Kimberly,
God has just laid you on my heart since yesterday. I have actually tried to post this to you twice already, and I guess the enemy does not want me posting it because both times when almost done and ready to hit post, my browser did that fly away thing, just closed up and disappeared like I had hit the exit on it. This has only happened to me on this board when trying to post..humm?? The old bugger boo oughta know by now that I do not give up very easy. I am rebuking him this time and this post will go!

Anyway, God has laid on my heart that you are like a shipwreck being thrown about on a raging sea. That the enemy has caused so much noise in your situation that you cannot focus. Your mind is a whirlwind from the moment you get up until you fall asleep, which does not come easy, and most nights it feels like you never stopped thinking even while you were asleep. Thinking and praying. The enemy is a liar and a thief, and he is telling you many lies, he is causing so much noise in your sight and in your hearing, that you are putting more faith in what he shows and tells you, then you are putting in God. Your mind is constantly being invaded with thoughts by the enemy, sometimes even causing you to think that maybe you do just want out, or thoughts like if God would just do something really serious to get your spouses attention, show him whats what, bring him to his knees. He gets you to speak negative into your situation, so he can use it against you, and your mind is so consumed and frustrated that you fall in his snare many times a day.

God wants you to know that you are not in battle with your spouse, you are in battle with the enemy. Your spouse is merely a puppet dancing and saying what the enemy is pulling his strings to do. Your spouse may give conflicting or confusing vibes, such as I dont love you and then saying or doing something that indicates he does. If so, this is because all the negative stuff is not really your spouse, it is the enemy using your spouses mind and mouth. At times, your spouse trys to come through that captivity. Your spouse is probably even confused and wondering what is wrong with him to tell the truth.

The emotional whirlwind the enemy is keeping you in is hindering God from working in your spouse and situation. You are giving it to God, yet keeping your hand upon it as well because of the whirlwind of emotions you are in, and the enemy is keeping you in.

Be still and listen to God. Be still and know that everything your spouse is putting forth is a lie of the enemy...a deception, ignore it and stand on the promises of God, do not take your eyes off of Him. Everytime you start losing control of your thoughts, start singing hyms of praise to God. Everytime he tricks you into speaking negative into your situation, rebuke him and retract your words, asking for forgiveness and God to cover them in the blood and place a hedge of protection around your marriage and husband. Do not react or respond to your husband, just agree, or say nothing, and if you must say something, go be alone and say it to God. Do not speak anything negative out loud!

Know that even if your spouse leaves, it is not of his own doing. It will be either the enemy, or God may have to remove him and take him out into the wilderness to deal with him without hindrance from you. If He does this, He will also deal with you and you will find that it is in fact much easier that way to get focused and get down to the business of working with God to take back what is yours from the enemy. So if your spouse leaves, do not panic...this is merely at last attempt by the enemy to cause you to stumble and give up (dont you let him do it, you just buck up and get ready to get the real battle gear on, because this is the victory battle...it is a fact that things will get worse before they get better, because the closer the victory is, the harder the enemy fights..take worse as a sign of victory around the corner..that is exactly what it is.) Or again, it may be the only way that God can wrap this up and bring the victory because the enemy is has got you so entrapped in your mind, that He needs to remove the enemy from in front of you so He can get you focused for the final battle.

You will have victory, God promises that. The enemy will not have your marriage, he will not have your spouse, he will not have your home, he will not have you, he is a loser, this was defeat for him before it even started, and there is only one way he can win, if you let him...if you let him wear you down to giving up. He is working on that real hard, double time, right now...because your victory is at hand. Even if your spouse is removed, it will not be a long time, you will get focused, you will find yourself a lean mean devil dunkin machine, and you will bring the victory on home.

God may not remove him, hopefully this message will get you focused enough to be able to work with God, instead of hindering Him. This in itself will stop the enemy in his tracks from gaining any more ground, but no matter how it goes, God has His hand upon you, your spouse, your marriage, and He is not letting go..the victory is already yours, it is already claimed and a done deal in the spiritual realm, and it is to manifest in the natural world. So do not let anything shake you from standing on the rock of Jesus and Gods promise of restoration. It is right here, on the way!

