Hello everyone. I have heard numerous Joyce Meyer sermons on the price of progress and oppostion to going to the next level and the like.

Satan is attacking my mind and Pete's mind with fear about the future. I realize that I am in a pathetic money pit with both my home house and my investment house. Pete started telling me yesterday that he doesn't want my bad credit ruining his and for my liabilities in connection with my investment house going after his assets! I rebuked him yesterday for his fears. The Holy Spirit was filling me up with scripture to combat Pete's fears.

But now I have started to feel condemned for my mismanagement of finances and bad choices and messes I have made in the past. I am dealing with negative thoughts like I don't deserve to marry Pete because of my bad finances. I don't want to ruin his life! We have just set a wedding date of May 6th, and now Satan is feeding us both with fears and lies and reasons why we shouldn't get married. I have been in a dilemma between God's command for us to marry and Pete's need to retain his financial stability. I don't want my mess to burden or ruin him! Pete has a right not to want his life ruined by my past messes that I am trying to clean up, but what about my needs? We are still leaping with faith to get married on May 6th. That will not change. We have to take that chance. God will honor us and bless us for the leap. Abraham left his family not knowing where he would go. We have to do the same.

I don't know what's going to happen to my investment house. That is out of my control! Dolly says my house is a money pit (So does my uncle) and I need to get out immediately, due to my house not being worth much and having to pay such a high mortgage payment each month that is killing me. And since I can't get repairs done until my investment house is sold, so I can use to proceeds to fix it, Dolly is pushing me to move out and get it sold as is from someone who would barely pay the amount owed on the house. Now because there is no gurantee when or of there will be an investment house settlement, Dolly wants me to go with plan B and not wait any longer, since I may never get the extra funds to fix my house.

There is still the challenge of finding a place to live before I get married and moving my stuff. My mind is so overloaded with worry and anxiety, I feel like I am about to have a nervous breakdown. Dolly is not my landlord! She can't force me to move out of my house by the end of October! I'm not going to be any worse off in April than I am now! The original plan was for me not to move out until around our wedding day. Dolly is pushing me to get rid of my house because she has lost faith in Ramiro. She is already being bossy enough as it is as she coordinates my wedding. She is saying that I will sink and bring Pete down with me, if I don't move out right away! How does she know? I'm not going to ruin Pete's life if I don't move out by the end of next month, c'mon! That's the stupidest thing I ever heard, I am not going to believe it! I'm sorry if I'm acting up, but I have had all of this stuff rubbed in my face to the point of my losing strength! The burdens that have been laid upon me today, tormenting my mind with fear, have caused me to lose my emotional stability. If my mess ruined Pete's life, I would be crushed beyond words or comprehension! God isn't going to let that happen. The chance has to be remote, it just has to be! I would never forgive myself in a thousand lifetimes, if I ruined Pete's life! I can't not marry him just because my life still needs cleaning up! We are going to honor God and marry anyway and take the risk!

I have suffered way too long, and I choose to believe that I am in a reaping period of my life! I am to be recompensed for what I have already lost and for what I have already sewn, and for what the devil has already stole! I refuse to believe otherwise and to listen to bad news right now! I can only endure, handle, bear and take so much! If I have to hear anything else bad, I am going to snap! I know that I don't sound like a person of faith right now, but my mind is under attack. I have bi-polar. Pete is emotionally unstable as well, right now. He is a brokenhearted man in need of spitual healing. He can only take so much. I have to be the strong one in the relationship, even though he is the rock! Pete is suffering despair and acting hopeless and speaking negative as well. We can't support each other right now, because we are both depressed and scared! Every time I've called him today, we have both pulled each other into the pit!

We both need answers! We both need God to give us hope! He has a plan and a future for us both! Satan is angry with us! He hates unity! He wants to destroy our marriage before it even starts!

We deserve a beautiful marriage and future, the abundant God honored married life that Jesus died to give us, and I'll be darned, if Satan takes that from us now! Please pray for God to come to our aid immediately. I am starting to have a nervous breakdown, because I can't take it any more! God Bless You All!


Your sister in Christ

Janet

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Stand Firm and Focus on Him

Lord, please tend to these requests of Your humble serveant Janet. Please deliver her permanently from all these afflictions. Please cause every debt to be payed off quickly and remove all the demonic attacks from Janet's mind as well as my own. Let us live as a happy family for you in a tranquil environment where we can serve You effectively. Please provide all the finances we need. Thanks, in Jesus Name amen

Breathe In....Breathe Out! Calm yourself down! Take Coal for a walk and have some Quiet Time.



