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Older Women and the Ministry of Mentoring
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Posted by: JG
This was sent to me by a friend.
I Hope you like it as much as I did.
Scripture Reading: Titus 2
Today's Treasure:
"Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children" (Titus 2:4).
The apostle Paul introduced the wonderful concept of mentoring to a young Gentile preacher named Titus. His instructions on mentoring are tucked into Titus 2. I wish I had the space to share about the older women who have mentored me as a Christian woman, wife, mother, and servant of God. Instead, I will ask you to remember those who have mentored you.
If you are fortunate enough to have benefited from some godly mentors, think of what they have taught you. You know, none of those mentors was in your life accidentally. God brought you into their sphere of influence purposely to fulfill His purposes. Let's look at Paul's charge to older women. He began by pointing out certain qualifications for a mentor to younger women in verse 3:
1. Reverent in the way she lives. Her actions are to be those of a woman who respects God. Each of the women who have mentored me were quite different in personality, but they all shared one common denominator: their lives were replete with a reverence for God. Those I respect most are those who respect God.
2. Not slanderous. I believe older women may have more opportunities to remain active today than in Paul's day. One of my eighty-three-year-old friends told me the other day she was too busy to die! Still, for some who have grown idle, slanderous talk can become a means to keep life interesting. Younger women struggle with the temptation to slander, too. Slanderous people thrive on conflict and division. The godly mentor sets an example by edifying others through her speech—rejoicing over their victories and hurting with them in defeat.
3. Not addicted to much wine. The original word for "addicted" is douloo, meaning "to enslave" (Strong's). In Paul's generation wine was the primary substance to which a woman might become addicted. Today we could fill a grocery aisle with potentially enslaving substances.
I have two very good friends whose mothers were alcoholics. They still struggle with the painful results. So many people in our society are enslaved to different substances. Alcohol, prescription and nonprescription drugs, diet pills, sleeping pills, and illegal drugs are readily available to anyone the least bit desperate or vulnerable.
The general purpose for older women mentoring younger women is stated at the end of Titus 2:3: "to teach what is good." The original Greek word for "good" is kalos, which "expresses beauty as a harmonious completeness, balance, proportion." Older women are to teach younger women about genuine beauty: God's idea of a beautiful woman.
Allow me to emphasize three areas from Titus 2:3-6 in which older women are to help younger women.
1. Love their husbands. Interestingly, the original word used for "love" is not agape this time. It's philandros, which speaks of "loving [someone] as a friend." Romantic love is so important in a marriage but, in addition, Titus 2:4 expresses our need to learn to be a friend to our mates. Women often have several good friends, but men tend to have fewer close friendships. A man often needs his wife to be a friend as well as a lover. Not long ago, Keith said to me so sweetly, "Elizabeth, you're my best friend." Keith is my husband and my love for him is totally unique, but I have so many close girlfriends that I didn't think of him as my best friend. I nearly cried and prayed silently, Oh, God, help me be a good best friend to my husband—and make him mine.
Phileo love, which is central to philandros, grows from "common interests."
By our feminine natures, women don't often share the same interests as men. But we can learn to share their interests! I'm intimidated by deep water, so I rarely fish with my husband. But we've spent many nights by the fire at the deer lease, and we love to watch basketball together. Keith and I make an effort to spend lots of time together and share in each other's worlds. If you're married, let's make this commitment together. We can be a friend to our spouses. Let's start working on it right away.
2. Love their children. You may be thinking, Who needs to be taught to love her children? Lots of wounded people, that's who. As recently as three days ago a woman whispered in my ear, "I don't know how to love my children." I've heard those words a staggering number of times over the course of my ministry.
I had the great blessing of a family where children are virtual royalty. My mother mentored me to love children. Many women haven't had a mentor like my mom. I would make four heartfelt suggestions to those who have difficulty loving their children: (1) Seek a mentor who can help train you to be a loving parent. (2) Seek sound, godly counsel to discover why your heart is hindered and how you can find freedom in Christ. (3) Do the right things until you feel the right things. In other words, hug your children and tell them you love them whether or not these actions are easy for you. They so much need hugs and reassurance. (4) Take up their interests. Attend their school functions, go to their games, have their friends over for pizza! Whether or not parenting comes naturally to you, it's hard work! Nothing has ever drained me or thrilled me more on this earth than motherhood. Hang in there and seek some good support!
3. Be busy at home. The original word for "busy" means "one who looks after domestic affairs with prudence and care." I believe Paul wanted older women to teach younger women that homes and families do not take care of themselves. Someone has to watch over the priorities. Children don't raise themselves. Someone has to watch over them and be involved. A marriage doesn't improve itself. Someone has to watch over it and encourage growth and intimacy. Even if we work, wise women still remain very involved in their homes and families. The wife and mother has something to give her home and family that no one else can supply as effectively: tenderness, nurturing, and a personal touch.
Father, thank You for the godly women who have poured into my life to help me become the woman I should be. Please shower Your many blessings on them. I pray to become the kind of woman You can use to mentor younger women. By Your grace, help me not to become disqualified from filling that important role. Holy Spirit, I recognize that You are the ultimate Teacher who instructs each one of us in the way of righteousness. Thank You for so often using a dear older sister in Christ to be Your vessel. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.
Adapted from To Live is Christ, by Beth Moore, pages 286-290. Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 2001. Used by permission.
Posted by: akabezalel
This is good Pastor Jerry! Pastor Randy just started a series on submitting to one another and he started today with women. I will print this out and give it to him.
Posted by: Ruah_Flames
Praise God for such a word
Lord i thank you for all who have committed to mentoring the younger Christians. I pray for wisdom and grace. May you impact knowledge and character to bother the mentors and their students.
I thank you for Brother David and Peterson who mentored me as a young Christian and as a young preacher. Bless them oh Lord
Amen
Posted by: Sulten
That was wonderful to read. A wonderful image of the power of being a Godly women and her potential for great influence. Thanks for posting that Pastor Jerry.