God bless and I love you sister..it is alright! Praise God!

i can't write right now, husband is out of sorts, typing angers,
just want u to know this brought me to tears, how did u know? how did u know this was happening to me, i have been through so much in my life, and nothing, nothing like this, even losing my parents, i felt the Lord in that, the devil is all around me.
will write more in a bit, let tom calm down,
luv u so much, kimberly

No magic or mystery, God showed me this, gave me this information. I guess because there was a time that I was in the same mire and I know how this is. God has spoke to me through others to help me learn to work with Him and to let me know that it is all okay, that despite what it looks like, it is in His hand and safe, the enemy will not win. It was hard to believe sometimes, hard to stand on, hard to go on...but His word in true and sometimes He has to use someone else as a vessel to get us to open our eyes..because we are so focused on what we are seeing and hearing in the natural, He has to use the natural Himself to get our attention and our eyes back on Him. This is when He sends prophecy or rema word to you via a natural route knowing you will hear it when you are not able to hear His voice trying to break through the noise the enemy is making. He showed me what the enemy is doing to you, to your mind, the enemy did that to me about a year ago, so God knows that I know exactly what you are going through and I know exactly how this situation can go, the paths to victory, but more importantly, I know the victory, have seen the victory and can vouch for the fact that this is all that is going on, a last stance...the "worse" at the end that indicates the battle is won and the enemy is raging mad about it. I understand and you can hold my hand, I will walk through it with you. You are coming out sister, hang in there and do not let the enemy rob you of any advances against him, no matter how small.

Love to you in Jesus, He is with you right now..just call on His Name and the calm will come.

oh my Lord, thank you. i didn't know what was wrong with me, i almost lost my job today, they think i'm obsessing, compulsive, i had to explain that this is the first time i've ever been this torn up. i have been through so much, and God has always been there, i know he is here now, i just feel all prayed out, and mentally exhausted. i have been fasting everyday, breakfast and lunch, and eating a very light supper, i am tyring to show God my obedience, but my faith is floundering, i needed someone to tell me this, oh i asked the Lord to send someone to help me know, to give me a sign even though i know i shouldn't ask for that, it is true, it just keeps getting worse and worse and worse, and i just don't know what He wants, does he want tom to move out, to work on him, and give me space to get worked on as well. i just don't know, but it is good to hear some confidence in the fact that the Lord is gonna fix this, i have to admit that i have thought if this is the Lord's will lately, and oh i'm so ashamed, but i have spoken negative things over and over and i agree the devil is using me, and trying to get to me. i 'm so tired, i wish God would just scoop me up and take me away, i even found myself considering suicide yesterday! i said to myself, kim that is not you, that is satan, you know you would never do that, nor would your parents condone that, anyway, i have this war going on in my head, and you put it into words perfectly, thank you. oh my goodness thank you. my husband just depresses me, he won't look me in the eye, he went out last night partying, and came home smelling like boos and perfume, but crawled in bed with me. i have been asking God how to handle all of this and am so scared because i finally blew up and said ok tom, i will just say i understand u are leaving, you know the rest, and i'm afraid satan is telling me to say that, i jus can't seem to figure out who is who in my head. this is the worse it has ever been i wish my head would just stop, anyway, God Bless you, i'm gonna print out what you wrote, and meditate over it. what is rhema? i'm interested, i have this hunger to know the Lord that i never had before, never. i know God wants my husband and i for Him something to do for him, tom even said this back in september, and when i was so upset about the affair he broke his hand hitting the wall. he has to love me, i have to believe it, no matter what he is saying i have to believe that God is working, that the Lord is handling it.
oh thank you kristie, i could kiss you, i wish you lived close!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i live in NC, you don't know how i appreciate the message you brought, how does God talk to you like that? i wanna learn how to do that?
thanks, have to go, tom is coming in, he is very angry and beligerant today, it is times like this that it seems my tom is totally gone.

love you, kimberly

ps the devil keeps saying, ur not good enough, not funny enough, don't have a "career" that is attractive, don't do your hair or dress like the women tom llikes, give it up, give it up kim and let him go, ur just not gonna make him happy, he likes girls who smoke and who carouse, give it up, your not good at this or that, blahblahblah. i gotta get him out of my head. i thought of going to a healing room tomorrow, what do u think?