Baby girl, you ain't gonna like my next statement, but PETE NEEDS TO GROW UP!! Do the words "FOR RICHER OR POORER, BETTER OR WORSE, SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH" ring a bell?? You had better open YOUR eyes because this is the "man" you intend to spend the rest of your life with!! What happens when a real glitch comes along to topple your apple cart?
While money is a cause for concern, it's not the only thing. The Bible teaches: "Where your treasure (money) is, your heart is also." If Pete's treasure is on himself...



Yes, dear, what about your needs? When you are married, it's no longer about you!! It's about 'y'all.' And add some children into the mix and it's about 'you's guys!!' The "what I want" becomes deleted from your mind, mouth and heart! You will quickly learn the art of separating "wants" from "needs". Food, clothing, shelter- needs. Vacation, new car, shiny new house, bling- wants. As for "Rights", when you are married and are a parent, your rights go right out the window! Your rights are replaced by the other person's needs.

It sounds like you both are going through that premarital jitters thing. But don't let that turn into a panic situation. Don't let that ruin your plans. No one on earth has all the answers. God does, but He's not giving them to you all at once!

As far as your house, I would really try to fix it up. Do what you can little by little. And enlist the help of friends from church. Give Pete a hammer and a lawn mower too. Part of our obedience to God is to be good stewards of what we have. Your parents left you a home. If the other houses in the neighborhood are in good shape and look nice, you owe it to your neighbors to take care of what you have. What is the hurry to leave your home? Are you the target of nightly drive-by shootings? (I lived in such a neighborhood, but God brought me through it!)
Can you enlist the help of friends and people from your church? Paying for 2 houses and rent on a third place is just ridiculous. If your house needs a lot of work and selling it would mean taking a beating, then perhaps you should consider staying in it and when you and Pete get married, moving him into your house. A condo is hardly "kid friendly". Will his condo allow dogs? Most people I have known to live in condo complexes are single, older or childless and have either no pets or have a cat. Unless you do not want children and are willing to get rid of your dog, then perhaps that would not be the ideal setting.

Seek a reputable marriage counselor for premarital counselling. These issues of "MY credit rating", "MY bad credit" "MY financial situation", "MY past messes", "Pete's money", "MY liabilities", "Pete's assets" all have to be rectified BEFORE you take that walk down the aisle. Money disagreements will not go away and will erode a marriage. Ignoring the problem will not make it go away. Thinking that spending more time in the bedroom to counter money disagreements or any other arguements will solve them, will not. There is more testimony on the subject to back this up. Don't kid yourself- NO ONE is immune from money problems!!
Money is usually a measure by which one spouse controls the other. Allowing yourself to be bullied because of past mistakes and poor judgements, is not going to fix the problem. And it's not fair. Have a blessed day.

Father God,
Thank You for our sister Janet. Please comfort her fears and anxieties. Please help her to focus on You. Please help her to know that You are our Great Provider and our Great Counselor. Please help ease her concerns for her future and to rely on You and You alone for her needs. Please help her to seek Your Word and Truth and not the words of any person here on earth in regards to the future. Only You know what the future hold for each of us, Dear Lord. You have a purpose for each of us. You have given each of us Gifts to use for Your Glory. Please help our dear sister janet to discover her Gifts and Your purpose for her. Please clear her mind of contrasting thoughts. Please draw her closer to You and to put You first in her plans. When we ask You for guidance, Lord, You show us. When we try to make our will Your Will, You show us then also! Thank You, Lord, for everything You have blessed us with. Please bless Janet with patience and peace. In Jesus' Name I Pray. Amen.

Sharyn

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When You Are Down To Nothing....God Is Up To Something!
GOD IS SO GOOD...ALL THE TIME!

Lord, Let Me Be On Fire For You!

When you reach the end of your rope you will find the hem of His garment.



