed 3 times, and shot twice again, *24* I was shot in the face,

chest, and stomach... People say thats a sign, that im supposed to be

here because im able to talk about it, maybe this is my purpose, nobody

knows but God... BUT YOU GO THROUGH IT, then let me tell you not to be

bitter... I just dont understand why anyone, especially a child should have

to go through this, and personally I think it is a cruel cold hearted act to

sit around and watch as this goes on everyday to countless individuals...

Im not alone in that manner just effected differently *not trying to be

funny* but my body looks like swiss cheese, I just turned *26* maybe it's

not for me to understand... Im not complaining or looking for sympathy,

and regardless I still love him, even if I try to act like I dont at times... Im

just bitter, and thats never a good thing, I have lost all that is dear to

me... My Daughter, My Wife, Friends, Family, ect... and im so used to it

now that I act like it dont matter when in reality it is eating me alive,

everyday I am slowly dying... I just wish I could find my peace, my part of

heaven, im not a bad person, but I also realize that I am far from perfect...

I just wish he would acknowledge me... *for the good I do* and *not just

the bad* "regardless, I love you father... always have, and will" Im just confused...


Posted by: christythompson

Nathan
I want you to know that you matter to me.
I am heavily burdened in my heart in regards to you.
I am praying for you and praying to give you
the right response.

This world is not perfect and everything
that has happened is not meant to be.
If it were all meant to be by God
we would be in paradise.
Yet there is evil in this life and we have choices
God stands back and says
Choose me......

I have had my lions share of pain too
that started at age 3 in an unlocked car alone
in the streets of chicago and that pain has gone on.
If I clutch my list to my breast,
I would sink.
I have had to purpose each pain to God
and I have had to execute tremendous forgiveness.

Right now you hurt
and it matters to me you hurt.
I love you, as a brother
I am praying for total healing for you
I am praying you can hear the small voice
that is Gods sometimes
as well as the large voice he calls with.
No ones opinion matters
but sometimes god uses us to speak to you.

Our good actions
can not save us
Jesus is our lone Savior

I know he is calling you
He wants all of you
You can't hold back even a part
and expect the break throughs your heart desires
Seek Him
Not for the whys
but for who he is
and his plan for your life
Chose Him always

I am praying.


Posted by: GODS Grace

Your pain isn't in vain...He will reign...on what seems insane.

Thank you for courageously sharing your life experiences with us.

Do you hear music with your poetry?

I think it's beautiful,
And would love to hear more...

I agree, sometimes it seems life give us more than what we can handle,
when it does, we know that it was God that heard us
and answered our tears.

Blessings! Grace



Posted by: Rachel R

That is WAY too much for such a short life.

I think I would feel the same way.

When I see Jesus, I am going to ask him why he allowed such miserable suffering in people's lives.

I am sure he will have an excellent answer, but I sure don't.

I am so sorry for the agony that you have experienced.

Rachel R
Lord, please comfort his heart.

Surround him with your protection.

Please, Lord, guard and keep him safe from any more harm.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.



Posted by: sonrise

Until we have walked a mile in someone else's shoes we cannot imagine or know with surity what they are going thru or how such trauma affects a person.

For people who have experienced and witnessed what you have, emotions are turned off, stuffed, compartmentalized, to just survive the ordeal. Like many soldiers you were in a battle zone and more than likely suffer among other things Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

What you have been conditioned to does not just go away overnight. Sometimes God miraculousy, instantly heals our emotional traumas and other times we have to go through a process of healing.

If you have access to a wise Godly man who can council and walk you thru the healing process please do!!!!! God has provided a way thru to health and healing. Learning to trust Him will be number 1 priority for you or you will not go forward in the healing process. You do not have stay where you are, bitter and angry and resigned to your life as it is. He will lift you up and out of the mirey clay. Your writing is a wonderful outlet to let yourself go, continue it and I look forward to more.

Sometimes when people critize is because you bring a world to life, that for many is just something on tv and it scares them. They don't want it to touch them or face what we as the body of Christ can do to bring healing and changes to lives caught in violence.

I shall be praying for you and that in God you shall know freedom!!!