Kim,

When I read Kristie's post I called out "YES!". She put to words the impressions I was getting too. I just wanted to try to tell you to be still and know that God is in charge and to stop trying to fix the situation.

How she described it was so much clearer. Has it occured to you that your husband was especially billigerant and that this made you ahve to get off line right when Kristie had posted this? Do you see? This is a spiritual battle and your husband is not the enemy (although he may be used by the enemy to control you and keep you from focusing on the Truth. The Truth is that Jesus is your Redeemer. Let the Lord take care of this situation, you focus on God and accept his healing for your emotions.

I am so sorry to hear about you losing your job. Perhaps that is a sign that you could take the job your husband offered you?

(I do hope you will consider taking some antidepressants to help you so that you can work.)

__________________
Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain
Leave to thy God to order and provide
In every change He faithful will remain

Be still my soul, thy best, thy Heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end

It is nothing that I do, God just started talking to me, I remember the very first time, it was back in 1991. Totally totally freaked me out the first time, He told me to go to this certain person and give them a message, and He gave me this long message, and God was just pushing me urgently to do so, it was scarey. So I did what He told me to do, knocked on this guys door and when he answered I was just shaking and started rambling 90 miles an hour starting with "I know this sounds crazy, but God made me come here to give you a message, would not let me not do it, and this is what God said to tell you..." It was quite a bit, and as soon as the last word left my mouth, it was totally gone from my head..I could not repeat a word of it again. It turned out that this man was in his bedroom at the moment that I arrived with a gun to his head, he was a Christian man captive to alchohol by satan and had just lost his business, his life was crashing in on him. God has me deal with this man on two other occassions after that. I am told by his sister that he is now one of the strongest Christian men you could meet, in the music ministry and will not even date because he has dedicated his entire life to the Lord..so no room for anything else.

But, from day forth, God has spoke to me. Most times it is His voice, I actually hear His voice and He speaks to me just like anyone else. When my husbands ex wife was making us totally bonkers, God spoke to me and told me to not fret, that He was bringing her a new mate, and she would be getting married and leaving us be. I told my husband this, and three days later she called and told me that she got married over the weekend. This was right after we married, and my husband was not yet used to the way God speaks to me, would look at me funny and be skeptical. Our dry had broken down, and we went a whole year having to hang out clothes out in summer, and hang them inside to dry in the winter. One evening we were at my stepsons Royal Rangers meeting, and the parents were sitting around in the chapel waiting for the kids to get out of meeting. A woman started telling us that she prays over her washer and dryer every day and it has ran for years and years with no trouble. I (in my mind) said, "God, please fix my dryer." God replied, "It is fixed." I got so excited and grabbed my husband, saying "God just fixed our dryer honey, He did, it is fixed!". He thought I lost my mind. We got home and I dragged him directly to the laundry room and said, "Try it, God said He fixed it, and it is going to be fixed!" My husband turned it on and it has worked ever since. :-)

But do not think God always speaks to me about everything. He does not always give me the answers when I am in need. That would be too easy, I would probably never grow if God just told me everything all the time. It is mostly instructions when He speaks to me, like telling me to purchase a clip-on microphone for my pastor and He was going to give me the money for it, and He did, and I did. Like when He told me to call TBN on a Thursday night in Nov., and pledge $1000 for my marriage breakthrough, and not to worry about where it was coming from, because He would provide it. I obeyed, I always obey, and at 8 am the next morning my husband called asking to meet and talk, and he came home from the wilderness a broken man that day, gave his life back to God, and our marriage was restored. Many times He uses me like He did with you, to give others a message from Him. Sometimes He speaks to my heart instead of a out loud voice, shows me things. This is what He did to me with you..showed me, plagued my heart with your torment. I felt your feelings and the whirlwind in your mind. Felt what the enemy was doing to your husband and to you, saw his deception and lies..saw the truth I guess you could say. Its hard to explain..you just see it and feel it, Gods shows you in your heart. He told me to help you, to give you the truth.

