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Mean Spiritied
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Posted by: God's_2XPortion_Anointed_Woman
I pray I'm not being mean spirited; however, I don't feel like calling/emailing any of my friends to say Happy Mother's Day. I've called and emailed my family members, but I just don't feel like calling/emailing any friends. I hope I'm not secretly bitter that they have children and I don't. I would love to call/email two of my friends to say Happy Mother's Day, but I can't bring myself to do it. Both of them are not married. One has two daughters. The other has one daugther and is currently pregnant. I'm usually the person that is calling to say Happy Mother's Day/Happy Birthday/Giving very nice gifts and so on and so forth...I am very thoughtful...almost overly thoughtful and it doesn't seem like the gifts are returned. Now, I know we are all different and no one, perhaps God, is telling me to do the things I do, but when I think about one friend - the back of my car has been scratched for years because I went to pick her up in her time of need and she has not tried to give me one cent for it, yet she has spent hundreds of dollars on a man, who doesn't treat her so well. I'm not knocking her, even she came out and confessed how she could have gotten me a graduation gift and something else, but she spent all of this money on this man. Also, when I think of my one friend who is pregnant and how her boyfriend is there for her throughout this pregnancy, like a husband should be for a wife and I think about how my other friend's ex-boyfriend/friend calls her, even though the nature of the call may not be for the best, I feel sad for myself. I feel sad that here I am 33 with no children and no man in sight. The one guy I was talking to walked right on out of my life like I did something wrong. I wonder how my friend's ex-boyfriend/friend who doesn't do right by her sometimes can call her when a guy who I have done right by won't call me? Am I suppose to just accept the fact that he walked out of my life and I feel like he rejected me with no explanation at all? Will he ever come back, even if months/years later to explain what he was thinking? Will God explain to me why this happened? I know I shouldn't compare, especially when my friend and her ex-boyfriend/friend relationship is not the best, but I am human and it hurts. Maybe I am just feeling lonely during this time of my life, I don't want to be mean-spirited because it is really not in my nature - I love thinking of other people and doing nice things for them, I hope it's not because I want them done back to me. Anyway, at one point in my life I had low self-esteem, I knew I wanted children naturally, but I didn't care for marriage because I figured no man would like me. I didn't think highly of myself. Now my self-esteem is healthy and I want a mate, but it seems that no one approaches me. I try not to think about it, but I'm human and I want companionship that may potentially led to a God-Ordained Marriage. Please pray for me - I don't want to be mean-spirited/bitter. I do pray well for my friends in all areas of their life.
Posted by: Christian Commando
As a child of God, we are to be cheerful givers. Weare also not supposed to expect anything back, but give because we made the free choice to give out of love-(charity) of Christ in our hearts. If we cannot freely give without expecting anything back, we figure everyone we do anything for, owes us something. Yet, God offered Christ in sacrifice freely, without expecting anything back. God loves us by Grace- (unearned favor), of which He did so first, of His own loving free Will for us, even tho none are worthy, no not one.
so, it is your decision, do you plan to only give if you get something in return on this earth, or give freely expecting nothing in return to be Blessed in Heaven for this Grace of God given others thru you?
Yes, I'm afraid it is selfish to want something others have- Gala 5- (worldly living promotes- "envy, strife, anger,etc".
Is the scratch really all that bad on your car? Would it cost alot to fix it? The scratch has been there for years now. So, whats the big deal?
Do you think your being used, or have you done things all along on your own for them? If done them on your own all the time and never expected anything back before, why all of a sudden now you want something?
The Beauty of God's creation in man is the individualistic nature, while still being of the same species. The infinite variables to keep each person individual, while still being human. Some will be like you yet different, to others being totally different.
Some will be boldly cheerful givers, others more reserved, to some not accustomed to giving at all. If have known the way your friends were all this time, why choose now to feel as you do towards them? What has changed to make you feel as such now, you didn't feel before?
Think on these things and be praying to God about them. Ok?
Lord-
We pray yu settle this woman's heart concerning this matter, that she can be at peace as to how you would have her deal with this, that she can be at rest from this turmoil. In Jesus Name-Amen!!
Posted by: God's_2XPortion_Anointed_Woman
I have always been a cheerful giver, who has given from the heart and not expected things in return. I long ago accepted the fact that some of my friends are different than I am and do not give as freely/often - I accepted the fact that this is fine because perhaps there is something that they do, that I don't - you are right, we are different. I don't know why all of a sudden my focus has turned to minimal things - every now and again, this happens, but I eventually "get over it"/"get through it" with prayer. I don't know if it's a distraction from the enemy to bring my mind into a state of turmoil, if I'm feeling sorry for myself or what, but it is aggrivating. No, I do not think that my friends are using me. One particular friend did hurt me in the past and sometimes I think that when the pain of what she did comes back to my rememberance, my thoughts/actions are'nt so friendly - I'm not sure if I've completely healed. You have asked some very good questions and I appreciate your candidness, openess, honesty and thought provoking questions. I will certainly be thinking on and praying about this things, thanks!
I have asked God to please help me to not to be angry, jealous, bitter, secretly envious of the things that my friends have that I don't (i.e. children, relationships). I realize that no good thing will God withhold from me and that God only has GOOD things for me. He is not trying to hurt/harm me and He does not take pleasure in seeing me suffer.