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Online Bible |
1 Timothy 2:5
For [there is] one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;
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This is Topic: Laughing is fun
Following are the News Items published under this Topic.
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Posted by: JG on Saturday, September 18, 2004 - 03:04 AM |
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An Atheist's prayer was answered by God
My Dear Friends:
After three weeks of prayer and intercession. After all the prayer request and praise reports from Charley, Frances and Ivan. After the heart ache of what is going on in the world today I needed a break. I hope you like this. Now unlike the GrandMa funny story this one is a little different. I just though we needed a break. I hope you enjoyed this one.
An Atheist and God
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. He said to himself:
What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!"
As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look.
He saw a 7 foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path.
He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.
He tripped and fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him,
reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
The Atheist cried out: "Oh, my God!..."
Time stopped. The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a booming voice came out of the sky:
"You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist,
and even credit creation to a cosmic accident.
Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light,
"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now,
but perhaps you could
make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
The bear dropped his right paw,
brought both paws together and lifted his head toward heaven and spoke:
"Lord, bless this food,
which I am about to receive from thy bounty
through Christ our Lord,
Amen."
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Posted by: JG on Saturday, September 11, 2004 - 06:53 PM |
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A new minister in a small Oklahoma town spent his first four
days
calling on the membership, inviting them to his first service. The
next Sunday, there were few in attendance. He desperately tried
several other approaches, but failed! He placed a notice in the
local
newspapers, stating that as the church was dead, it was his duty to
give it a decent Christian burial. The burial would be held the
following Sunday afternoon.
Morbidly curious, the whole town turned out. In front of the
pulpit they saw a high coffin, smothered in flowers. The minister
read the obituary and delivered a eulogy; he then invited the
congregation to step forward to pay their respects to the dearly
beloved who had departed.
The long line filed by; each mourner peeked into the coffin and
turned away with a guilty, sheepish look.... for in the coffin,
tilted at the correct angle, was a large mirror. Everyone saw
HIMSELF!!! The next Sunday, the clever new minister preached to a
full house!!
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Posted by: JG on Friday, July 16, 2004 - 04:58 PM |
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26 Beautiful One-liners 1. Give God what's right -- not what's left. 2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way leads to an endless hope. 3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing. 4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone. 5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma--but never let him be the period. 6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period. 7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift. 8. When praying, don't give God instructions - just report for duty. 9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church. 10. We don't change God's message -- His message changes us. 11. The church is prayer-conditioned. 12. When God ordains, He sustains. 13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning. 14. Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark. 15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position. 16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
There is a lot more.
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Posted by: JG on Sunday, July 04, 2004 - 12:06 AM |
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Don't Mess With Grandma:
This is a true story ...
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.
She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it!
Get out of the car!" the four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, some what shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.
She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why.
A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove
to the Police station..
The sergeant to whom she told the story
couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed.
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Posted by: JG on Monday, January 12, 2004 - 02:52 PM |
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Please Click read more to see larger photo
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