Mind you I am not a prophet of God by any means. God has prophets, people He gives visions to, shows them the future, or answers for others. The gift of prophecy. I do not have that by any means. God just speaks to me..simple, He speaks to lots of people. In fact, I am sure He talks, desires such, to all His children, and maybe some just are not still enough to hear Him. Maybe its just a matter of tuning into God. One of my favorite sayings has always been, Be still and know He is God. Sit in the silence, seek Him, and listen quietly. I have done that at times and literally I have felt His arms around me and He has rocked me in the Holy Spirit, there is no greater peace then that feeling. You never want to come out of it.

You need to seek the Holy Spirit, you need to welcome Him and ask Him to come into you and guide you, help you. It was a little over a year ago that I recieved the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. God told me to go outside in the middle of the night in a rain storm and just praise and worship Him. Like I said, when God tells me to do something, I do it! Jonah ended up in the belly of a whale for not obeying Gods command! lol! Anyway, I did it, and I was standing out there in the middle of my back yard, rain pelting down, lightening flashing, thunder crashing, with my arms outstretched praising Him, and the Holy Spirit came into me. It was the most awesome thing I ever experienced. He stayed with me for three days non-stop, I was drunk in the spirit. I used to laugh and tell people that I drove drunk in the Spirit for three days, had no clue where I went or how I got there! The Holy Spirit has been with me since, not flooding me like that, making me drunk with Him, although He does that now and then, but always here with me. Rarely do I pray that He does not begin praying for me, and then letting me know what He said. He prays so much different then I.

