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Really need advice/help/prayer
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Posted by: desperate4god
Long story short, I've been married for 8 years. This is my first marriage and my wife's 4th. In the past she was married to people that were physically/sexually abusive, and people on crack. She's a really good woman, and probably the most Godly woman I've ever known. I drank heavily when I met her, but quit when we got married, and stayed sober 8 years. Never physically or sexually abused her. Tried to be the best husband/father I knew how, but could have done better. Well a few months ago, in a very spiritually defeated state I gave in to temptation and had an affair and starting drinking again. She stood for me the whole time, loving me through it. I left home and have been gone a total of 4 months. At times I would come back, but felt powerless to change and would leave again. One night she finally told me she was through and wanted a divorce. I guess that shocked me enough and woke me up and I quit drinking, the affair had been long gone. She was positive for about a week, and we talked good. Then one day all of a sudden she was bitter and cold, lashing out at me and bringing up everything I had done in the past. A week later I found out she had met someone else. That was 2 weeks ago.
Since then I have rededicated my life to God and been seeking him with reckless abandon. I have seen him move on my behalf for our marriage, and seen her heart soften some. She's not as bitter/cold as she was. Some days we actually have good positive talks. But she keeps telling me she is having a very difficult time breaking off this other relationship she is in. She's developed strong feelings for him. She tells me she believes I'm sincere in my repentance and that I am committed towards us. But one day she'll have on her wedding ring and the next she won't. I can't get her to go to counseling, though I am praying she will show up tomorrow. She did tell me tonight that everything is going to be ok in time. But checking the phone logs on cingular's website I see that she still talks to this other guy, though not as often as at first. I asked her tonight if she had told him that she had to break off the relationship, and she wouldn't answer. So I'm assuming no?
It kills me that I see her hurting so bad, but I can't help no matter what I say or do. We're still living apart. Anyone been in this situation? Guess I just need to be patient and let God be God?
Posted by: eagle4him
Get professional counselling and seek God!
Posted by: Christian Commando
desperate4god-
Be in fervent prayer to God about this. Be reading His Word, asking God to show you what you must do as His will for this and your life for Him. Start believing in total faith God will restore your marriage, as if it already has been. But, be patient. You've already seen God working in your relationship with your wife, so hold to that hope. The Light is poking thru, so you must believe all things will be healed and restored. Do not give up.
Lord-
We pray that you would show greater sign in this couple of the healing and restoration of this marriage. We ask that you might restore this relationship to keep Satan from permanently dividing that which you brought together. Remove all darkness influencing division and heal the hurt and restore first love and compassion, both for each other and for you in this couple. In Jesus Name- Amen!!