**The soil is the word and you are the tree.
Don't unroot yourself out of the good soil.
Stay planted in the word of God!**

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Hi Sharyn! Thank you so much for your awesome advice! My flesh and emotions are acting up quite a bit, so I was just letting my fears out according to my feelings, rather than by the spirit. I realize some of the stuff I said made me sound like I wasn't living in faith, which is why I mentioned that my mind was being attacked. I know the truth of what is needed for a stable marriage. My mind is a battlefield. The only and best thing I can do right now is to turn to God for direction, since he is my only hope. You are right that our marriage will be about us. I thought that was clear from the beginning. I should not have to be tormented over Pete's needs not being met. I should focus on them, but not get bent out of shape, fearing that I will be a failure in meeting those needs. I have prayed to God with desperation, that he enable me to be blessing and not a burden to Pete. I am suffering from guilt and condemnation. I am aware that I am having thoughts that are not of the Lord. I have to fight the battles and not allow the enemy to scare me into thinking that things could go wrong with our future. I am having stuff done to my house, but the major stuff will have to wait until my investment house sells so I can use those proceeds for repairs. Dolly is already pushing a backup plan on me in case this falls through by just telling me to move out right away, and I don't agree with this being the solution, and I would like to believe that God doesn't either. I will seek God in all of this. I have even asked God to take us home, if we will not be able to have a future with purpose. I think I will go to a Christain bookstore tonight or something. I could really use some inspiration. We already have plans to have pre-marital counseling. I know we need it, because I do have a history of mental illness, and just look how I'm going crazy right now! We need to get a move on, getting that set up, I know. I realize that the covenant of marriage is all about God, not me or him. God Bless You.


Your sister in Christ

Janet

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Stand Firm and Focus on Him

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Hey Christy, thank you so much for your awesome support, inspiration, and advice! As of now, I am being a good steward of what I have left. The messes of my past are just taking forever to clean up, and I have to keep at it. God Bless You Sister!


Your sister in Christ

Janet

__________________
Stand Firm and Focus on Him

Thank you Christy!

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Stand Firm and Focus on Him

Well, we've all been at our whit's end at some time or another. It's just all piling up on you. Been there. I empathise.

Hmmm.... Why is it necessary to sell your house? What if it doesn't sell and just sits on the market? Wouldn't that make the financial situation even more messy? I have only rented apartments, so if my ignroance is showing, enlighten me.

I don't have a lot of great advice. But I do know our God can do ANYTHING! He will bring you the miracles needed to deal with ALL these situations. He can clean up your bad credit, etc. I keep praying He will send you financial miracles.

Lord, give this couple strength. They are each needy, and they must come to You for healing, not think that they can heal each other. I pray they always keep God at the top of the trinangle, and as each of them grows closer to God, let them grow closer to each other. Father, they must be strong as INDIVIDUALS in order to make the marriage work. If they are two halves, they will not make a whole. So, let them each continue to build a strong, deep, loving relationship with You, which is the key to any marriage. Lord, remove all fears and give them peace of mind. Show them that You did not bring them this far to leave them. In Jesus Name, amen.

~JeriRose~
Finding YOU in 2005

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24 But let him who glories glory in this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD, exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth. For in these I delight,” says the LORD. (Jeremiah 9:24)

There ya go, Janet! I knew you'd come around! I read your post and was going to myself,"Man! She's letting herself get hysterical!" That's why I suggested taking Coal out. Get some pretty sunshine (or let the rain fall on your umbrella!) Just get some fresh air.
And don't give the enemy so much credit!! Even on my worst day, I don't let him get the glory! No way! If something is going wrong, I stop and say "What is God trying to teach me or what is God trying to tell me?" Then I have to stop what I'm doing and listen to Him!! Since I have taken that approach, I find I have so few bad days. They come, but not like a year ago! And they don't drag on for weeks like they used to. But don't let the enemy enter into the equation

Take care, sweetie. Chin up
Sharyn

__________________
When You Are Down To Nothing....God Is Up To Something!
GOD IS SO GOOD...ALL THE TIME!

Lord, Let Me Be On Fire For You!

When you reach the end of your rope you will find the hem of His garment.



**The soil is the word and you are the tree.
Don't unroot yourself out of the good soil.
Stay planted in the word of God!**

Hye Jerina! Thank you so much for your awesome prayers and advice! I totally agree with everything you said. I know that Pete and I each need to know who we are in Christ. I have become insecure, ever since Pete expressed his fear about my mess messing him up. God has helped me to remember that it is he who arranged this marriage in the first place. It amazing how Satan causes us to forget these things. I was upset about the hurricane Rita, coming our way yesterday as well. That is something scary. We don't need another crisis! I need to know that it is ok that I have financial mess to clean up and that I am doing the best that I can. God will take care of the rest. I am trusting God to work out everything in our future for our best, for our benefit and in our favor. I am asking God most of all to glorify himself in our marriage. God Bless You!


Your sister in Christ

Janet

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Stand Firm and Focus on Him