What you need to do is work it. You need to put your faith into action, because action can strenghten you and begin blocking out the enemy. As His word says something about one being worthless without the other, faith without deeds, and deeds without faith. I find that if you put them together, they can move the mountain. I posted a helps thing on restoring marriage, I think you posted there. Do the annointing oil and musturd seed thing. You in particular need to annoint and bless your home inside and out. I can tell you how to do that. A door was left open that allowed the enemy to come into your home and marriage, and one thing you need to do is drive him out of your home. This will not drive him out of your husband, but it will drive him out of the house itself, and make him real uncomfortable hanging around. You will see discomfort in your husband afterwards, that is the enemy squirming, it is hard for him to abide in the presence of God and His purity so to speak. You may even see some crazy stuff happen, the bad things in my home manifested in the natural as they were leaving the premises. One of my pastors told me that God let me see what was in my home because I was so skeptical. It scared my son to death, he was the first to see it, and my son was 19 yrs. old...it made a believer out of him. Something this drastic may not happen, but you may wake up in the middle of the night to find your husband in the bathroom vomiting. I was told this could happen, and it did about two nights later. He may do stuff. Such as one night in the late hours, Kevin sat up and just started cursing God, screaming and cursing and just as quickly he stopped. I simply looked at him and calmly said, cursing God, that is something to be proud of huh? I think for a second my husband came through because he responded kind of surprized himself and said no, just that, and laid back down. He would come through sometimes and cry and say he did not know why he was this way. Most of the time though, he was just plain evil. I began having trouble sleeping in the same room with him. I would turn TBN, the Christian television station, on the living room tv and let it play all night while I slept on the couch. Which that is another thing you need to do, constantly surround yourself with God. At all time, either have Christian music playing, or a Christian channel, TBN is best, playing on the tv. I kept it on all the tvs playing 2-7 around the clock. If you fill your home with God, the enemy has a real hard time being there, and it keeps him from invading your mind because your mind is full of Godly things...the music, the word on tv. God will also speak to you through these things, like you wish He would do. God used people on TBN so many times to give me messages. When He speaks to you, you will know it without a doubt, and He always confirms what He says to you twice. He will tell you twice through two different means..two people, a person and then the Bible, or mail message. One night I was more seriously then ever pondering, and calmly doing so, but pondering if God did not just want me to move on and away from Kevin. At the time, I had three men pursuing me, two of them strong Christians. Both in ministry, and the third one was a good friend and ex. I was sitting there thinking this, and 700 club was on. The gentleman had been talking and giving messages from God, telling what God was showing him, and he finished. He looked at the woman, and she had this strange look on her face, and he asked her if something was wrong, did she have something she needed to add before they went on. She said God just showed her a woman who was very sad, her heart was broken and she just wanted a Godly husband, that she feels so lonely, and she is thinking right now about giving up and just accepting another for a husband, but God wants me to tell her that she is not to settle for less then what He has for her, to wait on Him, and everything will be okay. This was only one incident of many like this, where He answered me through those on TBN. So you need to surround yourself 24-7 with God, and you will then hear from Him, and you will take back control of your mind and emotions, find a calm and a peace no matter what is going on before your eyes. You will find that you will no longer react, but will just let God handle all things and just coast along much more smoothly with your spouse and the things the enemy is doing through him. I have the scriptural prayers posted, Debi just pasted a bunch of them I shared last October on the prayer helps post. Speak the out loud over you and your spouse daily. Annoint everything he owns with Holy oil. Pray the hedge around him, the adultery prayer over him. It works. My husband moved in with the adultress, and I just prayed the prayer of her becoming a bitter gall to him daily. One month and she was a bitter gall to him alright. They were on the verge of killing one another, I mean going at each other violently with words. Pure hate for one another. It works. Scriptural prayer tears down the enemies strongholds, he cannot stand against Gods word, he has to let go and flee every day that you pray these prayers over your spouse and marriage. Driving him off every day helps your husband find his way back to himself until finally he can really see again and see the truth of God, and realize the deceptions he has been under, the blinders will come off for good and he will be on his knees before God crying for help. Right now he does not even know he needs help, he is blinded. You have to fight the enemy every day until you break through the deception he has placed over your husband.

Praise and worship. Put on Christian praise and worship music and dance and sing to the Lord before praying. God inhabits the praise and worship of His people, meaning He will come to you. The Holy Spirit will come join you and this is powerful. You will find the greatest part of your peace here and it will stay with you. You will find that with doing this, a joy will come to you and it will start staying with you. This is when you transform, when no matter what is happening, you feel peace and a smile is on your face and you can say Praise God over even the bad things. When you reach this level, the enemy hates this, this is pure defeat upon him..when he can no longer make you upset, make you cry, when he tries to trip you up and all he gets is a smile and a praise God, that drives him out. Meanwhile, all of this will be affecting your husband strongly, being surrounded by God even though he is not going to like it much because he is captive..his reaction to it will be the enemys, just as all he does and says right now is just the enemy, but he will be defenseless to stop you from doing it..because God is in control. When he is surrounded by Gods word, Gods music, it filters into him..just like the enemy filters his garbage into him, and this is a great weapon of warfare in driving the enemy out of your spouse and breaking him free. Do not be afraid of him, do not directly confront him, but do not be afraid of him either..when it comes to God, things of God, God has His hand upon the both of you...you have nothing to fear. The most he can do is try to escape it by going outside. My husband would go crawl in his van and sleep there, he was that uncomfortable. That just means it was working on the enemy in him, otherwise he would not be trying to escape it. There is no escape when its 24-7, only bried reprieves when they go outside or leave for awhile. What they get of it works all the same. This will also calm you to the point where you can let God do His work with your husband and you will not be so likely to react and say the wrong things or do the wrong things that hinder God. You will be able to just take a quiet stance, and a loving attitude towards him that will also affect him greatly. He will see someone he does not recognize, a strength, a peace and a joy that will confuse the enemy and make him slip up and he will start losing his hold on your husband and marriage.

