WASHINGTON - In this year's State of the Union address, President Bush announced plans to double the spending for abstinence education. But when it comes to sex education, parents should not be so quick to drop their guard if they see or hear the word "abstinence."

Robert Rector, a leading family expert with the Heritage Foundation, says that these comprehensive ‘sex ed’ programs have more to do with teaching sexual technique than abstinence. Some of the lesson plans actually give detailed information on how to use condoms or participate in so-called "condom races."

Rector says, "These curricula typically have middle school children practice unrolling condoms on dildos or cucumbers. They have kids go out and practice buying condoms in stores around the neighborhood. They have homosexual role playing. They teach kids to hide condoms on their bodies so their partners can feel them and find the condom. It is material virtually that no parent in the United States would want to have their children exposed to."

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So, how is this happening? Rector says it is a deceptive choice of wording. Many of these programs are quietly passing parental muster because they sound safe and unassuming with names like "abstinence based" or "abstinence plus."

They are based on a report called "The Guidelines for Comprehensive Sexuality and Education". It outlines what kids from kindergarten through high school should be taught about sex. Supporters of these guidelines read like a ‘who's who’ in the medical, health and educational field. There is just one problem; most parents would be horrified at their content.

Here is just a sampling of programs based on these guidelines:

"Focus on Kids" has students visit local stores to find which has the best price on condoms.

There's a program called "Be Proud! Be Responsible!" geared toward adolescent boys. It suggests students hide condoms on their bodies and have their partners find them.

Then there's "Becoming a Responsible Teen." Rector says it educates kids not only on condoms, but lubrication and lubricant alternatives that can be found in any grocery store.

Groups that support these kinds of programs claim abstinence-only-until-marriage programs are unrealistic, and deny young people the information they need to protect themselves.

Sarah Brown, Director of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, says, "As teenagers become older, a number of them are going to become sexually active. It has always been the case. It would be foolish not to arm people with basic information that could even save their lives."

But Rector says these programs encourage kids to be sexually active . And that has all kinds of harmful effects.

He says, "What we need to do is tell teens that teens that are sexually active are about three times more likely to be depressed than those who are not., They are three to five times more likely to attempt suicide. And early teen sexual activity is related to health problems and sexually transmitted diseases. But more than that, early teenage sexual activity sets up a pattern of casual sex and promiscuity that can last a lifetime. This is what we need to tell teens, and we're not telling them."

A recent Zogby poll shows parents overwhelmingly prefer abstinence, and do not want sexually explicit programs, such as those that teach children as young as five about masturbation. Yet despite parents' wishes, and a president encouraging abstinence, even the federal government has been pushing these programs.

Last year, the Centers For Disease Control caught flak for promoting some of these same comprehensive sex ed programs. After protests, they finally pulled the plug on the web site. But the CDC still defends its support for what it calls "organizations that help improve child and adolescent health."

At the grassroots, there is protest as well. Therese Gavin was upset when she found that her school's new health textbooks focused little attention on abstinence. She spoke to the school board because the book's content didn't fit her beliefs.

Gavin said, "I want an abstinence-based curriculum that doesn't concentrate [at] all on birth control. That it actually concentrates more on abstinence."

The Gavins were not alone in their objection to material included in "A Teen's Guide to Sexuality". Eighth grader Rose Milefsky and her parents objected to the authors' claim that the reasons for dating and becoming a parent were to "build up one's ego or self-esteem."

The girls were also bothered by explicit illustrations of male and female genitalia shown in the text.

Milefsky said, "It was very, very graphic. The graphics were pretty detailed and not very pleasant.

Despite their efforts, the Arlington County, Virginia, school board adopted the new curriculum. Now, both girls say they're planning to opt out.

Cassidy, a seventh grader at another school in the same district, has already taken that stand. She is the only one in her class of 20 to opt out, which she admits separates her from her friends.

"In one part, I'm proud that I know this is wrong, that I’m opting out," Cassidy said. "But I'm sad with other people that don't know it's wrong, that think it's okay."

The debate will likely continue even when Cassidy's generation becomes parents. While abstinence programs are growing in popularity, it is clear that is not the message your children are always getting. Which means if abstinence is truly what parents want, the challenge is to make sure you are not being deceived.

A new report from the Heritage Foundation shows that for every dollar the government spends on abstinence, it spends 12 dollars promoting family planning and contraceptives.