I am very sleepy, so off to bed. You will be alright, this will be alright, we just have to get you working with God instead of against Him. Need to get you behind God, allowing Him to lead this battle going out before you, instead of you marching out before Him. This is not your battle, it is the Lords, and we have to get you calm and take your mind and emotions back from the enemy, so you can be a vessel God can use in this battle instead of being the hindrance that the enemy is making you be. Actions will bring get you busy for God, will get your eyes back upon God, and will bring you calm, peace and joy in the midst of the warzone, it will bring you faith to move the mountain.

Much love to you and God has you in His hands...talk to you tomorrow sometime.

Your sister in Christ.

Your last post is beautiful kristie I love hearing how others hear the Lord's voice in there heart and spirit, you hear the Lord much like I do, do you get impressions in your spirit about someone when he wants you to speak to someone about what he is impressing in your spirit about, he speaks to me often this way in my spirit man right around my heart.. You are very wise from listening to the Lord and can sense that from this last letter, you know a lot about the enemies tatics as well truely you are very close to the Lord God Bless..

oh kristie!

i am overwhelmed reading your posts, how you know what is inside of me, gosh, noone else has put it so perfect.
last night, he mowed the yard for hours, yes, he doesn't want to even be in our home. ihave annointed our home, everything in it, even the bed, which is why i find it odd that he still sleeps in it with me. last night, i was laying there, after my husband came to bed, and it just popped into my mind to say i miss how we used to play and laugh when we first met working at such and such. he got sooooooooooooooooooo angry and yelled at me to just stop it!, it is times like these that i don't know what to do. i got upset, and said i give up, what am i supposed to do, and went and slept on the couch. this morning, he didn't say a word to me.
he is so uncomfortable in our home, he sleeps all the time, i come home from work like yesterday, and if he is off early he will be sleeping on the couch, depressed like. he is working all of the time, to keep from being home, yes i see the spiritual warfare going on. i need help with my mouth, i annointed it and asked God to keep me from saying things that would tick my husband off. it just seems that any little thing makes him angry. the enemy keeps telling me, you are not as funny as those people he works with, so why would he want to come home to you? it is true, i'm not funny, i am a person with the personality of encourager, mother type, just quiet calm and relaxed, going about the house doing my own thing, don't make jokes and don't laugh at the jokes he laughs at, they seem vulgar to me. i guess i am kind of Godly, not being boastful, just reverent spirit. he doesn't like that in me. when we first met, i was just like those people, cussing vulgar ect. but when he came home in september and accepted Christ, and he wanted to change, i let the real me come out, and i don't want it to go back in. you know? i want to follow our Lord, and i want my Christian Godly husband back to do it with me, to lead me.
ok, so Kristie, what do i do? was sleeping on the couch bad? i have released him and told him i understand he is going, now how do i treat him. yesterday, i came home and ethan had baseball practice in five minutes, i was fixing to run out the door to take hime, and he yelled at me, we are all hungry, all four of the kids, me, all of us are hungry! i thought to myself, you are leaving me, and yet you still expect me to treat you like the wife? but i didn't say anything, i said ok, i'll get dinner ready and then take ethan. so i started dinner, took e, then came home and finished dinner. then later, he asked if i was taking e to the game tomorrow, which is today, and i said yes, and he just looked at me, because he had told me i could not do this, that the grandmother should be the one taking him, he doesn't want me to go for some reason, i think he fears i will find someone else. anyway, i stood up to him, and said yes, i'm taking him.
later that night, he told me to come by his work and bring the kids and he would get their lunch for free, he works at a restaurant.
see, it is weird, he fluctuates between being nice and seemingly reaching out, to beligerant, rude, and harsh. i think he is seeing someone else, and he is feeling so guilty. the person he cheats with is someone whom knows alot about music and the world culture, things i just don't know, you know? i know a little about the music kids listen to now, but not as much as he does, he should be a dj. i can't compete with a woman like that, because i was raised in a Christian home, where i wasn't allowed to listen to things like that, you know? and besides i don't wanna listen to secular music much.
anyway, the enemy constantly has in my head, u r gonna lose him, he has left 3 times, yall don't have anything in common, which is true, and he wouldn't want to come home to you. you and he don't match you and he blahblahblahblahblah.

oh kristie, when i get down on my knees and say Father, get this devil out of my head, now, please in the name of Jesus Christ be gone. i feel better, but only for a short period. why is the devil on me so much? i have never felt like this so badly, it is terrible, the worst thing ever!

how do i know if tom loves me at all? of any hope? is all his love for me gone, truly, does the devil make that all go away? and should i truly get ready for him to be leaving, is this not having faith? and how should i act or react to him? should i continue to sleep on the couch, he is still wearing his wedding ring, at home at least, oh you see, i'm confused. i have asked the Holy Spirit to talk with me, and i think he does sometimes.

oh, well, i'm going round and round again, will leave you alone.
thank you for your posts, i'm so glad God told someone how horrendous this is. i believe the Lord has something for me, and my husband to do, why else would the devil be trying so hard to get me.
i feel the next five days are going to be interesting, cause he says he will leave on the 20, the big day. i am nervous.

thanks and i love you and i'm gonna reread your posts, i have to do that, cause the devil bothers me even while i read.
kimberly

Dear Kimberley,

Remember during the last marriage vigil I was shown Glass Mountain and demonic influences for you? Also remember you asked me if it was you or Tom who was being influenced and I could not give you your answer because I did not have it?? Well I feel strongly that Kristie has given you that answer. Also Kristie wrote that God always give the confirmation twice. So now you have at least two people confirming the same thing.

You really have to stop seeing and hearing things with your human eyes and ears, open up your spiritual ones and you will hear God speaking to you loudly and clearly. Once you have stopped focusing on the negative things that you see and hear and start looking for and listening to God, you will feel an almighty peace.

You asked me in a PM, why I rarely post prayer requests about my situation, there really is a simple answer, God has told me that it is a ‘done deal’ that my Husband will return home and I believe him. I have no idea when or why (if someone has that answer you know where I am :-) ), all I know is that he will be home. That is not to say knowing that the man I love is going to bed each night with another woman does not hurt like hell, it does. However I have the faith in God to know that God will restore my marriage. Once you find that faith and peace, it is a great place to be, there is nothing that anyone can say to you that can hurt you.

Please stop focusing on what you are seeing, as Kristie has said so well here, just pass it all onto God, he can deal with it, you can’t.

Thinking and praying about you.

Hugs

Donna

AW, the one thing that I was shown that freaked me out was on the morning of the attack on the World Trade Centre. I saw a plane hit twin towers that we had in England. I had never heard of the twin towers in New York, so for me it was just and upsetting dream until the planes hit in NY. Remember we are 5 hours ahead in the UK. After that it was ages before I would allow God to show me anything, as I was so freaked out by it.

yes Donna.
you are right,
perhaps, i just need to be quiet, yes, be quiet and calm and just keep reminding me that God is with me, and in control, and when the devil starts to make me think again, just pray. i guess even if i have to do it every hour on the hour, i just have to. i gotta let go of tom and wondering if this is gonna work or not or whatever, just trust God, yes he is going to fix my marriage, i have allowed others and family to make me believe maybe it is not. i gotta just believe. believe our Lord, cause i did ask him to fix it, andnot so much fix our marriage as fix my husband's heart for the Lord. yes. that is important.

oh, well, i have to go to a baseball game, i'm so ashamed for being so weak, so ashamed, i'm really broken this time, totally. broken.
oh, Lord be with me be in me please my Lord, You take over, take the wheel. please God, amen.

Dear Kimberley,

You are not weak, you are just human, but do as we have all said that you must and you will become strong. Once you have found that strength and peace, you will look back on this time and thank God that you don’t have to go though all that again on your own.

You think I am so strong and together; well it has not always been so. I have to take a drug called Metformin, which is an insulin sensitising agent. A little while after Owen left, I worked out that it would only take 8 of these tablets to kill me off and as they were so easy to take, it would not have been a hardship. I figured that I had seen a lot of what I wanted to see in the world, I had had a nice life, achieved a lot of things, but at the time I felt that I had, had perfect love, but had lost it. I felt that I would never feel love that perfect again so what was the point in hanging around? That night I drank myself into oblivion and had my tablets all lined up ready to take. For some reason my sister sent me a text message and what ever I replied prompted her to phone me. To cut a long story short, she bored me to death on the phone until I fell asleep and the moment had passed. When you get that low, you have two choices, commit to the Lord or quit and suffer. Also from that point the only way it up.

OK, what I have written here, I am not very proud of, but I wanted to write this so that you understand that most people in your situation feel exactly as you do and you are not alone or out of the ordinary for feeling like that. The difference is how you deal with it. As I said commit or quit!!!

Just to add to this thread, here is a scripture from 2 Timothy 2 23:26

Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 24And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.


Hugs

Donna

i love you donna!
oh, gosh, please don't ever ever ever get to that point again!
thank you, for being so open and honest, yes, i'm ashamed to admit, i've had visions of crashing my auto, but God stops me. i know He is with me, just have to keep him in my head at all times, and the durn devil out!

have to go, late for baseball game, oh thank you, wish i could reach across the great waters and hug you, hug you all. yesterday was so awful, i forgot to tell you all, my boss told me i could not listen to Christian music at work anymore, he said i was doing some big word called prothetizing, don't know how to spell, so i was so upset all day, because that is all that helps. he didn't let me go, but gave me a harsh speech about letting home get too involved with work.
anyway, i love you all, and appreciate you, and am praying for you as well, yes oh yes.
we will get through this, yep, won't we! love in Christ, kimberly

Kimberly,
That is one thing I wanted to let you know, I saw thorninggraces post last night after I posted back to you, and knew there was your second confirmation, like I told you God does. Donna is right, and often He will confirm more then once and I think He has. I think that He has been trying to get to hear Him for quite awhile now in fact. I am sure He is talking to you yourself, but you are not hearing His voice. He talks to all His children, many have such busy cluttered minds full of worry and distress and they just cannot hear Him, many hear Him but do not recognize His voice. Let me try to help you this way. God is omnipotent, satan is not (this is why I tell you that when you are dumping your heart out to the Lord, feelings, fears, etc, do not speak such out loud because the enemy hears those things also..speak them in your mind to God, because He can hear you there, satan cannot..he is not omnipotent like God, he picks up on what comes out of your mouth, and he uses it against you). Okay, God is omnipotent and satan is not, he can speak to your mind through..and we know that he has been flooding your mind so heavily that your mind is a cyclone of negative, worry and fear, frustration, anger, desparation, torment. All this is satan, all things he is flooding your mind with, and in doings so he gets you to react to those things..believe them, say them, he is working you like a puppet on a string as well. You know that God is all powerful, everywhere and there is nothing satan can do that God cannot cover. So, if satan can flood your mind like that, how much more do you think God can speak to you..your mind, your heart. Trust me, God is speaking to you. You just cannot hear Him over the roaring of the enemy. The enemy is obnoxious, loud, agressive, pushy, he forces his way into your thoughts, whereas God is soft and gentle, quietly calling to you. God has never been pushy, this is because He loves us, He does not force Himself upon anyone, and when we belong to Him, He expects us to seek Him out, He does not want to have to be running after us all the time like children out of control. He strong and firm, yet calm and stern. He is the perfect parent, He teaches and guides us, and disiplines us with a loving hand, not a brutal hand. The enemy is brutal, but God is gentle. This is how the enemy drowns God out. But again, you should seek God, you need to tune the enemy out by seeking God, by surrounding yourself with God. You see how uncomfortable your husband is, that is satan, he is the one uncomfortable...satan and God cannot abide in the same dwelling together comfortably, and sorry...but satan is the odd man out..when God is present, satan shakes in his boots. Surrounding yourself with God also drives him away from you, from your mind. You see, you tell us about your husband asking if you are going to fe